An Inspired Chat with Tamara Ashley

Tamara Ashley shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.

Tamara, we’re thrilled to have you with us today. Before we jump into your intro and the heart of the interview, let’s start with a bit of an ice breaker: Who are you learning from right now?
Right now, I’m learning from the old me. I’ve been taking time to go back and evaluate the patterns, habits, and choices that shaped who I was, not to dwell on them, but to understand them. I’ve been revisiting the lessons I overlooked, forgiving myself for what I didn’t know then, and giving grace to the version of me that was just trying to survive with the tools she had.

I’m learning to heal the little girl in me who didn’t always feel seen or safe, and to honor the woman I’ve become because of ,not in spite of, her. It’s been a process of unlearning, growing, and rebuilding from a place of self-awareness and compassion. So right now, my greatest teacher is the old me because she carries the wisdom that’s guiding my next chapter.

Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I am Tamara Ashley, the curator of “Pain to Purpose”. A movement and sacred space created for women to simply be. To exhale. To heal. To rediscover purpose in the midst of pain. I’ve experienced many traumas and walked through countless seasons of breaking and becoming. I’m still navigating my own journey, still learning, still growing, still healing. And nothing fills me more than being able to bring women together to create the kind of support system I wish I had many moons ago.

Through Pain to Purpose, I create spirit-led, spirit-filled experiences that allow women to take off the masks, release the pressure, and be fully themselves…messy, magical, powerful, and everything in between. My events are safe spaces to scream, to laugh, to cry, to vent, to grow , because we are so many things to so many different people and circumstances, and we deserve a place where we can just be us, and where our truth is celebrated, not judged.

What makes Pain to Purpose unique is the sisterhood it cultivates. These gatherings remind women that despite what society says, we DO get along. We uplift one another. We motivate, we heal, we rebuild, and we rise…together! It’s not just about events; it’s about creating a movement of women who are learning to love each other and themselves on a deeper, more authentic level.

My events range from brunches and workshops to table talks and group sessions. There’s always great food, engaging activities, amazing vendors, vibrant energy, and of course, giveaways! You never leave my spaces empty-handed, empty-headed, or empty-hearted. I make sure of it!

Great, so let’s dive into your journey a bit more. What part of you has served its purpose and must now be released?
The part of me that has served its purpose, and that I’ve had to release , is the angry girl. The one who was hurt, confused, abandoned, and rejected. The one who didn’t always know how to love or be loved. She wasn’t the best friend, daughter, sister, or even mother, because she was operating from a place of pain. Her walls were high, her words were sharp, and her heart was guarded.

But her time is up. I’ve learned that holding on to her was holding back my healing. She showed up when I needed to survive, she fought for me when no one else did. But survival and healing cannot coexist in the same space. Once the healing began, it was time for her to slowly but surely make her exit.

She taught me strength, but she also showed me what happens when strength becomes a shield. That version of me began to lose touch with empathy, compassion, grace, and love. Not because I didn’t have them, but because pain had buried them. So now, I honor her for getting me through the dark seasons, but I no longer need to live from that place.

Today, I choose to take what she went through and use it as fuel, motivation to grow, to love deeper, to live softer, and to help others do the same. Her story birthed my purpose, but it no longer defines who I am.

If you could say one kind thing to your younger self, what would it be?
If I could say one kind thing to my younger self, it would be, “Thank you.”

Thank you for making it, for holding on when everything in you wanted to let go. Thank you for believing, even through the tears, that better days were coming. Thank you for laying the foundation that I now stand on. Thank you for showing me what strength really looks like, not the kind that hides the pain, but the kind that endures it and still chooses to hope.

Thank you for loving me, even when the world made you feel unworthy of love. You didn’t always have the tools, but you had the will, and my girl…that was enough! I see you now. I didn’t always see you, didn’t always understand your silence, your anger, or your fear, but now I do. And I honor you, your resilience, your courage, your survival.

You were never broken; you were becoming. Every scar, every tear, every stumble was shaping the woman I am today. So, thank you for never giving up on me, even when I had given up on you.

So a lot of these questions go deep, but if you are open to it, we’ve got a few more questions that we’d love to get your take on. What’s a belief you used to hold tightly but now think was naive or wrong?
A belief I used to hold tightly was that you should never tell people your business, that it was safer to keep your struggles to yourself because either no one could help, or they’d just use it against you. I convinced myself that silence was strength, when in reality, it was isolation.

Looking back, that was one of the most damaging lies I ever believed…that I had to carry everything alone. Keeping quiet didn’t protect me; it imprisoned me. What I’ve learned is that revealing brings healing. Opening up about what I was going through has connected me to some of the most amazing people and placed me in rooms I never imagined I’d be in. Sharing my story has shifted the entire trajectory of my life.

Simple, honest conversations have sparked life-changing breakthroughs, moments of connection, encouragement, and divine alignment that I never would have experienced if I stayed silent. Yes, you have to be discerning about who you share with, but don’t let fear keep you from being seen.

You may be one conversation away from your healing, your breakthrough, your resource, or your open door. Vulnerability isn’t weakness…it’s the bridge that leads to freedom.

Thank you so much for all of your openness so far. Maybe we can close with a future oriented question. What will you regret not doing? 
If I ever regret not doing anything, it would be not fulfilling God’s plan and purpose for my life. I don’t want to leave this earth full of gifts that were meant to be given away. I want to leave empty…no stone unturned, no life unchanged, no connection undone, no story untold.

None of what we have or what we’ve been through is truly for us. Our pain, our lessons, our victories, they’re all pieces of someone else’s survival guide, someone else’s life manual. We were created to be the good in the earth, even when the world isn’t always good to us.

Now, let me be honest…I’m still a work in progress. I still have my moments: the attitude, the isolation, the sharp tongue (and yes, my friends will co-sign that one!). But the difference now is in how I respond to life. I’m intentional about self-correction, about self-awareness, about doing the hard work to be better, not for perfection’s sake, but so I can be a light, an example of what growth looks like. A living witness AND testimony to how no matter what life takes you through, there is something greater waiting for you on the other side.

So if I ever regret anything, it would be not sharing my gifts with the world. Not allowing God to fully use me. Because my greatest fear isn’t failure, it’s leaving behind untapped purpose.

I’ve walked through homelessness… carrying hope in pockets that felt empty.
I’ve grieved the loss of the two women who raised me, my mother, my grandmother, the anchors of my becoming. I’ve wrestled with addiction and laid my scars before God. I’ve faced the little girl inside me whose innocence was stolen, and together, “we” found healing. Depression has shaken my soul,
and suicide… almost stole my time. But every dark valley had purpose. Every tear was seed. What the enemy meant for evil,
God is now using for my good. It will NOT be wasted! The world is going to know what a real rose that grew from the concrete looks like…

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