Being Effective Even When No One Else is Like You

Inevitably you will find yourself in a room where no one else is like you. They might not look like you, speak like you, pray or love like you or think like you. Managing to be effective in all contexts is an essential part of your journey towards reaching your full potential and so we asked some brilliant members of the community to share their stories and advice.

Kieshia Mace-pearson

Being the only one in the room has taught me the importance of confidence, preparation, and adaptability. I’ve learned that success often comes from bringing knowledge and solutions to the table while also being approachable and open-minded. By actively listening to others, seeking to understand their perspectives, and bridging gaps with thoughtful solutions, I’ve found that collaboration becomes more natural, even in challenging environments. Read more>>

Lisa Clemens

Being successful in the world of wellness is a moving target to say the least. It is not a career that I learned about in my upbringing – to be honest, wellness was almost considered indulgent in my family. I stumbled into working in wellness by accident, but quickly developed a passion for the work we do and the clients we meet. The diversity and community is unmatchable. We truly meet the most unique and interesting people every day, every program. Read more>>

Cece Coakley

Imposter syndrome is something I have had to work through in my years as a singer-songwriter because there are many days I find myself in rooms of people I look up to or admire. There are also a lot of days when I am the only girl at the show I am playing or the only young woman in a writing room. In these collaborative spaces, something that has helped me feel confident and stand out is just letting go of my anxiety that I am not enough or don’t belong. If it is on my calendar that means that I’m meant to be there and have the right to take up space. Read more>>

Camille Elliot

When I first conceived of the idea for my series Lady Wynwood’s Spies, I knew I was doing something bold. I had come from a background of traditional publishing and I was embarking on a series that a trad publisher wouldn’t touch because it was essentially a long serial novel in parts. Read more>>

Lihua Chen

When Lili is in the room—Lili is me—the room is New York.
This question deeply resonates with my current situation and state of mind. I immigrated to New York two years ago, and back then, as my second language, English was not my strength, especially in speaking and listening. So, as I stepped into this ‘new room’ and began to build a life here, I found that everything—from daily essentials to planning and developing my career—required constant adaptation and overcoming obstacles. Read more>>

Vanetta Wallace

Being the only person the room that looks like me use to make me feel uncomfortable. What are they thinking? Will they like? How do I approach this? It’s simple, I just act the way I’ve always acted. I look past our differences and blend. I smile, make an introduction and ask a questions to see what we have in common because you can always find a commonality. And if you don’t you speak to your differences with a positive spin. I am shy by nature but when asked what my passion is or what makes me tick, I become alive, confident, expressive and enthusiastically engaged. Read more>>

Jonon Gansukh

In 2018, when I was on my quest to transfer schools, I remember meeting a famous actress during a college open day and asking her what “The Secret to Confidence” was. It was then and there that she told me, “You have to realize what you bring to the table.” And I wrote that down in my notebook. Read more>>

Julia Grigio

The First Time I Noticed

The first newsroom I ever walked into was alive with the clatter of keyboards, the hum of phones, and the palpable buzz of deadlines. But it didn’t take me long to notice something else: I was the only person in the room who looked like me.

I remember feeling an uneasy mix of pride and pressure. Pride because I had earned my place at the table, but I was pressure because I felt like I had to prove over and over that I belonged there. Read more>>

Katia Pierre-louis

As a first-generation Haitian American, I was raised in a household that instilled a belief in the good in people and the importance of positive intentions in building relationships. My upbringing emphasized hard work, integrity, and the trust those qualities inspire in others. My parents always reinforced the idea that “the sky’s the limit,” which shaped my confidence and determination to excel, even in spaces where I might be the only one who looks like me. Read more>>

Dr. Demoine Kinney

There have been many times in my life where I was the only one in the room that looked like me and at first it was difficult for me. It was difficult because I grew up in a small town called Dillon SC and I always had my family there. I joined the Air Force and was in the Information Technology arena and was often times the only one in the room. After the Air Force I became a Government Contractor and operated as a Program Manager where I was more times than not the only one in the room. I learned to not be afraid to speak up because what I have to share is valuable and important to the mission. There were times when I was a little nervous to speak up but I had to do it anyway because in my arena it could cost lives. I have also learned the importance of listening more than I talk because there are a lot of problems that you could be the answer to when you listen. So I would always strategize how I could be an answer to the problems that I heard about which allowed me to be effective and successful in my field. Now I own multiple companies and all we focus on is being effective, impactful and memorable so we can have success every day. Read more>>

Jaye Wilson

I learned a long time ago there is no such thing as being “the only one”. There will always be an area of commonality that exists because we all are intersectional beings. I believe we place more exclusions on ourselves that put up barriers to disconnect us from those commonalities.

I think it can be hard to visualize the relatability when we only rely on physical attributes, but I like to lead with genuine curiosity and openness. I invite people in to get to know me and I use that as my entry point to reciprocate that same energy. Read more>>

Flora Singh

Being the only one in the room has never been foreign to me—it’s been a recurring theme throughout my life. Growing up, I wasn’t handed opportunities. No platforms were waiting for me, no easy doors to walk through. Everything I’ve achieved has been the result of sheer determination, grit, and, above all, the undeniable hand of God on my life. I’ve had to fight for everything, build my own platforms, and trust that where I lacked credentials or connections, God’s purpose would prevail. Read more>>

Mav Mayoral

This has been my reality since I was a kid. I’ve always been different whether it was how I dressed, walked, talked, or the fact that I didn’t really have male friends when I still identified as a boy. Being myself wasn’t always easy, but it taught me a lot.

My family helped me feel confident in that difference, even as immigrants from small, traditional, and conservative villages in Oaxaca, like San Bartolo Coyotepec (known for their black pottery), they questioned societal norms and supported me in experimenting with my expression. That confidence gave me the strength to stand out, even when it made me an easy target. Read more>>

Purpose Destane

I’ve been able to maintain consistency in my self-esteem and confidence by never being afraid to be myself. However, it became more challenging as I got older, because I realized I was unknowingly dealing with what I call CAWPT Syndrome. CAWPT is a “disease” that affects your performance, character, integrity, and more, all because you care too much about what others think of you. Read more>>

Hannah Wen

Being the only one who looks different in a room can feel intimidating at first, but it’s actually an opportunity to stand out. Embrace your uniqueness and own your confidence—people remember those who are authentic. Use your difference to your advantage and offer fresh insights. your background or experiences could provide valuable viewpoints others cannot. Coming from a multi-cultural background, I often find myself creating more connections because of my difference, as others will often be curious about my journey. It’s not about fitting in but standing out. Ultimately, your difference can become a powerful tool, making you memorable and influential in ways you might not expect. Read more>>

Daleyna Adkinson

As a marketer, my passion for diversity, equity and inclusion/inclusive marketing was fostered in spaces with bosses, leaders and executives who looked just like me. Navigating how to confidently show up in spaces where I am the only one has been a tough skill to gain and honestly, something I am still working on to this day.

My first three bosses were black women. My first promotion was given to me by a black woman, a lot of what I learned and how to maneuver in the corporate environment came from these women. I believe they recognized my potential and while I was paid to do a job and perform at a high level, what these women also provided was mentorship. The conversations and moments beyond work that taught me the soft skills associated with navigating the corporate environment. Read more>>

Brown Care Collective

Funny enough, Brown Care Collective came together because each of us had often been an anomaly in the room. We’ve learned to leverage our differences, knowing our perspectives and insights are valuable.

We lean into authenticity and lead with our unique cultural identities and experiences. Even when we’re alone in the room, we know we are never truly isolated. We carry the wisdom, resilience, and dreams of our communities with us. Read more>>

Bryan Schwebke

I guess there are a lot of ways to interpret this questions. But, when I hear it I think of it as being the person in the crowd that is walking the opposite direction of everyone else. It’s something I take a lot of pride in. I think a lot about the concept of having an outlier mentality—and how I identify as an outlier. So many people hear that word and think of it negatively, like being the outlier on a test who didn’t score well or not fitting in with the group. But I’ve always seen it as a badge of honor and a positive. It’s something I’m extremely proud of, something that defines who I am, and something that has made me successful. Read more>>

Karen L. Collins

“Looks” like mine comes in different variations, such as worship styles, skin tones, musical likes, teaching likes, etc. In 1968, when Ennis was integrated and I entered the third grade as a student at Stephen F. Austin Elementary, I was picked on and bullied.

This surprise attack came from my own race and while playing on the swings with a girl who was the total opposite of me: I was a dark skinned, chubby person who was black, and my friend was a light skinned, skinny person who was white! It must have caused a stir because I was called Uncle Tom, Oreo cookie, Little Sambo, Piggly Wiggly, the “N” word, all by my third-grade black counterparts. Read more>>

John (jingyuan) Li

Being the only one in the room who looks like me—whether because of my race, gender, or another part of my identity—has certainly presented challenges, but it’s also been a major opportunity for growth. At first, I felt like an outsider and worried that I wouldn’t be taken seriously. Over time, I realized that my perspective is not just valid, but valuable. Being in spaces where I might be the only one who looks like me has forced me to own my individuality and be confident in sharing my unique point of view. Read more>>