“Empathy is the starting point for creating a community and taking action. It’s the impetus for creating change.” – Max Carver
We think Max Carver got it right and that if we truly care about community building and making positive changes in the world, we have to invest in learning about how to become even more empathic as empathy is at the heart of true understanding. We asked some deeply empathic leaders to share their perspectives below.
Kyle Ruffin
Growing up, I watched my parents come to the rescue of others. They were the kind of people who cared deeply for those in their lives and helped whenever it was in their power. I like to think that I care because it was modeled for me. After helplessly watching my father suffer and die from congestive heart failure, and my sister die from cancer, I knew that when my mother suffered her first stroke, I needed to do what they would have done if they were still alive. My relationship with my mother wasn’t always ideal. Read More>>
Julia Brogdon
As a young girl, I can remember noticing the underdog…the left out…the ostracized. I truly believe that was a gift that I was given at an extremely early age. I have always been a “chameleon” of sorts and honestly until recently only saw the negatives. For years I didn’t feel seen. I didn’t feel enough. I enjoyed encouraging others and being in their corner, but also wanted that for myself and felt invisible for so many years. I remember there always being different friend groups everywhere I went, and somehow I fit into them all. Read More>>
Rachel Blain
I’d often follow teachers home in my mind. Even as a child I realized that people are not just the roles they play in front of us. Teachers weren’t just teachers. They were each a vibrant, rich, unique human life serving a multitude of roles – educators, yes, but parents, friends, caregivers, athletes, and more. From a young age, I’ve wanted to know people. Really know them. I often thought, and still wonder, What would it be like to be a fly on the wall in their home? What is their marriage like? How do they act with their kids? What is like to sit around their dinner table? Read More>>
Donald Massard
The easiest answer could be “I grew up poor.” But many people did and do still, and still manage to lack empathy for others. The real answer is simple, but multilayered. I grew up poor and around people with great intentions, but shaky follow through. That and a young lifetime of mishandling relationships, jobs, & spirituality, eventually lead me to only trust or rely on myself and what I could control. I became militant about my zeal for “do what you say & do what was right…no matter what.” And of course, I fell. Went through a divorce, bankruptcy, & threat of losing my job. Read More>>
Flo
By far putting myself in someone else’s shoes. You know that saying, “hurting people do hurtful things”? It’s really helped me to develop empathy and compassion for other human beings because we don’t know what trauma or hurts a person has gone through. We don’t know what kind of day they’ve dealt with possibly riddled with disappointments, emergencies, stress, and/or anxieties. A lot of times we see a human being walking in the grocery store, standing in the subway train, sitting across from us in the Dr’s office, in school, or at work with a “poker face” but we have no idea what’s going on beneath the surface. Read More>>
Mary Angelini
I was crushed when I realized that NO ONE would hire my daughter, despite her love of service, hard work and bubbly personality. This discrimination is incredibly common for adults with SPECIAL ABILITIES. In Wake County there are 68,000 people living with a disability, only 18% of adults with a disability are employed. That’s why Gabi and I are focused on employing as many people as possible. We currently have over 40 employees at our 2 nonprofit companies. Read More>>
Melissa Moore
I feel very fortunate to have worked with a diverse population which has definitely grown my empathy. I’ve worked at a YMCA in Minneapolis for over a decade that has a variety of diversity from age to culture to race to religion to ethnicity, and on and on. I believe it’s true that the more you get to know someone, the more you understand them, and out of that comes empathy. At least that has been true in my life. Read More>>
Katy Gish
Put yourself in other people’s shoes. Everyone else in the world has not had the same advantages, experiences, and outlook on life as you. When you are in the streets with the homeless, in 3rd world countries helping, and with the people that work the hardest you can just start to grasp how lucky you have it. Sometimes it only takes one act of kindness, one smile, or one laugh to turn around someone’s day. Sometimes it only takes that one act of kindness to change someone’s life. There is a quote I live by that is actually now tattooed on my arm that reads “Help. Others. Progress. Everyday.” (HOPE) This is to remind me to smile more, laugh more, and help other people every day, no matter how small. Read More>>
Jill Staats
During my 15 years working in Human Resources, I supported employees going through marriages, birth/adoption, divorce, death, and disability. Bearing witness to life experiences is a great teacher. I saw the shock in the face of a 23-year-old woman who learned she needed a hip replacement. I watched a 65-year-old man tell his colleagues he volunteered for termination of employment when in fact he had been laid off. Read More>>
Adrian Mayse
As a gay black man from the south, I learned early to truly follow the golden rule, “treat everyone as I would want to be treated.” For me, that is the basic human principle. We all have experiences that have shaped us into the individuals that we are. We should be able to recognize and give grace to people who may be having a bad day, or even a rough time in their lives. Read More>>
