We recently connected with Ren Oberhill and have shared our conversation below.
Ren, we’re thrilled to have you sharing your thoughts and lessons with our community. So, for folks who are at a stage in their life or career where they are trying to be more resilient, can you share where you get your resilience from?
Resilience is fascinating to me. It really seems to be about getting back up when we are faced with struggle, challenges, trauma, illness, loss. I have led the type of life where all of those things were present – from discovering how unjust our systems are to being diagnosed with Autoimmune Disorders, to losing parents and other loved ones, I have not been a stranger to adversity. I know I am far from alone there and hold compassion for people who are going through similar things. My resilience started with a decision to look inside instead of trying to change or fix systems and convince other people that my perspective was ‘right.’ That took some time because my perspective felt like it was about justice, equity and care for all beings. I wanted to be heard and understood, which is another universal human desire. We wish to belong, to connect and to be respected for who we are and our lived experience. I kept running into brick walls within our systems and finally was so exhausted that I decided to surrender instead of continue fighting. I did not give up, and there is a distinct difference here. I simply let go of the idea that the world should be as I want it to be. I had to learn to stand in my values without holding onto bitterness and resentment. I turned to spiritual practices that felt gentle. I let myself off of the hook, meaning that I no longer held myself responsible for everyone around me, and stopped sacrificing my wellbeing for others. I slowed down a lot, allowing myself some space for contemplation and reflection. Looking inside became a process of viewing my life with curiosity, “what did that teach me?” I would ask. Eventually I began to consider the idea that life here on earth is like a learning laboratory. There are situations presented to us and we must decide who we are in these situations. Are we able to feel our emotions without letting them control our behavior? Can we offer ourselves love and support, even when things aren’t going our way? I began the process of reclaiming my peace, day by day. I became kinder to myself and was able to let go of things I could not control. The amazing part of my story is that things started to shift in my outer world as I shifted my inner one. I came home to the idea that we are here on earth not to suffer, but to embark upon self discovery, growth and adventure. We don’t have to allow our thoughts and emotions to shift us out of balance. We can walk peacefully inside of ourselves and with our neighbors. This way of living has shifted everything about how I live, love and work. I feel grateful that my gentleness has actually made me stronger, particularly during a time in which the future feels so uncertain. So for me, resilience comes with my daily spiritual practices, living my values, and letting go of what doesn’t serve my peace. In this way, I can hold space for others without losing myself. I feel grounded now, and able to look at challenges as opportunities, instead of as potential tidal waves that could knock me down so hard that I can’t get back up again. And that changes everything.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
My business, 6 Ray Healing, is a composite of my years as a professional counselor working in Higher Education, my experience as a private practice therapist, and more recently, my journey as a spiritual mentor and teacher. I have close to 20 years of experience walking with others during uncertainty, life transitions, awakenings, challenges and successes. I recently created a system that honors the whole person and works to harmonize their minds, bodies and spirits. The system utilizes my therapeutic and intuitive techniques with the client’s energy, awareness and inner wisdom. I feel really excited about working with people on issues that can become illuminated and released. As a talk therapist I would work on issues with people for years, but through incorporating the human spirit and energy fields into the therapies, a longstanding issue can often be healed at the root with less struggle and confusion. I have seen successful progress in 4-6 sessions with my clients, which is inspiring to me. I am hopeful that this process can assist many people who have been trying to change and have done a lot of self work but have yet to find the key to unlocking their own self healing.
As a Reiki Master Teacher, I teach people a gentle way of living though connecting to the inner self and the Universal One Source. Reiki is a Japanese energy healing technique that eases anxiety and tension and promotes relaxation and healing. I cannot recall ever before feeling as peaceful as I do since learning Reiki. It has helped to promote my own healing and shift imbalances on multiple levels. Sharing Reiki with others feels joyful and I feel so fortunate to facilitate this gift. I also offer Reiki sessions for animals, which is a beautiful and gentle offering. A lot of people love animals and learning Animal Reiki is a gift to both the practitioner and the animals who receive energy. Doing the work of facilitating gentle yet powerful energy helps me to feel that I am of service during a time on earth when both people and animals alike can really use help with feeling balanced, grounded and loved. Clients often tell me that Reiki feels like a hug or like being wrapped in a warm blanket. Often they feel a release and then feel much lighter. I love to see them leaving with relaxed smiles and rejuvenated energy.
Hypnotherapy is another component of my business and I decided to get certified because I could see in my therapy sessions that it was often the subconscious mind that was running the show. Many people aren’t aware that their core beliefs become how they see the world. These beliefs feed our thoughts which create emotions and then affect our behaviors. I like that hypnosis is a state of being we are all in daily – it is the state of flow, or gentle relaxation. You may feel like you have lost track of time. Hypnosis happens during any repetitive behavior like showering, washing dishes or even driving. Your mind goes into a light, trancelike state, and that is hypnosis. Being able to access the knowledge of the subconscious mind instead of struggling in a loop with the conscious mind is what I love the most about hypnosis. And before you ask, no, I do not put people on stage or make them cluck like a chicken. And just so we are clear, the subconscious mind is always in charge during hypnosis, I am merely a guide asking questions, so the people who do cluck like chickens had to want to do it, otherwise they never would have clucked in the first place.
My offerings are built to empower people and animals to do their own healing using gentle yet powerful tools that are efficient and effective. My newest offerings include Reiki Workshops, Animal Reiki healing packages and classes, and the 6 Ray Healing System to heal a deep rooted issue at the root. The first step in the 6 Ray Healing System is to schedule an Intake and Consultation Session with me, similar to a therapy intake, in which we discuss your goals and my skills and see if we have a collaborative match. This first session helps to set the pace, the tone and the co-creation journey that is customized to your individual needs and experiences. I love mentoring work and that work is also evolving as I add components like Awakening Your Spiritual Gifts, AM/PM Spiritual Practices, Inner Child/Teen Healing, Relationship Balance and Conscious Communication, and connecting to your Divine Team. An intake is required before the mentoring program as well. This is designed to alleviate any confusion about time commitment and mutual goals. It is important for you to understand who you are inviting into your healing journey and I welcome that process to see if we are a good fit.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
I think I want to look at qualities because any one can develop skills and areas of knowledge in counseling, hypnotherapy and energy healing. If you feel drawn to those areas, try a workshop or have a conversation with someone who does that work and allow yourself to sit with how you may or may not enjoy learning more about the subject matter. We need all types of people in this work.
But qualities are important because we choose our own qualities through every word and action we take, day by day. If you are a guide for others, you will want to choose words and actions that align with your values, so you must know yourself well. Self awareness is the first quality that has been the most impactful one for me on my journey. I sit and evaluate my values often and ask myself if I am choosing words and actions that feel grounded in what matters to me. If I am not, I will adjust and I fortunately no longer beat myself up about it. We are human and we are going to be imperfect. So we can ask, “is this in alignment?” If yes, we continue. If no, we adjust. It can be simple.
The second quality that has been the most impactful on my journey is my discernment. Knowing myself and then trusting my self to feel into the question or the situation that is presented has shifted the way I work and make decisions. I used to look to others for validation with building my career and that led me to feel even more lost and confused. I don’t think I am alone in that feeling – I think it is very easy to look at folks on a surface level, or to view other people’s social media or brands as somehow “better than” what we have going. So we start to ask other people what we should do, what we should try, or we try to figure out how to be like them. Pretty soon we forget how to connect to our own bodies for wisdom and our intuition for knowing. Everyone has deep intuition and it’s a matter of remembering how to connect with it. Once you do that, decisions become easier and the outside noise quiets. I feel discernment is an essential skill for any entrepreneur to have, otherwise we are building a business for and by other people and not from our own unique gifts and point of view. The world needs all of us as authentic beings offering what we have in service.
The final quality that has made the most impact on my journey is confidence, and as I say this I am well aware that I am still building it. Confidence is the process of accepting that I am capable, competent and worthy of success. For many years I didn’t try the things I am trying now because I was comfortable and didn’t think I should be “ungrateful” for the life I had. I wasn’t trusting my desires. The very fact that I was dreaming up more efficient and effective ways to help people to self heal was an indicator that I could make that dream real. But instead, I would tell myself to stay in my lane and to feel good about what I was already doing. A turning point came for me when I almost drowned in a canoe accident and I finally thought, “I only have this one life so let’s see what happens if I start believing that I can do more.” I am finally looking at what I have built and thinking, “okay, yes, this feels right.” The confidence comes from believing that I am not better than anyone else, but that I have come home to the best version of me and that was all I had to do in order to live my dreams.
My best advice to you is never give your power away. Other people do not actually know you or what you need better than you do. It only seems that way, because there are people who have developed various skillsets or who have attained a level of success that they can point to so that they are looked upon as expert. But no one is as expert on you as you are. Remember who you are and listen to others with discernment, not worship.
Before we go, any advice you can share with people who are feeling overwhelmed?
I love this question! I have lots of helpful practices for feeling overwhelmed now. The first thing I do is to remember that everything is energy –my thoughts and emotions, too. Anything that is transient energy, or comes and goes, is not really me, so it will ebb and flow, much like a wave. I am the witness, or the person who observes the feeling of overwhelm. Remembering that is helpful and allows me not to get caught up in believing that my feelings have to mean something dire might happen. Then I can become curious about what the overwhelm might be trying to tell me. Most of the time the feeling of overwhelm means that I need to slow down and take some time for myself because I have taken on too much, or that I haven’t allowed myself to feel my feelings and process something. Similarly, as every feeling is energy, the principles that we use to move energy out of the body will apply here. Using movement, breath and sound are the easiest ways to move any energy out of our systems.
I love to walk in nature, among the trees in the forest. I listen to the sounds of the forest and allow myself to wander. Or maybe I will listen to music, often my Empowerment Playlist or Comfort Songs Playlist. I might let myself cry or just lay on the bed and let the music surround me and the room. Sometimes I will get up and dance instead –I love to shake overwhelm out of the body, it feels really good. Other days I might practice slow, steady movement with the breath and do a Qigong practice. Qigong immediately uplifts my spirit and there are specific practices that assist anxiety and overwhelm. I also really like active breathwork that uses my diaphragm, like pranayama. Breath of fire and shamanic breathing help me to feel more clear and connected. After using movement, breath or sound, I might make a list of the things that are swimming around in my mind and get it out on paper. I might organize it and then pick one thing to do after I feel more centered. I might also ask a friend for help with something on the list because it could be that I need some support.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://6rayhealing.com
- Instagram: https://instagram.com/6rayhealing
- Facebook: https://facebook.com/6rayhealing
- Youtube: https://youtube.com/@6rayhealing
- Other: https://TikTok.com/@6rayhealing
Image Credits
These are all my images.
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
