We recently had the chance to connect with Dereka Ross and have shared our conversation below.
Dereka, it’s always a pleasure to learn from you and your journey. Let’s start with a bit of a warmup: What’s more important to you—intelligence, energy, or integrity?
This question is pertinent because all of these components are important. However, integrity is most notable because it introduces a person’s character. I feel like intelligence is something that can be built on and energy is also something that can be better understood. But, integrity is one of those things impacts people the most. It is the thing that people will remember you by. It is core to a person’s identity.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I am a licensed mental health therapist, author, poet and mother. My goal in life is to help others be free in their self-identity. I achieve this by using therapeutic tools with spiritual integration. I have practiced therapy for 7 years and most of my clients are BIPOC. It has been a joy incorporating critical race theory to the modalities I currently use. My modalities range from person-centered, CBT, IFS, Somatic therapy and some EMDR.
It my free time, I enjoy spending meaningful time with friends or working out. I feel like working out requires a lot of mental agility and it has shaped the way I see myself and enriched my worldview.
I am also a mother and I enjoy loving on my son and showing him that the world is full of possibilities. I’m happy that I am able to show him that there’s no limit to the things he desires in life.
Amazing, so let’s take a moment to go back in time. Who saw you clearly before you could see yourself?
The first person to speak life into me was my high school English teacher. Mrs. Sperry helped me recognize that I was intelligent and that was pivotable to me. I never really saw myself as an intelligent person when I was in grade school because I was told at an early age that I was a dummy. It is because of Mrs. Sperry that I see myself better than I would have had I not met her.
Was there ever a time you almost gave up?
Yes, I almost gave up at the age of 27. It’s hard to believe that it was nearly 20 years ago that I attempted to take my life. I was in an existential battle with myself and my sexual identity. It was then that I attempted suicide and had a miraculous experience that changed me forever. I’m so glad to be here on this earth every single day.
Next, maybe we can discuss some of your foundational philosophies and views? What would your closest friends say really matters to you?
Right now, I will say that I have a good group of friends. Most of my friends are very encouraging and affirming. That has been so helpful in my journey. I am also recovering over a former bestfriend breakup. I never knew how soul connected you could be to another human. However, I have a new bestie named Naty and she is one of the most consistent and loving souls I have in my life. I’m eternally grateful to God for that. I am also grateful to my partner, Selina. She taught me that a bestfriend can also be your lover and I’m moved that God would provide me with such a rare gift.
Okay, so before we go, let’s tackle one more area. What is the story you hope people tell about you when you’re gone?
I hope to leave my mark on the entire world. I want to be known and I want to help people know who they are too. If I were to have that experience, I’d feel like I lived out my purpose in life…
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