An Inspired Chat with Ashley Oken of Manhattan

Ashley Oken shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.

Hi Ashley , thank you for taking the time to reflect back on your journey with us. I think our readers are in for a real treat. There is so much we can all learn from each other and so thank you again for opening up with us. Let’s get into it: What is something outside of work that is bringing you joy lately?
Being in the media industry can be difficult and all consuming, especially when you’re in the thick of writing pieces or putting together a book proposal. I have loved revisiting old Disney shows and movies, getting coloring books and new notebooks for journaling, and getting lost in the world that brought me joy as a child, I have also been focused on seeing my friends and making memories with them. Taking the time to nurture my friendships has been a great escape from stress and a reminder of what’s important and what is real. In the midst of chasing titles, real life connections can get lost and I’m trying to make more time to do things that make me happy.

Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I’m Ashley, a Jill of many trades. I wear multiple hats in my career: I am an entertainment and culture writer, an author, a screenwriter, an editor, and an educator.
I find joy in interviewing artists across the rock music scene about their art and destigmatizing mental health.
I also love discussing the history of rock music, the art of writing profile pieces. and spreading my love for writing with others through education and guest lecturing at universities.
I am passionate about elevating female and BIPOC artists across the music industry. A lot of this art was created by them and I want to make sure that they have the spotlight that they deserve and that the rock scene welcomes everyone.

Thanks for sharing that. Would love to go back in time and hear about how your past might have impacted who you are today. What relationship most shaped how you see yourself?
My relationship with my parents has shaped so much of who I am and how I see myself, especially my relationship with my dad.
He has always been supportive of my career and letting me find out what I want to do and helping me go after it.
From the earliest days of writing anything, my dad was always happy to nurture me and my ability, reading everything from my short stories I wrote as a kid to cheering me on when I got my first byline in the New York Times.
I am grateful for his unwavering support and dedication to making sure that I can pursue this path — being able to pursue writing as a career is a privilege in many ways— and I am proud of how much that support has helped me grow.

Was there ever a time you almost gave up?
When I was starting out in my career, I didn’t have any industry connections or background, so I was taking on whatever I could. I ended up working at Hearst Magazines as a freelance writer for Cosmopolitan Magazine and that would kickstart everything. I loved the people there but I knew that I wanted to pursue writing about music. I cold emailed so many people and I was doing so much for exposure or very little money. Thinking that it wasn’t going to lead to anything, I was contemplating whether to go back to teaching and call it quits. But an editor at MTV got back to me and gave me my first assignment in the form of an album review of Ariana Grande’s record at the time. That performed well and things snowballed into something so much better than I expected or imagined. I learned that a no could just mean not now and that persistence will get you farther ahead than you think.

So a lot of these questions go deep, but if you are open to it, we’ve got a few more questions that we’d love to get your take on. What would your closest friends say really matters to you?
I think that my closest friends would say that kindness and compassion matter to me. I always try to be as kind, thoughtful, and open to the world as possible. As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be inclusive of others and had friends who spanned the range of popularity. I never judged anyone on whether they were well liked or respected or paid attention to status to be able to be friends with them. All I ever look for is a person who is genuinely interested in others and kind to them.

Thank you so much for all of your openness so far. Maybe we can close with a future oriented question. What false labels are you still carrying?
I don’t think this is a false label as much as it’s about moving the goalposts of accomplishments in your career: I used to think that if I had been able to get a writing award, a flashy job title , a book deal, or a byline in a magazine that I read as kid, that I’d feel like I made it enough to where the imposter syndrome would disappear and that’s not necessarily true. I think that being happy with my work as it is and not trying to chase whatever I see on social media platforms is what keeps me going. Also, I have accomplished some of those goals already, thinking it would make me happy, and only feeling dread and disappointment initially. The high of the accomplishments will always wear off so you have to try to cultivate a life that makes you happy.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: @themillionthashleyyouknow