Charles Chan Massey shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.
Hi Charles, thank you so much for joining us today. We’re thrilled to learn more about your journey, values and what you are currently working on. Let’s start with an ice breaker: What is a normal day like for you right now?
A normal day?!?!? Hah! Every day is different but they all start with at least one cup of strong coffee. That’s a must for me, even when I’m on the road, which happens quite often, as my husband Joseph and I really love to travel and explore new places as well as revisit more familiar ones.
We actually do have somewhat a routine when we’re at home. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday are gym days. We are also members of three different walking groups so those keep us busy and socially active on Wednesday afternoons and Saturday & Sunday mornings.
As I type this, I’ve just fed our two kitties, Teddy and Tigra, taken Joseph a cup of tea in bed, and am sitting at my desk savoring the first cup of coffee of the day. Let’s see where the day leads us!
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
My name is Charles Chan Massey and my husband Joseph and I split our time between our homes in Southern California and Victoria, British Columbia.
We refer to ourselves as “unretired,” meaning that while we initially made the decision to retire early back in 2020 when COVID literally decimated SYNAXIS Meetings & Events, our SoCal-based meeting and event management business, a former client called us back into “active duty” in early 2024. It was nice to be made to feel relevant once again and now we work with this client 2 to 3 times per year, keeping our fingers on the pulse on the industry.
We also manage a non-profit called The Personal Stories Project, a 501(c)3 organization that serves as an online story archive for the LGBTQ+ community and our allies as well as an indirect fundraising conduit for more than 20 other community based, grass roots organizations.
It’s a labor of love, and I like to say that it helps us help others in a meaningful way.
Amazing, so let’s take a moment to go back in time. What’s a moment that really shaped how you see the world?
Back in 2012 I randomly ran across a YouTube video called “It Could Happen to You” about a young man who had lost his partner in a tragic accident.
It went into detail about his experience and I couldn’t shake how it made me feel. Several other “signs,” I’ll call them, happened shortly thereafter and I decided I needed to do something with it, whatever “it” was.
Up until then I had been one of what I’ll call “those lazy gays.” Open and proud, sure, but from my perspective, demonstrating, protesting, and activism in general was for “other people.”
Later that same year, The Personal Stories Project came to be. Over the next several years, while I was trying to find my “way” as a 50-something fledgling activist, professional and personal relationships and friendships either evolved or came to an end and it’s really just within the past several years that I’ve learned to balance these intersecting aspects of my life.
Was there ever a time you almost gave up?
I’ve been through a lot of “stuff” in my 61 years on the planet.
Personally, coming to terms with my sexual orientation was a tough period for me. I came out to myself in my late teens and by 18 I made it “official.” That resulted in expulsion from my college fraternity, as being openly gay wasn’t terribly popular at the time. The next several years weren’t fun with family members either but eventually everyone in my immediate family came to terms with me living as my authentic self.
Professionally, I eventually made my way to California, had my first experience working for an absolutely horrible boss in the retail industry, left that job, and found my way back into the hotel industry, a field where my career had begun as a bellman during college.
I took an entry level job at a family run-hotel that ultimately became the impetus for a career in hotel sales and marketing that carried me through the late 1980’s and into the mid-1990’s.
In 1990 I became an indirect “casualty” of the first Gulf War, and while I remained employed during that period I was reassigned to an operations position and I was absolutely miserable. It didn’t help that I had yet another boss whose personality and ethics clashed with my own, so eventually I left that job without having another one lined up – a big “no-no” as far as my family was concerned.
Back in the day, companies ran what were called “blind ads” in the local newspapers, soliciting resumes from people interested in whatever job was on offer, so I took a chance and mailed my resume with a cover letter and a short time later I was back in hotel sales working for a wonderful woman who eventually took me with her to her next assignment.
Ultimately, I became director of sales as a small boutique hotel property in West Hollywood but something was still missing. I finally realized that just like my father, his father before him, and their ancestors as far back as I can trace I, too, had the entrepreneurial gene. So I started my own “thing” that eventually became a boutique event management firm, SYNAXIS Meetings & Events.
Eventually my husband Joseph joined me as partner and together we built a well-respected small business with clients and projects literally all over the world.
So back to the initial question “was there ever a time when you almost gave up?” Absolutely.
I went through some dark periods after working for some not so nice people. Fortunately, the good people far outweighed the bad ones, and while I almost threw in the proverbial towel on several occasions my genetic drive, tenacity, and perseverance won out and I became successful in my field as well as in life, building long-term friendships and relationships along the way.
Alright, so if you are open to it, let’s explore some philosophical questions that touch on your values and worldview. Is the public version of you the real you?
I’d say my public persona is fairly close to the real me. With me, what you see is what you get, especially as I get older. I find that I seem to be losing my “filter” – and I didn’t have much of one to begin with!
I’m also a deeply passionate person. When I get something on my mind I have to take it to completion, even if my ADHD delays and distracts me along the way. To that end, I always have a lot of projects going on simultaneously. Eventually I finish them all, but not necessarily in a logical order, and when I finish one, another seems to take its place.
I think most folks who know me well would agree with this self-assessment.
Thank you so much for all of your openness so far. Maybe we can close with a future oriented question. What is the story you hope people tell about you when you’re gone?
I hope that people who knew me would talk about how I worked hard to help others, especially the marginalized. I mentioned earlier that I chose a path of activism later in life than many. Other than marching in the occasional Pride parade, my first act of “active” activism was when Joseph and I went to Washington DC in April 2015 for the Obergefell v. Hodges hearings. Later that year the court ruled in our community’s favor in a 5-4 decision, affirming that same-sex couples had the right to legally marry nationwide.
In June 2019 Joseph and I attended the Stonewall events in New York. This series of celebrations marked the 50th anniversary of the 1969 Stonewall riots. While there, we joined the Queer Liberation March commemorating the original march from 1970. The 50th anniversary march started with 8,000 participants at the Stonewall National Monument and grew to 45,000 people as others joined along the way. I remember we were all chanting “use your privilege – join the march!” and clearly folks heard and listened!
These days I find that I’m more of an “armchair activist,” as I call it. I tend to share other peoples’ content from my home office computer and, of course, help amplify folks’ stories via The Personal Stories Project.
Contact Info:
- Website: personalstoriesproject.org/ and synaxismeetings.com/
- Instagram: instagram.com/projectpersonalstories and instagram.com/chazmassey/
- Facebook: facebook.com/charles.s.massey, facebook.com/PersonalStoriesProject, and facebook.com/synaxismeetings,
Image Credits
Photo credits: Charles Chan Massey
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