Being Effective Even When No One Else is Like You

Inevitably you will find yourself in a room where no one else is like you. They might not look like you, speak like you, pray or love like you or think like you. Managing to be effective in all contexts is an essential part of your journey towards reaching your full potential and so we asked some brilliant members of the community to share their stories and advice.

Alex Walton

Growing up, going to predominantly white schools I was always one of the few, if not the only black person. So I guess you could say I’m used to being the only one in the room who “looks like me”. Ways I’ve learned to be effective/successful while being the “minority” are having self confidence. If I show that I’m uncomfortable in a situation where I’m the only black woman that can be taken as being weak. Giving the space to try and belittle me or make me feel less than, which I know is not the case what so ever. Treating people the way I want to be treated is something we were taught as children and it’s something I still apply to my life daily. Especially being in the career field that I’m in. To get respect you have to give respect. Read more>>

Jay Lawrence

In those rooms I have been able to shine because I have a story to tell and I am just unapologetically myself. That seems to go a long way with the majority in that room cause I have always felt like people can see right thru people that put up a facade to be a certain way to fit in. Read more>>

Ella Grace

Jazz is a male-dominated genre. As a female jazz musician, I am often the only woman in the bands I play in. Psychologically, being in a tokenized position like this makes you more susceptible to things like imposter syndrome (feeling like you are not skilled enough or talented enough to be in the environment), low self-efficacy (lack of belief that you can succeed), and stereotype threat (the fear of confirming negative stereotypes about your identity that comes with being the sole representative of a group). These are all things I have dealt with and continue to deal with as a musician. I find that my skills tend to be underestimated when people have never heard me play, and I have to work harder to prove my abilities. In can be harder to network, a vital part of a freelance performance career. Read more>>

Hyrel Mathias

When I first entered the design world, I was often the only person in the room that was of Asian descent. Early in my career, at an AD100 firm in New York, I quickly realized that every room presented a new challenge. The projects were high-stakes, the clients had big names, and often I felt a distance, a certain unfamiliarity, with the spaces and people I was surrounded by. But instead of retreating, I leaned in with curiosity and a commitment to be bold in my approach. Read more>>

Bea Cheung

Navigating the intersection of being queer, an immigrant, and a woman of color often means feeling out of place in many spaces I enter. I often experience an internal struggle: I must stand firm, be confident and resilient, and justify my right to a seat at the table while also being tender and empathetic to understand the core issues that creative problem-solving requires. In environments where collaboration and open communication are built on trust and solidarity, I can express my authentic self, which fosters my most playful and creative contributions. I’m very aware that I must work twice as hard to demonstrate my value, especially when negotiating for fair compensation. Leading with authenticity and curiosity has been crucial in my effectiveness, particularly when collaborating with new clients and cross-functional partners. Read more>>

Julius Sanchez

Being the only one in the room that looks like me, it certainly can feel a bit demoralizing because there aren’t any others that can relate to the cultural or ethnic background I am from. I was born in the Philippines and my family emigrated to the U.S. when I was eight years old. I consider myself Filipino American because both cultures resonate with me equally. Being in the arts, more often than not, I find myself occupying a room where I am the only one that looks like me or hails from the culture that I grew up in. I believe in moments like these, I get to make a choice in what I can do with this privilege, so I choose to see it as a responsibility and not as a burden. Read more>>

Donte Watson

By never forgetting where I started or what I’ve overcome. the choice I’ve always made was to Rise, Not only just Rise but to Rise for something, before I rose I had to understand what I was Rising for, wanted to make sure it made since
And as I started to accomplish great thing I simply realized I was always risinng to achieve GREATNESS.
As a Person , and Or as a Public Figure. Read more>>

Ariel Pasion

Honestly, this one hits my soul. Growing up I went to a school that did not have *as much* diversity. I was probably 1 out of 10 Filipinos in my school of over 1,000 students. I remember feeling alone and confused, and not only did I think this way – I was bullied for looking and being the way that I was. They told me that “I’d grow up being nothing.”That “My mother should be ashamed to have me as her daughter.” Read more>>

Ashley Hasker

Once i finally understood that my actual power is that no one else can be me , it allowed me to step in to rooms more confidently, and as my most authentic self. Especially when I’m the only one that looks like me. Sometimes it can seem awkward, and have you questioning why am I here, but when you remember whose you are, and that God makes no mistakes, you change your mindset to “I have a purpose and that purpose is powerful”. Alway stay true to who you are and what you represent. What’s for you will never pass you by so enjoy the experiences! Read more>>

Zarina Williams

I’ve learned that being the only one in the room who looks like me can actually be an opportunity to bring unique perspectives and strengths to the table. To be effective in these situations, I focus on understanding my own strengths and weaknesses. This self-awareness helps me navigate any situation with confidence, knowing when to step up and offer insights or when to listen and learn. I approach every challenge with the mindset that my role is not just to represent my background, but also to contribute meaningfully to the process—whether that means facilitating discussions, offering new viewpoints, or helping to drive solutions in ways others might not have considered. Read more>>

Clarevonte “clay” Williams

Being the only person in the room who looks like me is a scenario I’ve encountered more times than I can count. Over time, I’ve developed strategies to not only navigate these moments but thrive in them. First, I prepare thoroughly before entering the room. I research who will be there and what topics are likely to come up. This allows me to identify potential areas for meaningful connection and conversation. Preparation sets the foundation for confidence and effectiveness. Read more>>

Showrocka Pullen

Many would think that an underground rapper would spend most his times on stages and in studios with familiar faces that look like them. Rappers have traditionally been stereotyped as having a certain background, demographic and even racial identity, but nothing could be further from the truth. In 2024, rappers and hip-hop artists are coming from all walks of life, and many are balancing professional careers alongside their God given ability to make music. My own journey has brought me from an urban environment and section 8 housing, to the hallowed halls of the Ivy League ,where oftentimes, I was the only black face in the room. This dichotomy has allowed me to excel in many situations both in the office and on stage, as I am able to relate to a large cross section of people, and be completely comfortable in my own skin. Read more>>

Nicole Garrett

Being the only female in most of my jobs, and even during my education, I learned to be on point 100% of the time. When you are the only female in such male dominated fields they have counted you out the moment you walk in the door. Any mistake or small error only justifies their belief that you don’t belong or aren’t good enough. There is zero margin for error. Read more>>

Elise Li

The first “only one in the room” story is about my transition to a new career. I pursued a master’s degree in fashion management in Hong Kong, where most of my classmates came from fashion design or business backgrounds, aiming for careers in fashion or marketing. I, on the other hand, wanted to shift to UX design, which made me feel incredibly isolated. While my classmates attended numerous recruitment events for companies like LVMH, L’Oréal, and DFS, I found myself alone, quietly working on my portfolio at home. With no formal education or internship experience in UX/UI, my resume was essentially blank. Although I made a few friends at PolyU, our different career paths meant they couldn’t offer much support, leaving me feeling like the only one in the room. Read more>>

Kayla Sullers

My mom always calls me a Unicorn. If you look up the definition of unicorn, it states that it is a mythical animal typically represented as a horse with a single straight horn projecting from its forehead. They’re one of a kind. In a world shaped by media, there is a major racial and gender disparity behind the lens. Hollywood constantly falls short of reflecting the diversity of its audience on the screen, but consumers aren’t aware that it’s happening behind the lens too. Although I don’t have a horn projecting from my forehead, I do have a third eye that’s invisible but wide open and alert. Read more>>

Brittney Reed

Being a woman of color in a male-dominated industry has shaped my journey in profound ways. Often, I’ve been the only one in the room who looks like me, and rather than allowing that to discourage me, I’ve used it as fuel to become both effective and successful. Read more>>

Dinorah Schz

My mind totally expanded when I started to understand the lessons life’s been teaching me. I realized that pressure makes you a master, and when you’re in a high-stress job surrounded by people who aren’t exactly the friendliest, that’s what shapes you into who you are today. Those inconvenient moments we tend to complain about are actually perfect for growing both as a person and a professional. That’s why I always try to find the positive side in situations like these. I stay aware of that and just take a moment to be grateful. Read more>>

Ieshia Nicole Hearn

As the CEO of Ieshia Inspires, managing a small business, and a mom to two amazing daughters, I’ve built my career and brand on standing out with purpose and leading with confidence. With nearly 15 years of experience working for the top five financial institutions, I often found myself as the youngest person, the only person who looks like me, and the only woman in the room. Read more>>

Suave Burgandy

At first glance, being the “only one in the room” can appear to be an overwhelming challenge, like a mountain to scale. However, if you adjust your perspective, it becomes a chance to create space and seize opportunities. Being the only one of your kind in a given situation is inherently rare, and depending on your approach, you can assume and maintain a position of power and influence. Being the sole representative of a viewpoint in a room is an invitation to shape narratives and engage at a meaningful level. When you enter these situations prepared, confident, alert, and intentional, you possess considerable strength—the kind of energy that encourages initiatives, opens doors, and inspires movements. Read more>>

Rachel Baptiste

As a Black woman, being the one and only in the room has been both a challenge and an opportunity. Early in my career, it was isolating at times—walking into spaces where no one shared my experiences, perspectives, or identity as a Black woman. Over time, I realized that instead of trying to blend in, my power lay in standing out. Read more>>

Brandon Alvión

Whenever I’m the “only” in the room I have found great effectiveness in uplifting the benefits of inviting more diverse voices to the table. I learned not to let others (or even myself) make me the sole representative for any identity that I carry into a space. I am constantly searching for opportunities to highlight the importance of diversity at the table. The gift of this perspective is not only helping to open the door for others, but also helping those in the room see diversity as a benefit to us all! Read more>>

Marjorie Murillo

Being a Latin American women, more specifically a Salvadoran women, there are many times I have found myself in a room albeit an audition room or a rehearsal room where I am the only person that looks like me. When I was younger this was definitely a thing that bothered and discouraged me especially when it came to auditioning. The limited amount of roles written for Latinx people meant that I often found myself auditioning for roles traditionally played by white actors. Walking into the room, I often felt a mix of anxiety and disappointment if I was one of very few women of color auditioning. “Will they even consider me?” is a thought that often persisted in my head. Read more>>

Eric Santiestevan

I’ve done a lot of work with Indigenous culture bearers in Los Angeles, and as a lighter skinned Latino who didn’t grow up speaking Spanish, I try to play the role of constant student with others who have been on the front lines of regenerating culture for far longer than I have. The more one decenters oneself, oddly, the better you can be an ambassador when *you* are the one talking to others who have just started reconnecting to language, be it Spanish or an Indigenous language, or finding one’s way in activism or art. Inevitably, I find myself in different milieus where I am the lightest skinned person talking about Indigenous music, or the poorest, most activist person in a sea of white liberals interested in nature conservation–but collaboration and active listening goes a long way in all of these spaces. Read more>>

Desiree Scarborough

Start by knowing that you’re in the room for a reason, that there are people behind you that believe you deserve to be there, and know that people are looking to you to lead by example. Nothing snaps me out of imposter syndrome quicker than looking around a room, noticing that I’m the only black woman there and immediately realizing -despite how unfair it is- that how I carry myself in this place determines whether or not they’ll let another black woman in. Read more>> 

Ada

Being the only one in the room, I don’t let my appearance or background define my capabilities. Anyone who knows or works with me sees that I’m hardworking, always pushing beyond expectations, helping where I can, and letting my actions speak for itself. I have a deep drive to excel—whether that’s in class, on the basketball court, or even competing for a spot in a fashion show. I believe in myself and trust that, with God’s guidance, what’s meant for me won’t pass me by. My friends often joke that I always achieve what I set my mind to because of my discipline and work ethic and honestly, they’re not wrong. In every setting, I strive to prove that true success comes from determination, character, and faith—qualities that speak louder than appearances. Read more>>

Sarissa Thrower

I think it’s really important that we re-frame the language and mindset that we use to think about these things when we’re in these scenarios. People who occupy marginalized identities, like me, have long been socialized to see themselves as the odd ones out; these ideas are reinforced when we find ourselves in environments where we don’t appear to have representation. But being around people who look like you and thinking that is where your commonality primarily lies is a bit of a dead end. Read more>>

Vanessa L. Bryant

Growing up in a very monocultural community, it was difficult for me at a young age to see the value in standing out and embracing my differences. As a child I wanted to just “fit in” and “be like everyone else.” That mentality stayed with me for a long time and turned into insecurities that fed into my inner critic, creating voices that tried to tell me that I wasn’t good enough, that I wasn’t worthy and that I didn’t belong. It wasn’t until I started to work through those emotions, and acknowledge the unique perspectives and strengths that my background afforded me, that I began to shift my mindset. I realized that my differences weren’t weaknesses but rather assets that could enhance my contributions in any environment. This epiphany empowered me to embrace my identity, even when I was often the only one in the room that looked like me. Read more>>

Lesley Pinckney

I would answer this question differently at every stage of my career. When I was starting out and was less confident, I mainly focused on what I could control, so I outworked and “outlearned” my peers. The fear of being perceived consciously or subconsciously as an affirmative action hire (I pre-date the pejorative “diversity hire”) was distasteful and became a tremendous motivating factor. Then, as I matured in the workforce, I realized that most people who would think in those labels usually weren’t objective about performance in the first place, so I added additional tools to the arsenal. I will still outlearn most people as I believe curiosity is critical to innovation, and learning, for me, creates more curiosity. Read more>>

Noah Perales

Being unique or different is as useful as you make it. I never look at diversity as a deficit, but an opportunity to expand perspectives. Every individual has their own experiences, memories, skills, and knowledge. Often, there are patterns between these factors and how we look due culture/heredity (however this is not a fixed relationship). Inviting visual diversification often enriches the idealogical pot by opening the door to novel insights. When you are the individual bringing those insights, it’s good to remember this is an asset. In my journey, age, ethnicity, and gender have set me apart. I am a 26 year old, hispanic (Puerto Rican), male, working and running a business in the healthcare/therapy field. It can feel uneasy when you don’t appear as people expect, but fitting the mold is an outdated comfort. Remember what you bring to the table, focus on learning, and foster your relationships along the way. Read more>>

Loretta Pickett

Knowing who I am and what my strengths and weaknesses are, I find myself intrigued to flourish within my effectiveness in any room regardless of the diversity in that environment. That is what drives my successfulness in distinct settings. Every encounter I am honored to be a part of is a learning opportunity to network and commune with like-minded people whether that be the general public or gaining knowledge/wisdom from other business owners. Read more>>

Key Dickey

As a Black and queer human being living in a rural area for most of my life that is filled with predominantly Caucasian individuals and families, it has been quite normal for me to be the only one in a room that looks or identifies how I do. I grew up playing competitive and traveling sports in Oregon starting around third grade. From third grade to the time I finished playing sports when I graduated high school, I can count the number of other Black athletes on my teams on one hand through all of those years of year-round sports. I was a young age when I learned to be successful and effective when nobody around me resembled my dark skin, course curly hair, and “tomboy-like” style. Read more>>

Jay Jay Greene

Being in a room where I’m the only one who looks like me has taught me to focus on bringing value through my unique perspective. I approach these situations by concentrating on comprehending the discussion’s goals and contributing meaningfully when I can. Rather than focusing on being different, I engage with the topic using my ability to envision and understand concepts. I’ve learned that it’s okay if some conversations go over my head – these moments become opportunities for learning. I view conversations and education as similar technologies: when people share knowledge I don’t have, I accept it openly and use it to better understand the broader context of our discussion. Read more>>

Peter Andoh-kesson

It started with awareness of my capabilities and what I personally bring to the table. They say that the person you can best serve is the person you once were. Your story, your experiences and your journey matters. I’ve always been a people-pleaser since I’ve been young, always wanted to fit in and at the same time be unique. Over time I realized that I’ve been dimming my light so that others can be satisfied with who I am instead of fully being who I truly am. I’ve always been extremely resourceful and knowledgeable of many business processes and systems that work. Read more>>

Monique Elwell

I am a woman who grew up with boys and gravitated toward the rough-and-tumble industries of finance and tech. Luckily, I was introduced to Deborah Tannen’s Talking 9 to 5 early in my career. In this book, she discusses how men and women speak, dress, and act differently in the workplace. At the time, it was assumed that men had “Direct Speech” and women had “Indirect Speech.” Her research showed that both sexes use both direct and indirect speech; they just look different.
For example, a woman’s direct speech might look like her stating aloud, “It’s hot in here.” A woman familiar with this form of direct speech, also known in today’s parlance as “venting,” would simply respond with an empathetic, “That sucks.” Those familiar with male indirect speak, however, would assume that “I’m hot in here” meant they should do something about it, like immediately opening a window to fix the problem.  Read more>>

Ashley Greene

Being the only person in the room who looks like me has been both challenging and empowering. Early in my career, I often felt the weight of being the only Black woman, and sometimes the only person of color in each space. It took the encouragement from my colleagues, and a lot of time spent on self-development to find my voice and to trust that my perspective was valuable. As I grew, I realized that my opinions weren’t just different, they were essential. The experiences I bring to the table allow me to see opportunities and potential pitfalls others may miss. Read more>>

Glenda Aleman

What I’ve learned is that my uniqueness is one of my greatest strengths. Often, when I sit on advisory boards or participate in focus groups, I’m the only Latina woman in the room. In those situations, I’ve learned to be effective and successful by staying true to my purpose, my mission, and my vision. By being genuine and embracing who I am, my skills and expertise in the field naturally shine through. Read more>>

Mercedes Garcia

Being the only one in the room who looks like me has been a recurring experience. In my cohort at Stephens College, a women-focused program, I was the only Latina and the only person of color. At industry events, I’m often one of the few women present, and even more often the only Latina or person of color. These situations come with their share of challenges, like the microaggressions I’ve experienced, such as a recent moment at a film festival when I was mistaken for staff at a mixer even though I was dressed for the event. These encounters are subtle but accumulate, reinforcing the feeling of being an outsider. Read more>>