Story & Lesson Highlights with Julee Balko of Sammamish

Julee Balko shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.

Julee, it’s always a pleasure to learn from you and your journey. Let’s start with a bit of a warmup: What is something outside of work that is bringing you joy lately?
When I tell someone that my day job is a writer, and they ask what I do for fun, and I answer, “Write books!” I often get the sad face of silence. I then reassure them that books are different than my job. It’s absolute creative freedom. I love getting lost in the story and characters. It’s one big, beautiful puzzle, and every book makes me feel more connected to the world around me. When I’m writing books, I notice the small details of life. The moments that make us human and make us feel. I’m working on my fourth book now. And I can’t wait to see how it helps me see life in a whole new way.

Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I’m an author who loves writing novels with complicated characters. My debut novel, The Things We Keep, took on grief, secrets, and family dysfunction. The Me List, my second novel, is full of snark and heart and brings to life an unlikely friendship between neighbors. My new book, which comes out this May, is called Square Hearts. It is close to my heart because it represents a new kind of Women’s Fiction story with romance. The kind where the characters are older. The kind where the woman falls back in love with herself, too.

Okay, so here’s a deep one: What breaks the bonds between people—and what restores them?
I love this question because broken bonds and relationships are at the heart of all my books, because it’s also at the heart of life. So many of us spend our lives figuring out how to love someone better, be a better mother, partner, or friend, or just how to be kinder to ourselves. But the truth is, what breaks bonds and what repairs them? The person who is looking back at you in the mirror. Being honest with yourself about what’s creating the crack is hard.

In my last book, The Me List, there was so much judgment between the two neighbors in the book. And yet, they really didn’t know each other at all. Once they let down their guards and past baggage, they had much more in common than they could have imagined. In my newest book, Square Hearts (which comes out this May), the mother is trying desperately to reconnect with her neurodivergent daughter. But what’s holding her back? She’s trying so hard to pretend there’s nothing wrong that when she does admit her sadness and pain, that truth is what restores their bond.

When did you stop hiding your pain and start using it as power?
My mother died the first year I became a mother myself. It was strange to be enjoying the first growing months of my baby while simultaneously caring for my mother on her deathbed. It was not an experience I could share with my friends. Their mothers were grandmothers who would live to see their kids grow. I knew I had only a few months left with my mother.

This strange juxtaposition of life and death left me crying on the way to Mommy and Me music class. I would leave a morning of blood and vomit, to go smile and laugh as my baby and I shook a tambourine. But in that drive between, I would break down. One, because my child couldn’t see my eyes. Two, because my mother couldn’t either. By the time I reached class, I’d be ready to embrace the music.

After she passed away, I found grief to be very lonely. It was such a complicated journey that I was surprised I had never seen it adequately portrayed in a novel. Often, characters die, and you get a page or two, and the family moves on. Whereas I felt very stuck. And then I found out I was having twins, and my grief came back harder than ever. Because what makes you miss your mother more than two babies? So, I started writing my first book during nap time. It took me over six years to write. But I knew I had to take my pain and turn it into something that could help other people. If I could write a book that used grief as a theme, then any reader going through it may not feel as alone. And that’s how my first book, The Things We Keep, was born.

I think our readers would appreciate hearing more about your values and what you think matters in life and career, etc. So our next question is along those lines. Is the public version of you the real you?
Awkward yet confident. Creative yet open-minded. I believe in embracing who you are and not hiding it. Even if you are a weird animal-loving radish-eating writer who doesn’t wear make-up but often wears two wet buns because she hates to write when her hair touches her neck. Yep, that’s me. And as a mother to three girls, I proudly show them how to own who they are and appreciate how they are different. It’s why my newest book, Square Hearts, features a neurodivergent character. It took me a long time to realize my neurodivergent brain not only helped me see the world differently, but it also made me a better writer. I hope my kids can embrace their neurodivergence before I did, and the best way to lead the way is to live the most truthful version of myself, no matter where I am.

Okay, so before we go, let’s tackle one more area. What is the story you hope people tell about you when you’re gone?
The story I hope people tell when I’m gone isn’t important to me. However, the story my children tell—now that’s what matters most to me. That’s why I think of my three girls with every book I write, and the messages I wish to whisper to them when I am one day no longer here. My first book, The Things We Keep, is about how to handle grief. The Me List is about putting your own joy at the top of your list. And my newest book, Square Hearts, is to remind them that the most important love story is the one with yourself. And if they can feel my love through my books, then any reader can feel it, too.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.juleebalko.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juleebalko/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/julee-balko-a3a80a110/
• Twitter: https://x.com/misplacedcomma2
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100091462188154