NEIL D’MONTE shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.
NEIL, a huge thanks to you for investing the time to share your wisdom with those who are seeking it. We think it’s so important for us to share stories with our neighbors, friends and community because knowledge multiples when we share with each other. Let’s jump in: What are you being called to do now, that you may have been afraid of before?
In the past three years, I have seen my mother’s health declining. Having her mortality in question is something that I have been secretly and silently worrying about for years. My Dad passed away on 2008 and that has left a huge scar on my heart and also now assuming the responsibility of being the matriarchal figure of our household. Up until the recent string of events with family being separated and my Mom becoming bedridden, I had to man-up and immediately came up here to take care of her and nurse her back to health.
It is one of those things that we will all be afraid of doing as we see loved ones getting older. I did not hesitate at all to be my mom’s soul caregiver and to be by her bedside. But I knew that someday this would happen and, even though every day is a challenge, it is a challenge that I accepted – even though I knew I was not ready for it. However, there are times in one’s life where you just have to step in and just do it.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
Thank you for having me, Bold Journey Magazine! And thank you to you, the readers!
My name is Neil D’Monte and I am an artist and SAG/AFTRA actor who segued into directing and producing a few years ago. As a director, I have done a few commercial spots and am doing a political comedy series on Prime Video called FRONT MEN. Working as Head of Development with Sony Pictures’ subsidiary Robots of Awesome (ROA), myself along with Jacob Silver and Brian Rogers (GODZILLA, GODZILLA X KONG), develop film/tv and video game for world-wide distribution and streaming content. ROA is currently in pre-production on a supernatural thriller and two sustained action films. I also work as a touring drummer and will be featured on rapper MC Shadow’s new single JUDGEMENT playing live drums. We will be announcing the label his catalogue will be released on (and this single) later this year. VERY excited to share this with all of you!
I am also the founder of a new clothing company called Hellbilly where I work with partners Alex Lugo and Tobias Truemann on the creation of streetwear and brand merchandising with talent.
My ‘brand’ (so to speak) is really that of having a edge to it – meaning that I put a dark twist on things that I do so that acquaintences in the entertainment industry know that it is me. In art, I use a lot of black for strong silhouettes and sharp detail whereas in other areas like film, I focus on dark subject matter whether it be comedy, action, sci-fi or fantasy.
Amazing, so let’s take a moment to go back in time. What did you believe about yourself as a child that you no longer believe?
Interesting question. As a child I believed in limitations. I used to listen to older people and even peers telling me that “It’s impossible” or “You can’t do that” — most of the time backing down instead of challenging myself. I used to live more fearfully and did things that were safe. As I got older, I relied more on tunnel vision… basically meaning that I saw what I wanted right ahead of me and that I would not pay attention to the left and right side trying to deter me from what I wanted. It is that mindset that I believe led me to where I am now and where I am going.
I never liked the term ‘manifesting’ but that is pretty much what I did to overcome non-sensical disbeliefs in myself. If you want something bad enough and are willing to work hard toward that goal, then you can have it. That goes with friendships, relationships, physical/mental well-being and even job opportunities. If you focus, write down your goals in a step-by-step list on how you will achieve them, then I do not see how you can fail.
Any new-age minion guru will tell you to be positive and that is a good thing. But focus, determination and the willingness to believe that you do not have preconceived limits are what really will get you into that mindset of not welcoming words like “can’t” or “won’t”.
Was there ever a time you almost gave up?
Yes. 2023 was just about the roughest year of my life outside of 2008 which is when I lost my Dad to a heart attack. It seems like no matter what I did and no matter how hard I worked or tried to work, I was hit with just about every low that could come at me. My Mom had a series of falls – one of which left her bedridden and giving up on life. She could barely speak, stopped eating sans being spoonfed a cup of tea twice a day in a rehabilitation facility and almost lost her arm to sepsis. My immediate family all but disappeared and I had NEVER felt so alone much less handicapped. Work was pretty much dead due to the entertainment industry strikes and I took P/T work as a handyman for a friend who was willing to take me on. I lost my longtime apartment due to toxic mold which I had succumbed to and the neglegence of our landlord. And I also lost the best relationship I had been in with a huge decline in health– all within a few months. Overwhelming would be The Understatement of the Year.
Even though I had brought my Mom back home and into her house, I now had the task of nursing her back to health. The roles of mother and son were now completely reversed and I was not used to caring for anyone, being independent for most of my adult life. While my Mom was slowly getting more healthy and strong, she still could not walk and was completely dependent on me. As that alone was hard, I was also fixing up her home which had become a massive hoarding situation and also had found out that her good nature of wanting to help others had been maliciously taken advantage of by people who pray on the elderly. Her savings, retirement and finances were wiped out and now I had to get that taken care of as well as getting her on new health insurance plans.
In addition to dealing with my own personal stresses, helping another out with no help for me was too much.
I spent time reflecting on everything on New Year’s Eve on 2023 with confusion, despair and sadness. Everything that I had worked so hard towards was crashing down and I was at wits end. Yet somehow when dawn broke on Jan 1st, 2024, those early morning yellow and orange rays made me realise that this is a whole new year and if I focus, I MAY JUST be able to turn this Lincoln Log of shit around.
I really owe it to my friends back in LA and Chicago. Talking to them every day and hearing them cheer me on gave me my energy and vigor back. Let’s face it – LOVE it what helped! The love that my Mom and I have for one another is what helped us both get through it. And the mutual love that my friends and I have for one another kept me moving forward. And those friendships I had nurtured got me through to the powers that be in order for us to get the additional support that we needed.
This experience proved to me that love, unconditional love, can turn anything around. Definitely a growing experience!
Alright, so if you are open to it, let’s explore some philosophical questions that touch on your values and worldview. What would your closest friends say really matters to you?
I would say that compassion towards others is what my friends would say really matters to me.
Being good and kind to your neighbor makes the world go around. Do you think the average clerk wants to be there at a register at 6a? Probably not. But if you take the time to address them by their name with a simple greeting or a smile, acknowledging them as a human being with a “Have a wonderful day”, they will more than likely keep it going all day with co-workers and fellow customers while brightening their day!
You never know what anyone is quietly battling (illness, depression, family problems, etc.). People will smile back at you and talk to you as if nothing is wrong when they are barely keeping it together in silence just waiting to get home to cry themselves to sleep (trust me, I have been there). Your kindness can go a long way!
Before we go, we’d love to hear your thoughts on some longer-run, legacy type questions. Are you tap dancing to work? Have you been that level of excited at any point in your career? If so, please tell us about those days.
Umm,…if any of you have seen me dance then I REALLY do not think you want to see me tap dance — you may lose all of your readers. Hahaha!
If anything, I am experiencing these exciting days right now – almost to the point where it feels like a dream.
It seems like every other job I have had, including being a recent IHSS caregiver to my Mom, has brought me to this point in my life. Working as a CSR at a Chicago-based Osco Drugs taught me how to deal with customers. Being a receptionist at SuperCuts taught me about being friendly and how to do math/bookkeeping. Working as a caregiver taught me about patience and understanding despite being in the middle of a crisis situation – all of which are necessary skills learned to work with the egos of others that go into producng and directing. I feel that all of this is helping acquire the “leadership” skills and mindset in order to handle things in the future by thinking outside the box.
I think for me what is the most exciting thing about my jobs are working with people whom I admired while growing up. Those same individuals are now in my peer group and are also close friends of mine now. It is so fun and rewarding on both personal and professional levels knowing that I am creating art with such mega-talent!
On a recent business call, I was on a Zoom call with three guys whom I am working with — one of which in an actor in a bunch of movies I grew up watching. We now hang out at one another’s places and I am very grateful for their partnership and friendship. Best part? Outside of the occassional work chat, we actually talk more about family, life, architecture and motorcycles which is very bonding.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.clanofthevein.com
- Instagram: https://instagram.com/clanofthevein
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/neil-d-monte-61631134/
- Twitter: https://x.com/neildmonte
Image Credits
JPiccari, Jethro Alaba, Chelsea Newman, MarcDonPhotos, Albert L. Ortega
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