We recently connected with Ali Gordon and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Ali, so excited to have you with us today and we are really interested in hearing your thoughts about how folks can develop their empathy? In our experience, most folks want to be empathic towards others, but in a world where we are often only surrounded by people who are very similar to us, it can sometimes be a challenge to develop empathy for others who might not be as similar to us. Any thoughts or advice?
Nothing sharpens your empathy and ability to sympathize and connect with others quite like going through some terrible times. I lost both of my parents — they passed within a year and a half of each other, and I stopped everything to assist as a caretaker during their illness. My whole life was upended by their deaths. I put work, creativity, and relationships on pause. Coming back into the ‘real world’ was like stepping out of a perma-freeze. But, funny enough, the world wasn’t frozen — it had spun happily on! It was me that was thawing, trying to catch up on what I’d missed. That period of life was extraordinarily difficult. So now when I know that a friend or colleague is going through something similar, I try my hardest to lend a sympathetic ear, and let them know I sincerely understand the strangeness of ‘coming back into life.’ I have also tried my hardest to express this feeling in my writing; especially in my debut novel “We Have Reached the End of Our Show.” There are lots of pieces of fiction about grief — but this is my attempt to capture these seismic feelings about being young, losing time, losing potential, losing loved ones, and learning empathy.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
While I work professionally as a comedian, my debut novel “We Have Reached the End of Our Show” is quite earnest. I promise the next one will be funny!
I’ve always wanted to write a novel. As a child, I used to handwrite ‘novels’ for my grandparents to both read AND review – that’s how you know novelists are truly born, not made, and are ultimately broken beyond fixing! (Haha)
Going through the crucible of monumental loss – double parental loss, with both deaths so close together – made the narrative for this novel very clear in my mind. It isn’t autobiographical by any means. None of the characters are representative of myself, anyone I know, or any specific moment in time. But, of course, the characters and plot points are all pieces in the kaleidoscope, so to speak. They’re what I was turning over and over, peering through the lens, trying to make meaning out of the senseless-feeling pain in my life. It helped immensely. I realized I didn’t need to tell *my* story to still tell a truthful one, and to still glean some peace and understanding out of the process.
And, yes, I’m still trying to be funny professionally. I teach and perform improv all over the world when I’m not writing novels that will make you cry and examine your mortality.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
My three pieces of advice are as follows:
Be generous – be generous with your time, your ideas, and your collaborations.
Be flexible – being a creative artist is a marathon, not a sprint. There is no road map. In fact, the harder you try and plan, the more the plan evades you. Keep honing new skills, meeting new people, and being curious about many facets of creative expression.
Be a mentor – send the ladder back down after you’ve climbed it; teaching and guiding others only makes you sharper and more inquisitive about your own craft.
If you knew you only had a decade of life left, how would you spend that decade?
I think about this a lot now. Both of my parents died before they expected to. I watched them grapple with their own regrets while mourning lost time. It really puts a lot into perspective! I don’t even mean that I think about death in a macabre way, or a “Final Destination” way — I just think about it a lot more than I used to.
One thing I realized, as silly as it sounds, is that I want to laugh a lot. I want to laugh hard. I want to laugh so hard that I think I might puke. So, I am consciously trying to fill my life with laughter. I teach improv, and when I do, I am a generous laugher. It’s infectious. It’s instructive! No one learns how to be funny in front of a teacher who won’t laugh like a crowd laughs! So, I laugh. I perform. I try to only perform with people who inspire joy and make me giggle. I see shows. I’ll see anything! And I make sure that I surround myself with friends who lift my spirits and crack me up. I’m aware it sounds really juvenile… but I spent a few years there wondering if I’d ever truly feel weightless and giddy and giggly ever again. Now that I’m back here, I’m protective over it. I want to keep laughing.
Oh, and know all the places where your parents bank or have credit cards. Have them write it down! You’ll thank me someday!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.whatdoesaligordondo.com
- Instagram: @msalicenutting
Image Credits
Images at Corner Bookstore NYC – Allison Stock
Studio images – Grace Stockdale
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