An Inspired Chat with Ursula Sabia Sukinik of Bethesda

We’re looking forward to introducing you to Ursula Sabia Sukinik. Check out our conversation below.

Hi Ursula, thank you for taking the time to reflect back on your journey with us. I think our readers are in for a real treat. There is so much we can all learn from each other and so thank you again for opening up with us. Let’s get into it: Have you stood up for someone when it cost you something?
Advocating for Families in Labor can be costly.

At Birth You Desire, we believe that every family deserves to be seen, heard, and respected during birth. Recently, I was written up by hospital staff for honoring a client’s simple request for counter pressure during labor. While the staff may not have appreciated my presence, my responsibility is always to the birthing person and their expressed needs.

Counter pressure is a safe, evidence-based comfort measure that can dramatically reduce pain and help parents cope with contractions. It’s not a medical intervention, but a way of honoring the body and supporting physiologic birth. Something doulas have been doing for centuries.

This moment reminded me why I stand strong as a doula: to protect your voice in a system that too often prioritizes policy over people. Families hire Birth You Desire because they want support that centers their wishes, not hospital convenience.

Our stand is to ensure that you never feel alone, dismissed, or powerless in one of the most important moments of your life.

Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
My name is Ursula Sabia Sukinik, and I’m the founder and director of Birth You Desire, a full-spectrum doula collective serving families in Phoenix, Northern Virginia, Maryland, Washington, DC, and virtually worldwide. For over 25 years, I’ve personally walked alongside over 4,000 families, supporting them through fertility, pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.

What makes Birth You Desire unique is our depth of experience. Our team brings together over 250 years of combined expertise and an unwavering commitment to evidence-based, compassionate care. We don’t believe birth is “one-size-fits-all.” Every family deserves to feel safe, informed, and empowered as they navigate these life-changing moments.

My own journey into birth work was shaped by personal challenges and a calling to ensure that families never have to feel alone during one of the most vulnerable—and powerful—seasons of their lives. That’s why we offer flexible, personalized services, from hands-on labor support to postpartum recovery and newborn care education.

At the heart of everything we do is this belief: When families are supported, whole communities thrive.

Amazing, so let’s take a moment to go back in time. What did you believe about yourself as a child that you no longer believe?
As a child with dyslexia, I believed I wasn’t smart enough or perfect enough. That something was “wrong” with me because learning seemed harder for me than for others. I often felt like I had to work twice as hard to keep up, and that left me doubting my worth.

What I no longer believe is that my dyslexia limits me. Over time, I’ve learned that it actually gave me unique strengths: creativity, resilience, and the ability to see the world through a unique lens. Instead of holding me back, it shaped me into someone who perceives the world differently, connects deeply with people, and thrives in hands-on, real-world experiences.

Today, I recognize that my struggles with reading, writing, and traditional learning didn’t define me. They refined me. Dyslexia helped me develop empathy, patience, and determination, which I now bring to my work and to the families I support.

What did suffering teach you that success never could?
I have lived through several serious health challenges. Each one has taught me lessons that success never could. Success often feels shiny and affirming, but suffering strips everything down to the essentials. Revealing what truly matters. When my body was weak and I was forced to slow down, ask for help, and rework my personal and company stand. Asking for help and restructuring my business taught me humility, patience, and the value of help. Something I never would have learned if everything had come easily.

My health challenges gave me perspective. It taught me that life is fragile, that relationships matter more than accomplishments, and that resilience is built in the darkest moments. It has helped me to step into others’ shoes and their challenges and needs differently. It deepened my empathy and improved my listening skills. Making me more attuned to the quiet struggles others carry, and it reminded me that healing is just as important as achievement.

In many ways, my health challenges have been my greatest teacher. It gave me depth, compassion, and clarity about my purpose in a way that success alone could never provide.

Alright, so if you are open to it, let’s explore some philosophical questions that touch on your values and worldview. What are the biggest lies your industry tells itself?
I believe that one of the biggest lies modern obstetrics tells is that induction is necessary for most women. That your body won’t go into labor “on its own,” or that you’re somehow broken if you don’t progress on a hospital’s timeline. The truth is, women have been having babies since the dawn of time. For thousands of years, birth unfolded surrounded by midwives, doulas, family, and community. Support was always in the room.

Hospitals, in contrast, are relatively new. While modern medicine has absolutely saved lives, it has also redefined birth as a condition to be managed, monitored, and billed. What was once a natural, sacred experience has too often become a medicalized event, where policy replaces instinct and timelines replace trust. Today, 98% of U.S. births happen in hospitals, and yet one in three mothers reports birth trauma. Studies show that women feel unheard, pressured, or powerless.

That is what has changed: protocols over patience, pitocin over presence, monitors over movement. The lie is that this is the only safe way. The deeper lie is that women are incapable of birthing without it.

This is why I am a doula. Not to replace a provider or a partner, but to help families navigate the system—to remind them that they have rights, choices, and voices that matter. I provide evidence-based education, hands-on comfort, and watch the room while you meet your baby.

You don’t need a doula because you are weak or unable.
You deserve a doula because birth today happens in a system that wasn’t built for you.

Birth is ancient. Support is essential. You deserve both—not just a hospital gown.

Okay, so let’s keep going with one more question that means a lot to us: What do you think people will most misunderstand about your legacy?
What I think people may most misunderstand about my legacy as both a doula and a mother is that it isn’t about the numbers or the money. It is about the thousands of families Birth You Desire supported. The babies and parents are born.

What I hope people truly see is that my work has always been about relationship and presence. As a doula, my legacy isn’t measured only in births but in the countless quiet moments of reassurance. Moments when a mother felt heard. When a partner felt included. When a family felt stronger because they weren’t alone. Those moments don’t always make it into statistics, but they are the heartbeat of my work.

As a mother and grandmother, people may think my identity is separate from my doula work, but the truth is, they are deeply intertwined. My children shaped who I am as a doula, and my doula work shaped who I am as a mother. My legacy is not about choosing one role over another. It is about weaving both into a life of nurturing, teaching, and lifting others up.

My legacy and the company, at its core, is not about me at all. It’s about creating ripples of strength and compassion that will live on in the families, children, and communities I’ve touched.

Contact Info:

Image Credits
@dcbirthphotographer

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