We recently connected with Mary Carlton and have shared our conversation below.
Mary, we’re thrilled to have you on our platform and we think there is so much folks can learn from you and your story. Something that matters deeply to us is living a life and leading a career filled with purpose and so let’s start by chatting about how you found your purpose.
For me, purpose started forming long before I had a name for it. When I was raising my children, my focus wasn’t on achievement or status. It was on helping them become good people. My hope was for them to be kind, helpful, thoughtful humans who could see the big picture and still show up for the day-by-day work of living.
When my daughter Grace died, everything I understood about myself and the world shattered. In the rebuilding, I realized something important: my experience feels singular because I’m living it from my own point of view, but it isn’t unique. Everyone is carrying something that shattered them on some level. Most people are doing their best with what they have.
That changed how I move through the world and how I work. My purpose now is rooted in compassion, perspective, and supporting others in ways that make their lives a little lighter. It guides how I lead, how I collaborate, and how I show up: with clarity, steadiness, and an understanding that we’re all navigating invisible challenges.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
Wearing Grief grew out of my personal experience with the death of my eldest daughter, Grace. It started as a small personal project – a way for me to process my pain and has become a place where people can land when life is too heavy: a mix of educational content, honest reflections, apparel, and support tools designed to help people feel less alone. I’m not offering a cure because grief doesn’t work that way. What I offer is clarity, compassion, and grounded resources for people trying to survive something that feels impossible.
What endears me to this work is the mix of practicality and humanity. Some days I’m creating tools that explain how grief actually works in the body and mind; other days I’m building community spaces like our Grief Café gatherings, where people can show up exactly as they are. And there’s also the creative side, which is how it started, designing apparel and visual pieces that let people express their grief in ways that feel honest and dignified.
Wearing Grief is expanding in a few important directions. I’m developing a grief resource hub, adding more in-depth educational tools, and building new offerings that blend emotional support with everyday usability. These are things people can lean on in real time, not just inspirational ideas on a good day. I’m also collaborating with local partners to host community gatherings during difficult parts of the year, because grief needs real-life connection and community, not just online words.
What I want readers to know is simple: Wearing Grief isn’t about resilience as a performance. It’s about creating room for people to be human while they endure the unimaginable. My goal is to build spaces, tools, and communities that make that survival a little more bearable, and remind people that they don’t have to navigate any of it alone.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
That’s difficult to answer cleanly, because grief is such a singular journey. Two people can lose the same person and still experience completely different grief, because we’re each mourning a unique relationship. That individuality shaped two of the qualities that have been most impactful in my own journey: the importance of community and the discipline of being honest with myself.
Community, to me, is essential. Not because it removes the pain, but because it reminds us that we aren’t alone in it. When we see others who are still struggling or even laughing again, it becomes a mirror that helps us understand our own experience without feeling shame for those thoughts or feelings. Community gives us permission to feel what we actually feel, not what we think we’re supposed to feel.
A second quality is a commitment to digging for honesty rather than performing grief in the ways society expects. There can be so much pressure to ‘move on,’ stay strong, or present some palatable version of our pain. Learning not to fall into that performance and instead staying curious about what is true for me has been crucial. That honesty has shaped how I support others as well; people don’t need scripts or timelines, they need space to tell the truth about what hurts. They need to feel heard.
My advice to anyone early in their journey is this: seek community that honors authenticity, and practice being honest with yourself even when it’s uncomfortable. Grief doesn’t reward performance; it asks for presence. And when you pair that presence with supportive community, you build the conditions for real healing and resilience.
How can folks who want to work with you connect?
Always — collaboration is an important part of my work, especially when it comes to creating spaces where people can gather in honest, supportive ways. I’m particularly interested in connecting with retreat facilitators, community organizers, and Indiana-based partners who are looking to bring grief education or compassionate space-holding into their events or communities.
I’m always happy to engage in or help create workshop sessions or gatherings. Anything that centers around authenticity, emotional steadiness, and real conversation about loss and grief and how that affects our entire experience. I’m drawn to partners who value creating environments where people can show up exactly as they are, without pressure to perform or minimize their experience.
If you’re hosting retreats, community programs, or local events and want to incorporate grief-informed discussion or grounded support, I’d love to collaborate. The best way to reach me is through my website, WearingGrief.com, I’m always open to thoughtful, community-centered partnerships, anywhere, but especially here in Indiana.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.wearinggrief.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wearinggrief/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wearinggrief/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mary-carlton-62766883/
- Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@wearinggrief
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
