Meet Desteny Tolbert

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Desteny Tolbert a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Desteny, so great to have you on the platform. There’s so much we want to ask you, but let’s start with the topic of self-care. Do you do anything for self-care and if so, do you think it’s had a meaningful impact on your effectiveness?

If I’m being completely honest, I’m only just now learning how to truly prioritise myself. For a long time I poured all of my energy into everyone and everything else. But I’ve realized that if I want to keep creating and really live life, I have to take care of myself first…fill my own tank with self-love so I can keep going.

Right now my self-care looks like impulsive YET still fun guilt-free joys: eating out, shopping, and reminding myself that I deserve little bits of happiness too. On the more ‘Instagram-friendly’ side, I’ve been more consistent with skincare…thanks to Curology and my dermatologist. Yes, Prioritize your body! Prioritize the capsule that holds your soul…but at its core my self-care is simply living for me, making decisions I want that benefit me. There’s nothing wrong with choosing yourself; you have to choose you before you can show up fully for others.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

I’m an actress and baby writer (with a side of existential-crisis poetry) out here in SoCal! When Boldly Journey first talked to me I was just a baby actor!

Now I’m an actress who’s worked on features, shorts, vertical series, voiceover, and modeling gigs…I’m currently represented by AKA Talent.

My vibe is basically depth with a dash of chaos and fun, like a Gen-Z twist turned up to eleven! Combine a Tumblr girl with theatre talent and, unfortunately, I’m what comes out of the machine. I love performance in all forms; it’s literally my whole personality at this point and I probably need to find some other quirks soon…

Whatever the format, a commercial, a vertical, a poem or a feature, I want it to feel real and human. New stuff’s coming soon and I’m hyped to share it.

My artistry and goal is to make the human experience feel a little less lonely and a little less weird for everyone who’s on this journey with me, or just watching from the sidelines.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Three things that helped me?

1. It sounds corny, but be yourself. If you’re WANTING to be seen, don’t just copy what the people you look up to are doing…make it your own style. You want to be known for your authenticity, not for being a knock-off of someone else.

2. Try new things. The world really is your canvas. It’s scary, but try everything! If you want to write? write. If you want to sing? sing. If you want to dance? well…dance. Go into new experiences with the mindset that you’re learning for yourself and expect mistakes and failures. That’s the fun part. You grow as you fail, make mistakes, and keep going.

3. Write your thoughts and feelings down. It sounds simple, but so much of the overthinking and overwhelm becomes smaller when you put it on paper. (Trust me, It seems corny but TRUST ME!)

How can folks who want to work with you connect?

Always and forever. I’ve realised I genuinely love the people I meet and get to work with. I want to collaborate with folks from all walks of life, learn their motivations and dreams, and be part of what they’re creating.

One of my bucket-list goals is to meet and work with as many people as possible…literally millions one day, which sounds wild, but I’m determined to make it happen.

They can connect with me anywhere, email me, follow me, find me! I will respond always.

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