Meet Diane Button

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Diane Button. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Diane, thank you so much for taking the time to share your lessons learned with us and we’re sure your wisdom will help many. So, one question that comes up often and that we’re hoping you can shed some light on is keeping creativity alive over long stretches – how do you keep your creativity alive?

I keep my creativity alive by paying attention to my surroundings, actively listening to people’s stories, and genuinely staying curious about the world around me. For many years, maybe even decades I was running through life as fast as I could, always rushing from one event to the next, from one appointment to the next. But when I started working with people at the end of life, I realized that they had slowed down and were so much more peaceful and less frantic than I was. They were taking it all in while I was rushing to yoga class. They were enjoying the simple moments of an ordinary day and focusing on love, family, friends, and the simplicity of each moment.

One specific client stopped me in my tracks. He was very sick, and also very lonely. He was a very successful man, on the outside. He had spent his entire life making money and accumulating material possessions. He had a beautiful home with many acres of land, fancy cars, and people who catered to his every need. Yet, he was alone. He neglected to foster relationships with his wife and his own children, and they had all long gone. And there he was. Alone. And dying. One day he looked out over his lush, green land and said to me, “I missed it. I missed my entire life.” It hit him hard that he had wasted so much time on the fast track, on an adrenaline high of more and more fame, property, and wealth. It was too late for my client. Sadly, none of his family came to see him.

I remember leaving his house one day and thinking to myself that I never want to miss the moments that link together to form a life. I want to be here for it all! I want to feel it all and honor all the emotions that life brings. Since then, I’ve never had a shortage of creativity. Every day I stop and look at something beautiful for a full minute, grounding me and reminding me that this moment is all that I really have. The present moment is filled with beauty and opportunities for creative sparks to fly. You just have to slow down a bit and be open to letting it in.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I am a death doula, a companion for the dying. It is truly such a privilege to sit with people who are facing the end of life and to hear their stories, their fears, and their hopes and dreams. They are my greatest teachers. My job is to support people to find peace, comfort, love, forgiveness, and even joy at the end of life. I am also an instructor at the University of Vermont’s end of life doula program, where we teach others to do this sacred work. Over the past five years I’ve added author to my resume. I’ve written several books about death and dying (and life and living!) that you could read about on my website www.dianebutton.com.

After an article I wrote went viral in The Sunday Paper, Maria Shriver invited me to write my recent book called What Matters Most: Lessons the Dying Teach Us About Living. I’m so grateful for her vision and her willingness to lean into topics that many might shy away from. This book is not about death. It’s about what people care about most when they reach the end of their lives. My clients have shared their hearts with us, giving us a glimpse into how we might feel as we look back over our live. Did I love well? Do the people I love know that we love them? Have I forgiven the people I want to forgive and said thank you to others? Is the world a better place because I was here? These are some of the questions that we can ask ourselves now. This is what gets me excited these days …. the meaningful conversations I have with my clients to help them see what matters most. I am also enjoying the fact that many people who are not sick or dying are so excited to learn from the wise and courageous people who were willing to share their stories with us!

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

To be a doula, I needed to learn to be 100% present at all times. Of course, this is hard to do in everyday life, where we are tugged in so many different directions and distracted constantly. To be present for my clients means I needed to let go of my own cares, worries, and personal problems before I meet with someone, so I always take a few deep breaths before I knock on the door. To be able to listen without trying to “fix” someone is another important skill I had to develop. I was one of those people who always wanted to jump in with a solution, but I soon learned that most people just need to be heard. So listening is key. There is nothing to fix. These skills have evolved into my everyday life as well. I try to be fully present, to listen well, and to not always jump in to offer what I think are solutions. I’ve found over the years that it’s much more empowering if people can just have someone to talk to. Often the answers are waiting there for them to discover on their own.

Alright, so before we go we want to ask you to take a moment to reflect and share what you think you would do if you somehow knew you only had a decade of life left?

I love this question because I think about this often. As I age, I find myself wanting to slow down even more. This year my career has taken a giant leap and it’s caused me to move at a pace that feels exciting but also wildly unnatural! I’ve recently hit the pause button and began to reflect about how I want to live my life moving forward. I think a main takeaway for me recently is that I cannot say “yes” to everything that comes my way, even the good things. My calendar can load up so fast and then before I know it, I’m not giving myself time to exercise, to be still, to read a book, or to spend time with the people I love. Being intentional can make all the difference. For the short term, I’ve started marking my calendar with the words “FREE DAY” and I make sure that I don’t book anything at all on those rare days. Even one day a week can bring so much peace.

In my work, we learn not to take time for granted. Honestly, I would LOVE to live for 10 more years, but I know that my time is not guaranteed, so my hope is that I can make every day count. There are a few trips I want to take, a few small work goals that I have, and I want to continue to make my home a cozy and inviting space for my friends and kids to visit. Home is very important to me, and to have time to be nesting, cooking, tending to the simple things sounds dreamy to me right now!

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.dianebutton.com
• Instagram: @dianebuttondoula
• Facebook: Diane Button

Image Credits

Jane Richey