An Inspired Chat with Ashes Bardole

We recently had the chance to connect with Ashes Bardole and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Ashes, thank you so much for taking time out of your busy day to share your story, experiences and insights with our readers. Let’s jump right in with an interesting one: What do you think others are secretly struggling with—but never say?
I think that as a culture many people are struggling with avoidance and a lack of feeling authentically in themselves. Of truly knowing themselves and their feelings on a deeper level. As someone who has also struggle with this and actively worked on it, I see so many symptoms of this avoidant behavior that has been cultivated under the guise of ‘capitalist hustle culture’ or ‘protecting your peace’. So often I see people who are scared to feel their own feelings, are hyper independent, emotionally unavailable/ too cool to care, not seeing the ways these behaviors are hurting themselves and the people around us. The internet has also done a good job and encouraging the avoidance in unusual ways. Creating an environment of competition and isolation, of tiktok therapists causing people to think its not their problem it’s everyone else. When in actuality we need to be able to look within and self reflect on the society and people that has shaped our behaviors. Ask ourselves if these behaviors serve us. To feel our feelings again and reconnect with our body, nature, and each other to have community and care for ourselves and others. American culture and capitalism has created a space where we are all separate, that monetary success outways the value of morals and care for others. That exponential growth is all that anyone should ever expect, there is no time for the inner life, for slowing down, for resting, and healing. Now more than ever we need to reconnect to ourselves, to our bodies, to our feelings, to others. To end the narrative of avoidance and be the change we wish to see in the world.

Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
My name is Ashes Bardole and I am a tattoo artist as well as an artist of many different mediums from oil painting to writing a poetry book. I started off as an oil painter and have been fortunate to explore many different mediums to end up running my own tattoo business. I am a traveling artist and work in several different locations and am always expanding. It has been 8 years since beginning this journey and trying to cultivate a space that encourages safety, compassion, and enlightenment. Art has always been my own method of expression and healing, and that has been such a big motivation for wanting to share it with others. Tattooing is a very mystic experience and can have profound effects on those who participate. However, I wanted to make it bigger than just those getting tattooed, and try to create something that would allow others to feel like they can pay it forward. Cultivate a sense that together we are strong and can achieve so much. From the very beginning I have set up charity and community service events to try to bring together a sense of belonging. To be a tattoo artist comes with a moral responsibility to look out for others and care about more than just yourself. Being a tattoo artist have the ability to make something ‘look cool’ to others and encourage participation. Or even help people be heard and seen when they are going through a tough time. To be an influence for good in the world. Over the last five years as a community we have raised over $21,400 for different charity organizations. This business has given me a platform to try to pay it forward, to help others, while also being able to heal myself.

Amazing, so let’s take a moment to go back in time. What’s a moment that really shaped how you see the world?
When I was a child, an adult had told me once that life isn’t fair. In that moment my initial reaction was that it only isn’t fair because of the people who make it unfair. That idea has stuck with me throughout my life and has been a huge motivator in wanting to do whatever I can within my power to create a space that is fair. We create the reality that we live in and collectively we can create a better future for everyone.

What did suffering teach you that success never could?
Suffering is the first way in which any human learns. It is the lesson to not touch the hot fire because it burns, psychologically we are wired to learn from suffering as a way of survival. As a buddhist, life is suffering. You will always experience suffering in some way throughout your entire life. This is fortunately a tool for us to all learn and grow. In Buddhism there is a story that describes suffering as two arrows. The unavoidable first arrow is the initial, painful experience of an event or experience. The second arrow is the suffering caused by our perspective and negative reaction, judgments, and stories we tell ourselves about the first arrow. The goal of Buddhist practice and mindfulness, is to recognize and avoid this self-inflicted second arrow and transform painful experiences into opportunities for growth instead of prolonged suffering. Thought this process is what I believe to be success. To alleviate any suffering or free ourselves from suffering allows us freedom. However, in order to alleviate it you must first understand it. Understand that suffering is not a negative thing but an opportunity to learn and grow. Hurt, pain, suffering, gives us the chance to look at ourselves and see what need to change to be different. Whether that is our perspective surrounding the thing or our actions in reaction to an experience. Success to me is the reward for the discipline, the hard work, the perspective shift. Suffering is the vehicle in which we are given the opportunity to learn

So a lot of these questions go deep, but if you are open to it, we’ve got a few more questions that we’d love to get your take on. Where are smart people getting it totally wrong today?
The idea of superiority, The belief that being more intelligent makes you better or higher than someone else. When all that does is alienate and isolate people from each other. As well as push people away from higher learning and education. No one wants to feel like that are less than, or to not be heard. We learn from each other in many different ways, and to think you know it all is to be a fool. Wisdom is to know that we know nothing and can learn many things from anyone. You just have to be open and aware to see what lessons are being presented.

Okay, so let’s keep going with one more question that means a lot to us: Are you doing what you were born to do—or what you were told to do?
I was very fortunate growing up in a home that allowed me the freedom to choose what I wanted, in my career path, or in my religious pursuits. That has helped me be able to decide who I wanted to be and who I felt I was meant to be. However, with that there is so much programing that society has told us, that we all really have to dig deep down to find and heal. I think a process that is always helpful is to reflect frequently on yourself, your behaviors, thoughts, and ask if this is who you really are and if it is a part of you that you want to keep. Not ever patterned behavior is helpful or serves us throughout our life. To grow and reflect and change into the person you want to be is an ever moving process. To be able to observe and let go of parts of yourself throughout different parts of your life allows you to remain authentic in yourself and who you actually want to choose to be instead of who was chosen for you to be.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://ashesbardole.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ashesbardole/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ashesbardoleart

Image Credits
n/a I own all images