Blue Stiley shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.
Blue, it’s always a pleasure to learn from you and your journey. Let’s start with a bit of a warmup: Have any recent moments made you laugh or feel proud?
Lately, I’ve been so proud watching my daughter excel at soccer — a sport my wife and I know absolutely nothing about (unless you count watching Ted Lasso as experience). My wife and I call moments like these “Parental Dividends.” They’re those unexpected payoffs when your kids do something incredible — not because you told them to, but because something you’ve modeled quietly rubbed off. Watching her thrive on her own, even in an arena totally foreign to us, is one of those moments that makes all the parenting effort feel so worth it.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I am a professional keynote speaker, podcast host, and author empowering leaders and teams to turn what matters most into reality. As the host of THE BLUE STILEY PODCAST, Navigating No & Beyond and author of The Sum of 4, I help leaders, individuals and organizations overcome rejection, fear, and self-doubt through actionable, experience-driven strategies. Blending humor, authenticity, and pop-culture storytelling, I deliver high-impact keynotes that inspire growth, build trust, strengthen relationships and drive lasting results. Based in Liberty Lake, Washington, I am known for delivering memorable, valuable, and referable content—while proudly embracing Darkside For Life™ and my inner love for Star Wars.
Okay, so here’s a deep one: Who saw you clearly before you could see yourself?
Being an 8-year-old boy with a unique name, I was picked on, beat up and bullied constantly. So my parents put me into a martial arts dojo, where I trained in Karate, Judo and Aikido and was surrounded by Senseis and Sempais who immediately saw potential in a scared little boy. They made me feel heard, seen, and valued like Brené Brown talks about, but most importantly they made me feel like I truly belonged. Over the next decade—and beyond—these mentors became some of the most influential people in my life. They saw my value and potential, pushed me beyond my limits, and consistently reminded me to never give up, follow my dreams, and always keep growing and learning. That experience taught me the power of mentorship, encouragement, and the impact of believing in someone before they fully believe in themselves.
Was there ever a time you almost gave up?
I almost threw in the towel after I turned in the first draft of my first book to an editor. When it came back, there was more red ink than black and white — it looked like a scene straight out of scene from CSI! To make things worse, the editor told me I wrote like a college student. I laughed and said, “That makes sense — the last paper I wrote was a 12-page essay on the history of Japan, and that one wasn’t great either.”
Still, I felt crushed. It was like someone had punched the air out of me. I wanted to quit.
But then I called a friend — someone on what I call my “Confidence Team.” He’s a New York Times bestselling author, and I knew he’d give it to me straight. He asked, “Do you want to be a writer or a wannabe writer?” I said, “A writer.” He replied, “Then take the feedback. If your editor doesn’t understand your message, your readers won’t either.”
That one conversation flipped everything for me. It reminded me that my story mattered — and that feedback isn’t failure, it’s fuel. So I went back, made the edits, and each time the pages came back with less red on them. Eventually, the book was finished, printed, and took off.
Looking back, I was this close to quitting. But having someone on my confidence team who believed in me made all the difference. It gave me the courage to grow — and the confidence to start my next book, Navigating No.
I think our readers would appreciate hearing more about your values and what you think matters in life and career, etc. So our next question is along those lines. What’s a belief or project you’re committed to, no matter how long it takes?
That there’s no single path to success, fulfillment, or purpose. I believe this so much that I wrote a book about how we all get to our goals differently. It explores how each person’s journey — with all its twists, challenges, setbacks, and victories — leads to their own version of achievement and growth.
At its core, my book, The Sum of 4 is built around the idea of Equifinality — the belief that there are multiple, even infinite, ways to reach the same goal. Your path may look nothing like someone else’s, and that’s okay. Some journeys take longer, cost more, or hurt more, but if the dream matters to you, there is a way forward.
This idea has served me both personally and professionally, and encouraged the thousands of individuals, leaders and organizations I have helped to embrace their unique process, trust their pace, and keep moving forward — because success isn’t about following the same route as others. It’s about finding your way to what matters most.
Okay, we’ve made it essentially to the end. One last question before you go. How do you know when you’re out of your depth?
As a motivational keynote speaker, people often ask if I ever get nervous standing in front of a thousand people. The answer is yes—but in a good way. My nerves don’t scare me; they excite me. I use them as fuel to get energized and connect with the audience. I’m not afraid because I know my material like the back of my hand. I love the Q&A sessions after my keynotes because they’re a chance to go deeper, to connect in real time.
It’s like asking a parent about their kids—they could talk for hours because they know the subject inside and out. But when you don’t know your material, that’s when fear creeps in. You start fumbling your words, become weak at the knees, second-guessing yourself, and letting doubt and fear take over.
That’s how I know when I’m out of my depth—when I’m suddenly the student instead of the expert. For example, when I deliver my keynote Darkside For Life™ at a Comic-Con or at Star Wars Celebration, I’m terrified to open Q&A. Why? Because those fans know everything about Star Wars and all the 80’s villains. In those moments, I’m reminded that being out of your depth isn’t failure—it’s growth. It’s an opportunity to make the keynote a more valuable, entertaining and memorable experience to the audience. And also, to learn, grow, actively listen, and expand your own universe or galaxy far, far away.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.bluestiley.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bluestiley/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/blue-stiley/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/blue.stiley
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@bluestiley
- Other: https://www.darksideforlife.com
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