We recently connected with Lyn Phares and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Lyn, really appreciate your meeting with us today to talk about some particularly personal topics. It means a lot because so many in the community are going through circumstances where your insights and experience and lessons might help, so thank you so much in advance for sharing. The first question we have is about divorce and how you overcame divorce and didn’t allow the trauma of divorce to derail your vision for your life and career.
I was married young, at 19, and divorced by 21. My husband was an abusive alcoholic, and though I knew about his struggles when we married, I naively believed that marriage and parenthood would inspire him to change. Over time, I realized he wouldn’t — but pride kept me from admitting I’d made a mistake. When the abuse began to threaten my young son, I knew I had to leave.
Leaving was incredibly difficult. We tried reconciling once, but it ended badly. With the support of my aunt, who had been through a similar experience, I obtained a restraining order, and eventually, my ex-husband went to prison. My family was my lifeline — they helped me financially when they could and cared for my son when I needed help. I was earning about $900 a month and had to budget carefully, but my parents had raised me to be self-reliant, disciplined, and hard-working, and those values carried me through.
My purpose became clear: to raise my son to be a strong, kind, and capable adult. I later moved to another town, put myself through college, and earned a bachelor’s degree in Management Information Systems. During that time, I met the man who would become my husband. We shared the same work ethic and values, and together we built a stable, loving family.
Becoming a stay-at-home mother was one of the best chapters of my life. I was there to watch my children grow, teach them life lessons, and create a peaceful home — something I had always wanted for them. Later, I became a teacher at the private school they attended, which allowed me to continue spending time with them.
Looking back, I realize that overcoming divorce wasn’t just about leaving a difficult marriage — it was about reclaiming my strength, redefining my purpose, and creating a life of love and stability for my children. Seeing them now as successful, kind, and responsible adults is the greatest reward of all.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I’ve spent most of my life in the business field, but my professional path has been shaped by the seasons of my life. When I became a single mother, I decided to start over — I moved to a new town, put myself through college, and earned my bachelor’s degree in Management Information Systems. After graduation, I remarried and became a stay-at-home mother for several years, which was one of the most rewarding times of my life. I loved being able to watch my children grow, teach them life lessons, and create a peaceful home.
When my children grew older, I felt called to return to the professional world. I first returned to teaching, working at the private school they attended, and later transitioned back into business. Today, I serve as the Executive Director of our local Chamber of Commerce.
What excites me most about this role is that it combines my love for business with my passion for community. I get to work with local entrepreneurs, organizations, and city leaders to strengthen our local economy and create opportunities for growth. The flexibility of my position allows me to lead strategically while still connecting personally with the people who make our community special.
I’m especially proud of the collaborative projects we’ve launched to support small businesses and local events that bring our town together. Going forward, I’m focused on expanding partnerships, increasing community engagement, and continuing to build a stronger, more connected local business network.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
The three qualities that have carried me through every season of my life are self-reliance, discipline, and a strong work ethic — all lessons I learned from my parents. These traits have guided me both at home and in the workplace.
Self-reliance taught me to trust my own judgment and abilities, especially during times when I had to start over. It gave me the confidence to make difficult decisions and build a stable life for myself and my family.
Discipline helped me stay focused and consistent, even when circumstances were overwhelming. Whether it was budgeting carefully as a single mother or finishing college while raising children, discipline kept me moving forward.
And a strong work ethic ensured that no matter the challenge, I would give my best effort and take pride in the results — something that has opened many doors throughout my career.
If I could give one piece of advice to those early in their journey, it would be this: believe in yourself sooner. Confidence doesn’t come from perfection; it comes from action. Don’t wait for others to change or for the “perfect moment” to start — take that first step, invest in your growth, and know that you can shape your own future. You can’t control other people, but you can control how you respond, how you grow, and how you see yourself.
What is the number one obstacle or challenge you are currently facing and what are you doing to try to resolve or overcome this challenge?
The biggest challenge I’m facing right now is finding a new sense of purpose now that my children are grown. There’s an eleven-year age gap between my first and second child, so I’ve been a mother for more than 30 years. When my middle child went to college and my youngest graduated high school, I realized that my entire adult life had revolved around being a mother — and suddenly, that chapter was complete.
It left me asking, What now? For years, my identity and purpose were centered around nurturing and guiding my family, so learning to focus on myself again has been both uncomfortable and transformative. I’ve spent the past few years rediscovering who I am outside of motherhood — exploring new interests, reconnecting with old passions, and allowing myself to grow in new directions.
It’s still a work in progress, and honestly, one of the hardest transitions I’ve ever faced. But I’m beginning to see it not as the end of a purpose, but as the start of a new one — a time to invest in myself and continue evolving.
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