Meet Spencer A. Murray

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Spencer A. Murray. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Spencer A. below.

Hi Spencer A., really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?

My life has been a manifestation of an unfolding purpose. I often think that my purpose found me, In order for my purpose to be realized, I first had to find my Self. Many years ago, as I began to ask myself the hard questions, the answers inspired me to assist others, particularly boys and men, to find themselves, as well.

My years as a public-schools educator inspired me to become a spiritual teacher, in the attempt to help people dig deeper into their lives to find peace and self-worth. As I navigated relationships and the opportunities that they bring, I was moved into a space where I studied, interrogated, and investigated the roots of men’s and women’s perceptions of one another. I wanted to understand where those perceptions came from and how those perceptions had the potential to increase conflict and cause harm in gendered relations. As I immersed myself in feminist literature, the lens in which I viewed relationships began to expand, and I began to discover how the lens that many men are trained to see through, does immense harm to women and all those who exist outside accepted norms of manhood and identity.

Today, as a conflict transformation and domestic violence educator, restorative justice practitioner, and spiritual teacher, I embrace my full humanity by helping people to embrace theirs, regardless of where they are on the journey.

This is my purpose. And it becomes clearer with each connection, starting with the connection to my authentic self.

Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?

I will always consider myself to be a teacher, before anything else.

I, along with my partner, Erica Parks Murray, recently co-founded the nonprofit NO HARM (National Organization for Healing and Redefining Manhood), of which I’m the Executive Director.
Most of our work is situated in the Atlanta area, where I educate, bring awareness, and create spaces for men to return to wholeness, in the interest of eliminating harm towards themselves, women, and the community. In the interest of having a national and global impact, I’ve had the fortune to conduct harm reduction trainings for the domestic violence council in Utah, as well as partner with the Center on Violence and Recovery in New York to create more spaces for restorative justice in places where intimate harm has occurred.

I am a Restorative Justice practitioner with the Georgia Justice Project in Atlanta, GA., where I create opportunities for healing and restoration for those who have experienced harm and those that have caused harm. Through focused and survivor-centered dialogues, I facilitate the process through which harm can be repaired, and relationships can be restored, to the best extent possible.

I am also an Adjunct Professor at Emory University, where I teach courses in Conflict Transformation. These courses help students to see conflict as life-giving opportunities, rather than something to avoid. Together, we explore skills and processes to increase peace and bring about individual and collective transformation.

Writing is a passion that I can totally lose myself in. After my studies in Conflict Transformation concluded at New York Theological Seminary, I wrote a book based on my dissertation – Conspiracy of Silence: Religious and Patriarchal Roots of Violence Towards Women. I am currently writing my second book based on a vulnerable poem I wrote about my transformative experiences. The poem is titled A Journey to Wholeness. The book is currently untitled.

Erica and I are in the process of filming a short piece that tells the story of our relationship and how it led to the birth of NO HARM. Exciting!!:) We have a story for the world.:)

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

As I look back, curiosity was the engine behind all of my searching. I was curious about why I thought the way I did, why I behaved the way I did, and how I was programmed to show up in ways that didn’t align with my full humanity and deepest desires.

The ability to surrender was also key to my transformation. I had to be become completely empty – willing to unlearn all that I have learned, so I could construct a new ME.

Vulnerability is something that I continually embrace. The practice of vulnerability fuels my liberation and ensures that I’m not held hostage by the old Spence.

My advice to people is to be intentional about unplugging from the world and create spaces of solitude that will allow them to embrace and amplify the 3 qualities above,

Okay, so before we go, is there anyone you’d like to shoutout for the role they’ve played in helping you develop the essential skills or overcome challenges along the way?

This is an easy answer.

My partner, Erica Parks Murray, is currently the most impactful person in my life. To be aware of that is a testament to the love that she shows me every day – a love that awakens my sensitivities. I would not have the surety to overcome obstacles, develop myself, or be successful without the container of divine love that Erica exudes and provides.

What I know is that intimate relationships provide a mirror by which people can see themselves in a deeper and more profound way. The courageous and brave way in which Erica shows up in our relationship is a constant reminder of the love that has always existed in me. In previous iterations of my life, fear prevented me from being vulnerable enough to let that love show up and shine. I didn’t give myself permission. Her love tears down my protective walls, softens my heart, and affirms my wholeness. The space that she sets helps to embolden my purpose and ignites my passion to serve humanity the way I do.

Truly, Love soothes; Love heals; and Love transforms. Erica’s love is the rich soil from which I continue to bloom and know that all things are possible.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://noharmlife.org
• Instagram: spencer_a_murray
• Facebook: Spencer A. Murray
• Linkedin: Spencer A. Murray, DMin
• Other: Conspiracy of Silence: Religious and Patriarchal Roots of Violence Towards Women

Image Credits

Photo Credit: Southern Center for Human Rights (pic w/ me and men in aa circle)

Photo Credit: SASHA Center (WDIV Local 4 News pic)