Julie Fazooli shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.
Julie, so good to connect and we’re excited to share your story and insights with our audience. There’s a ton to learn from your story, but let’s start with a warm up before we get into the heart of the interview. What makes you lose track of time—and find yourself again?
I definitely have three major things that derail any sense of needing to glance up at a clock because I become so hyperfocused on them; creating – in terms of producing artwork, programming music or writing fiction, the act of daily movement to temper my restlessness – whether it’s taking long walks in both urban and nature environments, yoga, hiking, skateboarding, dancing, and lastly, when I dive into a truly great story that has a captivating plot line and fascinating characters. If I don’t look up every once in a while from these three things, I could have an entire day just melt away from me – and yet, they nourish my heart, mind and soul so much, I couldn’t live without incorporating even just a fraction of a moment to each of these, to get me through the day.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I’m a multi-faceted freelance creative who works in a myriad of fields and industries. Currently, I’ve been DJing a lot more than in previous years, so that’s turning into my primary source of work, for various types of events and nightclubs, fashion shows, private parties, and I’m super stoked to start teaching youth programs again in the near future, which is in the planning stages these days. It’s crazy to think I’m heading into 30 years of DJing soon – I never thought I’d be out here this long, but creating a fun atmosphere for people to feel joyful and connected is really rewarding.
I also run events as a Lead Coordinator, mainly under the Punk Rock Flea Market umbrella of events that are now found coast to coast across North America. I’m also in charge of an Arts Week Festival, as the liaison for creatives of all disciplines, managing over 100 events over 10 days – it’s been a rewarding journey to work with others and glean inspiration, network with the community and offer the city a wealth of cultural programming.
I’ve also been a professional graphic designer for 15 years, and an illustrative artist for over a decade. After many years of tinkering around aimlessly with my own personal art pieces, I have truly found a solid voice for myself through this work over this period of time. As a photographer, I’ve also been capturing candids at events, and providing services for client’s businesses for over 25 years, and still enjoy finding that one “perfect moment” to capture, it’s like finding a little diamond in a pile of rubble, every time, it makes my heart squeal with excitement.
I’ve taken a step back from the TV and Film industry over the past decade, working in various positions across the spectrum, but am considering making my way back – honestly, leaving the unions behind has been a relief and now that I’m not under as much stress, I’d like to continue to work with indie productions, as the passion for creating in those atmospheres far outweighs the pressure of the corporate world that tends to strip me of that enthusiasm.
Having separated myself from the confines of a 9 to 5 job has been both rewarding and terrifying, but overall, the best choice I’ve made for myself – as a neurodivergent person, I feel my creativity needs to flow effortlessly in whatever direction the day holds, so I really enjoy having something different to do every day. Not all of us are built for the rat race – but that’s what’s necessary in an age of trends and conformity. We can’t all fit neatly into the box we’re prescribed, or this world would feel really flat and uninspired.
Appreciate your sharing that. Let’s talk about your life, growing up and some of topics and learnings around that. Who were you before the world told you who you had to be?
Oof, what a question! First off – no one gets to tell me what to do or how to be, haha! I think though, that when I started out early in my career, when I was working in corporate national broadcasting and for Hollywood production, I did want to fit into a certain mold or specific direction, I wanted to climb the ladder, and my appetite for advancement was voracious, even at the risk of losing my own creativity due to exhaustion and stress. I just didn’t have enough hours in the day to do it all, and the focus on creating for someone else to profit from, was slowly extinguishing my spark over time. As an eager overachiever, I was hellbent on ticking off all the boxes so I could move up to the next level and be the favourite go-to that could handle everything. Thing is, it completely tore me to shreds – I was giving more of myself to the job than I had time to fill my own cup at the end of the day and I was disregulated, unbalanced, and swerving into negative behavioural patterns to cope with the stress. My physical and mental health were in the gutter.
It’s funny, I look back on that tired little young self now and wonder how I survived it. It took a massive company-wide layoff and a lack of available jobs for me to switch gears and discover that I was actually meant for something else. I needed to stop everything, lose everything to find myself again and build a new self up. Sometimes those hard hitting losses that feel like the end of the world, just signal a death of an old version of you to make room for a new one – that fresh start was everything I needed to clear out the problems and solve the deficiencies and frustrations that I was experiencing in my life.
What did suffering teach you that success never could?
Honestly, I’ve learned a lot more about myself and the truth of my character when confronted with suffering than I ever could have with facing success. I feel like whenever I’ve managed to have a big win, there’s an emptiness left afterwards, like, “what do I do now that that’s done?” and I’m left to quickly fill that space with another big goal to compensate for the adrenaline crash that inevitably follows. Success to me feels like a dopamine hit that you’re endlessly chasing for a bigger high than the previous time to feel some sense of worthiness. Wins are great, and I need them to progress, but it isn’t the main goal anymore – I’d rather build up my ability to adapt and overcome these days, it’s the only way I’ll survive (especially in this socio-political climate).
When it comes to failure or suffering, it has always shown me that I have an incredible amount of strength and resilience that I keep forgetting is always there – you have to push harder to dig yourself out of a hole, and that practice of climbing back up gives me a greater sense of courage, and the ability to overcome anything becomes palpable – a reality I can achieve. I feel like whenever I’ve been met with suffering, I’ve also found a lot of self-compassion and nurturing that I would have otherwise neglected – small acts of kindness to myself, the ability to soothe myself and give myself grace in the face of adversity grows, and spills back into my daily routines. I grow bigger with every hurdle I overcome. The more I flex my skills in managing the worst aspects of life, the more effortless it is to deal with struggles in the future. So bring it on – let’s Hulk it out.
I think our readers would appreciate hearing more about your values and what you think matters in life and career, etc. So our next question is along those lines. What are the biggest lies your industry tells itself?
In the Arts & Entertainment world, so many people believe this weird lofty dreamy idea of this industry being the road to a glamor-filled and exciting lifestyle that will land you bags of riches and fame if you keep steamrolling over people to the top and achieve success. It couldn’t be farther from the truth – most of the environments I’ve worked in over my lifetime have shown me the cracks in the veneer. Everything is staged and faked out with camera angles, lighting, post-touch ups to create the perfect vision for whatever is to be displayed to the public. We filter out all the gross, tedious and messy parts to deliver this polished and refined version that can never exist in real life. Perfection becomes illusion – they want to sell you an idealized version that is unattainable to keep your expectations destructible, always wanting something more. I always say, entertainment people live like circus folk – you get to see the glorious, scintillating spectacle, the beautiful people and exciting acts – but in reality, we’re all just burning out, seeking scraps of sustenance in our scuffed up trailers behind the scenes when the show’s done – and then it’s off to the next one. That shiny patina gets real dark when the lights turn off. Everyone thinks you live in this magical sparkly cloud of a unicorn fart, but it still stinks.
Most of us are working in sweatpants, looking dishevelled behind the scenes, covered in dust and dirt from the process, there’s a lot of frustration and back-breaking work that wears you down, and it takes a massive toll on your mental health. You always have to hide the rough parts from view. People take advantage of you in a myriad of ways – especially financially, and come at you from all angles to drain every ounce for themselves. You need to have a tough skin to get over the negativity that’s also thrown in your direction, you have to be able to shrug off the critics, the opportunists, the fakes. Creativity comes at a hefty price – if you’re not feeding yourself as much as you’re putting out for others, if you’re not ignoring the naysayers, or the people trying to keep you small out of spiteful jealousy, it is a world that can eat you alive – if you don’t starve in it first.
Thank you so much for all of your openness so far. Maybe we can close with a future oriented question. What light inside you have you been dimming?
Lately, I’ve felt the need to speak out less on social injustice and feminism for fear of retribution or attack, and as a result, I’ve been really slacking on getting back on track with my writing which helps me work out those feelings of frustration – it’s something I currently have trouble finding time for but the one thing that I was truly meant to focus on in this lifetime and feels integral to the maintenance of my mental health and expression. I can feel that burning sense of needing to quiet things down to fully engross myself in the telling of stories to make sense of what’s happening in the world, maybe get back into making my own films, as it’s been a VERY long time since I produced any of my own. It felt so effortless as a youth to express my ideas through characters and crazy situations, to reconcile the state of the world at any given time, and it’s a part of me that feels like it’s dying, especially if I don’t find moments throughout the day to get something – anything – down on paper. I have SO many ideas for stories, notebooks full of point form notes, I just never get a chance to sit down and flesh them out. This is something that needs to be reignited that I feel would bring me a new sense of life and I need to carve out time for it and push through the personal blockade that’s been growing inside me for too long. I feel like sometimes I stop myself from doing it, or self-sabotage with other distractions, because I’m afraid of how others will receive my words and thoughts. I’ve been met with a lot of resistance from people I don’t align with over the years that has been difficult to navigate and causes a lot of frustration. It’s time to ignore those feelings and insecurities and get that spark re-lit. It doesn’t matter if a few people don’t agree, because there’s so many more that need that voice to ring loudly, so they can feel that they can identify and be heard too, and inspire them to create the change we need to see in this world if we are to survive, together.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.fazooli.com
- Instagram: @abominableink
Image Credits
Julie Fazooli
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
