We’re looking forward to introducing you to Gabby Jimenez. Check out our conversation below.
Gabby, really appreciate you sharing your stories and insights with us. The world would have so much more understanding and empathy if we all were a bit more open about our stories and how they have helped shaped our journey and worldview. Let’s jump in with a fun one: Who are you learning from right now?
When I stop to think about who I am learning from right now, the answer is simple: I am learning from everyone around me. My greatest teachers are often my patients and the people preparing to say goodbye to them. Those who are dying teach me, every day, how to live. Those who are saying goodbye remind me of the depth of love. Together, they show me what life is really about.
I also learn from my colleagues, my children and grandchildren, my friends, and even my neighbors. The more I grow in this work and in life, the more I see how much wisdom is shared when we come together. None of us are meant to do this work, or this life, alone. Each person brings their own gifts, their own ways, their own perspectives. And in that sharing, I am reminded that learning never ends.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
My name is Gabrielle Elise Jimenez (Gabby) and I am a hospice and palliative care nurse, an end-of-life doula, a death and dying educator, a published author, and I am currently working as a pediatric palliative care nurse with children who have a high acuity of medical challenges, some of which who are at the end of their lives.
I decided in my mid forties that I wanted to be a hospice nurse, which was not something I ever thought I would do, but came about after a friend of mine was dying and I helped care for him. I changed my whole life to make this happen and it was incredibly challenging and difficult. To be completely transparent, I did not think I would make it through nursing school and thought about quitting many times. One thing I didn’t realize was that they do not teach hospice or end-of-life care in nursing school, so once I received my license, I had to learn this role from scratch. My colleagues were my mentors, and my patients and their families were my teachers. 2500 patients later, and witnessing about 2000 last breaths, I can now look back on my whole life and see that despite not seeing it then, I was meant to land here.
In 2019 I started a Facebook page called The Hospice Heart with the intention of creating a safe place for people to talk about death, dying, and grief. It has now reached 165,000 followers. This does not make make popular, this reminds me just how many people are declining from age or illness, how many people are providing care for someone else, how many people are dying, and how many people are grieving. I have written nine books and co-authored a tenth. My intention with everything I do is to help improve the way people are cared for when they are dying and grieving.
When someone is given a terminal diagnosis, their autonomy, their voice, and their choices are taken from them. Everyone is telling them how to feel, how to think, and even how to die. I want to be the kind of person that turns the volume back up on their voice, reminding everyone around them to listen to them… not to fix them or tell them what to do, but to listen to how they feel, and ask them what they need and want, so that when the time comes that they no longer have a voice, all who love them, will know what they need and will honor their wishes.
So here I am, many years later and I work with the children, but I also have private doula clients that I help guide and support as they decline from age or illness, transition to hospice, and begin their end-of-life journey. I also support the people who love them as they prepare to say goodbye and walk alongside them on their grief journey. I also speak to groups about end-of life-care over zoom and in-person, I teach classes, and I write, all with the same intention, which is to ensure that all human beings are cared for on their terms, with dignity and compassion.
Great, so let’s dive into your journey a bit more. What did you believe about yourself as a child that you no longer believe?
As a child I was told numerous times that I would never amount to anything, that I was not smart. and that I would fail. I believed this my entire life because I kept hearing the voice repeating the same words over and over in my head. It was this voice that held me back, it convinced me that I was not worthy of more, and held me down in this rare moments I wanted to try something new. I looked in the mirror and saw myself as unworthy. I believed this to be true. Because of this I did not try harder for anything, and I always settled for less. When I decided to go to nursing school in my forties, every obstacle pushed itself in my path, but I pushed back. I almost failed nursing school in the last module and had to retake that part of the program over again. It was humiliating and it crushed my spirit, but I continued fighting. On the day of graduation as I was crossing the stage to get pinned, I looked up at the sky as if to speak to those who doubted me, and I said, ‘You were wrong, I am smart.” And it was at that moment that I promised myself no one would ever take that from me again. I am smart and I have accomplished a lot by working really hard, and I am incredibly proud of myself. I want to continue to learn and grow in this field but I am no longer needing to prove it to anyone else, the only person I need to prove my worth to, is me.
What did suffering teach you that success never could?
Sadly I have experienced a lot of trauma in my life, which started when I was about six years old. I have been abused sexually, physically, and verbally by the people I trusted the most and those I didn’t even know. Most of my life was spent wishing things were different. I have been hurt, lied to, cheated on, abandoned, and left crumbled in a pile of tears on the floor more times than I can count. Graduating nursing school was when change happened for me, it is when I found my voice, when I started to believe in myself, and when I learned that the only person who could make things happen for me, was me. I suffered a lot, and no one should ever experience what I have, but it does not define me. I wish I found this strength earlier on, but I found it and that is what matters. I have a good reputation in the field I am working in, I have mentored others who dream of doing this work, I have made people feel safe and less alone at the most fragile and intimate times of their life. I am good at what I do and I feel successful in all that I have challenged myself with and where I am in my life now. What did suffering teach me that success never could? That you should never allow anyone else to determine your self worth, that you are not the story others tell, that you do not have drag around your past like a bag of bricks, you absolutely can let it go, and most of all to dream big but work hard to make it happen, it feels better when you have earned it. The scars have faded. My past is a part of me, but it is not all of me. I got here the hard way… but I got here.
Sure, so let’s go deeper into your values and how you think. Is the public version of you the real you?
My answer to this is yes, but it was not always this way. I have spent my whole life pleasing others. Everything I said or did was done with the sole intention of making sure I did not let anyone down. I was a chameleon; I changed who I was with every person I was with at the time, saying everything I thought they wanted to hear, being who I thought they wanted me to be, and liking and doing what they liked. It was exhausting. I thought I had to be the best daughter, the best sister, the best auntie, the best mommy, the best friend, the best employee. It wasn’t a complete act though, I really did like what I was doing and it made me happy, or at least I thought it did at the time. It was all I knew, but as I started getting older I struggled to see who I really was. There were so many versions of me that it made me dizzy.
When I became a nurse I found myself, the real me, the person deep inside who was always afraid to show herself. It was so refreshing. I loved the person I was when I was with the patients and their families and I realized that they were getting the real version of me, the honest and best version of me, and I liked it. After a while I dropped all the masks and I became the me I always wanted to be and I really liked her… but, unfortunately I lost some people in my life along the way that didn’t. I had to make peace with that.
I can happily say that the public version of me, is finally the real me. I wear my heart on my sleeve, I am open and honest, I am vulnerable and transparent, and wherever I go, whomever I meet, they will all get the same person who has finally accepted herself flaws and all.
Thank you so much for all of your openness so far. Maybe we can close with a future oriented question. What is the story you hope people tell about you when you’re gone?
I have thought about this question a lot as I am often helping others to determine what their legacy will be and what story people will tell long after they have gone. I don’t want my past to be my story unless it is told with the reminder that you are not your past, and that you can survive difficult times. I want my legacy to be that I worked hard, that I made a difference, and that I was kind. But most of all, I would like my legacy to be that I inspired others to see their gifts, and to shoot for the stars, to not give up, and to never let anyone dim your light. When people talk about me after I have died, I want it to be because they did better because I was that voice in their head that said they could.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.thehospiceheart.net
- Instagram: @gabrielle.elise.jimenez
- Linkedin: Gabrielle Elise Jimenez
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehospiceheart.net/
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