Crystal Fielder shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.
Crystal, so good to connect and we’re excited to share your story and insights with our audience. There’s a ton to learn from your story, but let’s start with a warm up before we get into the heart of the interview. What is something outside of work that is bringing you joy lately?
Hands down, my children!! I recently gave birth at the start of this year. I am now a Mother of 3 beautiful children (although my oldest is a young adult now). This journey has been a true shift in my thought process and has definitely been the most amazing experience. Now when you see me outside don’t judge me because I am definitely looking like Spongebob’s Mom right now *laughs* But, I’m experiencing the joys and stresses of postpartum and the beauty of caring for a new baby again, but also grieving the fact that my middle child isn’t a baby anymore and my oldest is of legal age. I’ve been experiencing all the emotions that come with starting over but also letting go. It’s brought me so much joy looking at all 3 of my children in the transitions of life that they’re all in. Knowing I can’t keep them at any stage while learning to enjoy and embrace each moment of growth with them. I am also recognizing the changes I’m going through raising each of them differently based on the stages of life they’re in right now. Gratitude could not even begin to describe my feelings. It’s an absolute honor being their Mother!
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
My name is Crystal. I am a Motivational Speaker, certified Life Coach, Maternal Support Practitioner (full spectrum), Childbirth Educator, Sex Therapist (nonclinical), and Trauma-Informed Coach. I am the creator of #CrystalsCounsel, where I leave nuggets of wisdom to my readers and followers. Crystal’s Counsel was created by way of my transparency, and I decided to take a small piece of my life to social media to talk about it. It went from me being transparent as a way to encourage and free myself, to women and men coming to me letting me know that my story helped them get through something they were going through. When I realized my words were having a positive impact, I just took my name and created #CrystalsCounsel.
Being in the position to encourage others has always been a true calling and passion of mine, so I’m blessed to have been doing Crystal’s Counsel for 10 years now. I’ve been in the holistic field for 16 years, learning and growing since I am a woman who lives with sickle cell disease. I wanted others to see and know you can overcome anything. In that, brewed a drive in me specifically for women. For us to know who we are and how great we truly are. I understand there’s been a shift in times where relationships are now focusing on “what a woman brings to the table,” but even in those conversations I strive to let women know we are valuable, always.
Almost 5 years ago, due to my own traumatic experience with birth, I shifted in my motivational speaking to wanting to be a voice and advocate for pregnant women in birth spaces, especially Black women, seeing that we are at the greatest risk of death and not being heard when we are in those atmospheres. I left corporate and got into birth-work full-time, got my certifications, and became the owner of Oshun Wombs, which is a birth and postpartum service offered to pregnant and/or postpartum families. I’ve been able to combine my motivational speaking and birth work together to bring about change and properly educate families in general on our rights and just holistic health and wellness overall.
Being in this field with a college background in legal studies, I realized just how much the majority of us are unaware of our legal rights in and out of the birth space. This opened a gateway for me to be with an amazing team called The Mighty CEU to help those who are wanting to get a deeper insight into our legal rights, gaining an understanding in consumer law, and utilize these laws to advocate for yourself in the courtroom as a pro se litigant or in the hospital room advocating for your birth rights, giving you the best birth experience you deserve.
Lastly, I received my certification as a sex therapist and a trauma-informed coach, which opens up a broader audience and allows me to give specific coaching to those in need in different spaces. This allows me to combine my talents and education together or target one area if needed to teach, advocate, or give wisdom. So, needless to say, I’ve been a busy woman outside of being a wife and mother, as you can see. *laughs*
Okay, so here’s a deep one: What’s a moment that really shaped how you see the world?
I think my childhood growing up in Toronto, Canada, really helped mold my view on the world. I was a PK (preacher’s kid/pastor’s kid), and my life on the outside seemed grand, but behind closed doors it was sticky. I was exposed to things at a young age by way of my stepfather and just other pastors and bishops that I should not have seen. Honor was placed with those whom others held high esteem for, but when they weren’t in the public eye, they lived a very different life. Or even being a part of the first family and the constant pressure for perfection that was placed on me as a little girl from older church members. They would tell me that I had to set the example for the youth at the church because of who my parents were. It was pure nonsense then, and I always rebelled against the words and thoughts of those things because I was a child, just like their children were. In no way should I be responsible or accountable for my peers in setting any kind of example. But those situations and levels of exposure that I had in that lifestyle showed me early on how life can be. The smoke and mirrors that people in general can place to the world. The obsessions others had with wanting to be close to our family and the betrayal that can came with it. The lifestyle of being in the public eye, even down to the slight fame with the media, being on TV, etc., comes with a cost if it’s not handled correctly. One day I’ll share my childhood story in detail because it was a time.
What did suffering teach you that success never could?
Suffering showed me my strength and resilience even when I said to myself that I couldn’t. I found myself continuing on and gaining the tenacity to keep going. No matter how broken I’ve been, even to the point of death in many forms, I’m not speaking on just physical death (although I have come close to that before as well). I think my strength and resilience rest in my faith. My faith in knowing that as long as I am alive, that means I’ve got to keep going, not only for me but for my children. I have stood against things I know others would have crumbled on, and I know that can sound cliché in the times we are in now because everyone is dealing with something heavy. But when your life success has been built on the struggles that have forced you to create those opportunities for yourself, you can stand with confidence in knowing the platforms of success weren’t built on anyone else’s back but your own. To know you’re not fighting to be on a platform that wasn’t designed for you but you’ve created your own platform authentically, that means something because nobody can take that from you. It’s an environment, an atmosphere where your family can feel safe and rest in, and they can learn from. Suffering created a legacy that my children and great-grandchildren to come can eat off of, that they can dwell in, and cultivate things to continue the bloodline. Success could never teach me that. But what I will say is suffering and success are like the negative and positive charge to a battery; both are necessary!!
I think our readers would appreciate hearing more about your values and what you think matters in life and career, etc. So our next question is along those lines. What’s a belief or project you’re committed to, no matter how long it takes?
I am committed to helping open the eyes of those who desire better for themselves. Breaking away from a system that was designed to keep us bound, hurt, and sick (emotionally, physically, and spiritually). Understanding that life is different once you decide to trust yourself and come off this hamster wheel we’ve been brainwashed to believe is truth. I’m committed to being a true representation of whatever God has purposed for me to be. I’ve been that and will forever be that; it’s my superpower!
Okay, we’ve made it essentially to the end. One last question before you go. What do you understand deeply that most people don’t?
Time is our greatest illusion. We force ourselves to age quickly not because of the days that go by but because of the habits we’ve created in society and in our homes. I understand that it’s hard to see paths in a dark room, so it’s easy to panic. But when you truly get that time is the greatest illusion invented, now you can slow down and embrace your present. I mentioned earlier that I know with my children I cannot hold them in the stages of life they’re in, so I embrace these moments with them. That’s because even in their stages of growth, time can stand still for you to enjoy the present moment. I get to look in their eyes, see them smiling, hug and kiss them, and create memories that they’ll forever remember and discuss when they become adults. For my oldest, I get to watch her become a young woman while remembering the times I assisted with covering her soul when she was 100% dependent on me. The ways I get to reflect on her youth and see how the works of my parenting have helped shape her. For my 2 youngest, I get to watch them grow up and see the innocence their eyes hold. The laughter and silly nature, the child mentality that keeps me young. I get to take a picture of their smiles in my heart and hold onto their little voices while I hear them call my name. The sweet smell of parenting. Time is the greatest illusion and yet the biggest thing we take for granted.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.oshunwombs.com
- Instagram: @ImCrystalE
- Facebook: Crystal Fielder
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