We were lucky to catch up with Melissa Espey Mueller recently and have shared our conversation below.
Melissa, first a big thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and insights with us today. I’m sure many of our readers will benefit from your wisdom, and one of the areas where we think your insight might be most helpful is related to imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is holding so many people back from reaching their true and highest potential and so we’d love to hear about your journey and how you overcame imposter syndrome.
Imposter syndrome has a way of showing up when you care deeply about the work you do. For me, it often appeared when I stepped into new or bigger spaces, teaching future clinicians for Texas A&M, leading prenatal education at Baylor University Medical Center, or speaking to audiences as a doula, author, and educator. I’d find myself wondering, “Who am I to be here?”
Over time, I realized imposter syndrome usually surfaces at the edge of growth. Instead of seeing it as a signal that I don’t belong, I began to see it as evidence that I’m stretching into more meaningful work.
I’ve been the owner of North Dallas Doula Associates, the oldest and largest doula practice in Texas, for 26 years. I’m also the mother of five and a survivor of domestic violence. Those experiences have shaped my strength and compassion, they remind me every day that my presence and my perspective have value. I don’t have to be perfect; I just have to be real and present.
What truly helped me move beyond imposter feelings was reconnecting to my why. My work isn’t about proving myself, it’s about empowering others: families, students, and birth professionals. When I focus on service rather than self-doubt, confidence follows naturally.
I’ve also learned to speak my fears out loud with trusted colleagues and mentors. The moment we name those insecurities, they lose much of their power. Confidence, for me, isn’t the absence of self-doubt, it’s the decision to keep showing up, grounded in purpose and authenticity.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
My journey into birth work began almost three decades ago with a deep calling to support women and families through one of the most transformative experiences of their lives. I am the founder and owner of North Dallas Doula Associates, a well known & highly respected practice, that serves thousands of DFW families yearly . What started as a small collective of passionate doulas has grown into a thriving practice known for compassionate, evidence-based, family-centered care.
Today, I serve as the Director of Prenatal Education at Baylor University Medical Center in Dallas, BSW McKinney, & Medical City Las Colinas, where I oversee childbirth education programs designed to empower families with knowledge, confidence, and a sense of calm as they prepare for birth and parenthood. I also work as a gynecologic teaching associate for Texas A&M University, training medical students in trauma-informed care and dignified compassionate patient communication skills that are absolutely essential in women’s health.
Beyond my clinical and educational work, I’m a birth doula, speaker, author, and childbirth educator dedicated to changing the conversation around birth. I believe birth is not just a medical event, but a profound life experience that shapes families for generations. As a mother of five and a survivor of domestic violence, I bring a deeply personal understanding of strength, resilience, and healing to everything I do. My story reminds me daily that our challenges can become our greatest sources of empathy and purpose.
What excites me most right now is expanding access to quality prenatal education and doula support. We’re growing our training and mentorship programs for new doulas, with a focus on inclusivity, trauma-informed care, and professional excellence. I’m also developing new educational resources and workshops for families and healthcare professionals, bridging the gap between medical knowledge and emotional preparation.
My goal, and truly, my passion is to help every family feel seen, supported, and empowered through the birth experience. I want people to know that birth work is heart work. When we combine compassion with education, we change outcomes and lives forever.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
When I look back over the past 26 years, the three qualities that have been most impactful in my journey are empathy, adaptability, and lifelong learning. Each has shaped not only my career, but also who I am as a mother, survivor, and educator. 1. Empathy – Everything I do begins with listening and connection. Whether I’m supporting a birthing family, training doulas, or teaching medical students, empathy allows me to see the person in front of me, not just the role they play or the situation they’re in. My advice for those starting out is to listen more than you speak. Sit with people’s stories. Let them change you. Empathy isn’t something you master; it’s something you practice daily.
2. Adaptability – Birth work and education are ever changing & constantly evolving. Over the decades, I’ve learned that flexibility is essential. Every family, every student, every labor looks different. When things don’t go as planned (and they rarely do), the ability to adjust with calm and confidence makes all the difference. For those early in their journey: don’t be afraid of change. Growth happens when you stay open, curious, and willing to evolve.
3. Lifelong Learning – I’ve always believed that the best educators are also eternal students. Staying current in research, deepening cultural awareness, and embracing new perspectives keep the work vibrant and relevant. For anyone beginning their path, my advice is to invest in your education , both formal and informal. Read, attend workshops, seek mentors, and never assume you’ve “arrived.” True expertise grows from humility and the willingness to keep learning.
These three qualities; empathy, adaptability, and lifelong learning have not only sustained my career but also anchored my purpose. They remind me that success in this work isn’t about titles or achievements; it’s about showing up every day with heart, curiosity, and a commitment to making a difference, one family or one student at a time.
Alright, so before we go we want to ask you to take a moment to reflect and share what you think you would do if you somehow knew you only had a decade of life left?
If I only had a decade left, I would spend it in gratitude and purpose, giving back to this work and the people who have shaped my life.
I’d pour my heart into mentoring the next generation of doulas, childbirth educators, and healthcare professionals. Especially those who believe, as I do, that birth is not just a medical event but a profoundly human one. I’d share everything I’ve learned about compassion, resilience, and the sacredness of this work so that others could carry it forward long after I’m gone.
I’d also write more, capturing the wisdom, stories, and lessons gathered from decades beside birthing families. Writing has always been a way for me to reflect, to give thanks, and to leave something lasting for those who come after us.
Personally, I’d spend that decade surrounded by the people I love, my five children, my grandchildren, my community. I’d slow down enough to feel grateful every single day: for the laughter in my home, the warmth of connection, and the privilege of witnessing life begin.
As a survivor of domestic violence, I carry deep gratitude for the second chances life has given me, for the ability to heal, to thrive, and to help others find their own strength. Gratitude has been my compass, my north star (hence the name North DallasDoulas); it’s what turns struggle into purpose and work into calling.
In those final years, I’d dedicate myself to building something that outlasts me expanding access to education and doula support so that every birthing person, no matter their background, feels safe, seen, informed, and supported.
If I had only a decade left, I’d spend it giving thanks for the lives I’ve touched, the lessons I’ve learned, and the incredible privilege of walking beside others during life’s most sacred beginnings.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.northdallasdoulas.com
- Instagram: northdallasdoulas
- Facebook: North Dallas Doula Associates
Image Credits
Dani Adams-Barry Photography, Diana Rich Photography<br>
