“Empathy is the starting point for creating a community and taking action. It’s the impetus for creating change.” – Max Carver
We think Max Carver got it right and that if we truly care about community building and making positive changes in the world, we have to invest in learning about how to become even more empathic as empathy is at the heart of true understanding. We asked some deeply empathic leaders to share their perspectives below.
Heather Kranz
Growing up in Albuquerque, NM with a plethora of exotic pets and a loving family, it wasn’t hard to find opportunities to learn about empathy. My father was a career Navy man, who had graduated from the Naval Academy and lived all over the world with my mother before my sister and I came along. My mother was an artist and animal lover who never shied away from a challenge. My parents imparted an appreciation for diversity in our world and encouraged my sister and I to show kindness to all creatures great and small. Read more>>
Skye Gouge
Dogs are the reason I can empathize with humans. Decades ago I was another person, angry, scared, and very out of balance. I disliked humans in general, I was a Waiter for a long time and while I had a few great regulars over the years the mental beat down was very hard, and taking care of my family wasn’t happening at all anymore by the mid 2000s. I fell into the stuff grooming world by accident, because of the way I grew up I wasn’t phased by much and I started helping inform and teach the clients once I realized it wasn’t a normal thing to have knowledge on dog care. That in turn helped me understand sometimes people are just dealing with what’s in front of them and it’s not a personal thing, “They are doing the best they can!” My best friend would say. Read more>>
Meghann Gotcher
A few things that helped me to be more empathetic to those around me was active listening, not just listening to respond. But listening to understand. Giving my full and undivided attention to the other person trying to convey their thought, opinion or feeling. Then validating them in that moment. Letting them know that I did truly care about what they were saying. Paying attention to body language is another helpful queue when trying to become more empathetic. Watching the facial expressions or maybe nervous gestures. Then helping to ease their mind by explaining different or just asking “is everything okay” or “do you have anything you want to add…” Asking questions is important as well because in order to know how someone feels or what they’re thinking you need to ask them. Gaining feedback in a way that they feel they’re being understood and heard. Read more>>
Kyson Willis
Life circumstances, really. My older sister had a virus attack her brain when she was 21 days old. She lived, however, she only had a functioning brain stem. She taught me not to judge others because you don’t know what they’re going through. I hated derogatory names because “retard” was such a common insult and I spoke up every time I heard it. Growing up trans, pan, and poly in a small heavily Christian and conservative town gave me a taste of what it’s like to be seen as something that isn’t who you are. And also taught me the importance of listening and honoring others for their experience and inner truth. I was bullied a lot and always felt out of place, being able to understand someone, to show empathy, became my goal. I didn’t want anyone to feel as isolated and misunderstood as I did. Read more>>
Diana Cius
Human connections. By how my words and actions affect others and in turn how their reactions affect me.
Not too long ago my empathy, that I’d fostered all my life, was at an all-time low during a dark and empty period in my life. My apathy got the better of me, I felt hopeless, disinterested, I just didn’t care about anyone or even myself. Yet a single interaction with another person was all it took to alter my whole outlook and change the trajectory of my story.
I started a new job only 3 days after my mother’s funeral. While I was given the option of pushing out my start date a few weeks by HR, I had declined. I needed to start work again. We also desperately needed another income after I was laid off just before Christmas 2023.
I believe things aways happen for a reason. I was able to spend the previous 6 weeks being my mom’s primary caregiver and nurse, her advocate and final confidant; My days had blurred into nights, my nights into days where every day felt the same yet was uniquely different as I cared for my terminally ill mom. I really didn’t know what to do with myself now that she was gone, empty days with only my own thoughts terrified me. I craved routine again. Read more>>
Phil Luna
My aunt Veronica. My earliest memories of growing up are of the time I spent at my mother’s parents house. I had a lot of cousins and my grandparents were loving kind people. I remember the house was filled with love, cigarette smoke and the sounds of the Mexican radio station.
The person who had the most profound effect on me was my aunt Veronica. She had Down Syndrome. I dd not know this. All I knew was that she was the kindest person I have ever known. We played together and talked about many things. It wasn’t till later, as I matured that I realized she was had a different perspective on life: innocence and love. She taught me many lessons that I carry with me today. Read more>>
Andreia Saboya
Empathy didn’t come naturally to me. It was something that I had to witness in the receiving end to truly grasp it. Considering I didn’t get much of it growing up, I knew very little about how to show it to others.
In 2016, my boyfriend passed away and the way my friends and family showed up for me and gave me so much unconditional love really taught me what empathy and compassion really look like. It was a deeply transformational moment in my life – a dark night of the soul for sure. Read more>>
Nicholas Cicio
The conditions that allowed me to develop my empathy were nothing short of extraordinary—and not in the way you’d expect. I’m 27 years old now, but my early twenties were a chaotic mix of poor choices, survival, and lessons that completely reshaped me.
I was a good kid. I graduated college with a degree in architecture and a 4.0 GPA. I had big dreams, ambition, and all the potential in the world. But life had other plans. I spiraled into a gambling addiction that derailed everything. I sold my car, maxed out my credit cards, and fell so far down the rabbit hole that I became a full-time drug dealer just to stay afloat. Read more>>
Christian Gooden
The conditions that allowed me to develop my empathy are related to experiences I had with myself, family, and friends. I believe these circumstances began with my family. These were the people I grew to know and understand first. My parents, siblings, and close-knit family members helped me comprehend how to be open with certain things. There were always things that needed to be heard, but there were also things that needed to be said. As I grew (and continue to grow), I realized that understanding my own feelings, sharing my feelings, and learning how to deal with them helped me understand how important they were. Not only were my emotions crucial for growth, people that I love, and care for also have emotions that are key. Read more>>
Farrah Brown
First off, I come from very humble beginnings. My family did not have much in the way of finances, but love was the glue that bonded us together. While socio-economic status presented challenges in and of itself, those experiences laid the groundwork for my empathetic nature today. As time progressed, I began to see beyond my circumstances to realize that many people around me were experiencing hardships and lacked support. At that point, I was convinced that helping people was my calling – through advocacy, social support, or mental health care. My heart softened and my eyes opened in such a way that I could not turn back, nor did I want to do so. Read more>>
Kyle Denman
The conditions that allowed me to develop my empathy were shaped by a combination of my personal experiences, my diverse background, and my journey through both the fashion and nonprofit worlds. As an Asian, gay, and adopted individual, I grew up navigating multiple identities that often felt like they didn’t fully belong in the spaces around me. That sense of otherness and the need to constantly adapt gave me a heightened awareness of how important it is to understand people’s emotions, struggles, and lived experiences. Read more>>
Alicia Brown
Growing up, I was very sheltered and thought that everyone shared the same upbringing, beliefs, and perspectives that I had. I didn’t realize how much I had been insulated from the diversity of experiences and challenges that others face.
When I went out on my own, life had a way of showing me that the world is much bigger and more complex than I imagined. Through my own struggles and missteps—sometimes winning, sometimes losing—I began to see that other people’s journeys were just as nuanced and meaningful as my own. Those moments of “bumping my head” helped me realize that empathy comes from being open to other people’s stories, listening to their experiences, and acknowledging their unique challenges and triumphs. Read more>>
Sarah O’hop
In some ways I’m a natural empath, in part because of how I was raised. I do think empathy is a muscle that can be developed though, and I’ve seen that in my own life over the past 4 years. That’s when I started making products to provide connection for my customers – connection to memories and loved ones, most of whom have passed away. Finding myself in this grief support niche was not something I originally intended, but now I see how my natural empathetic tendencies made me an ideal person to serve my customers in this way. As I’ve heard so many stories from so many people who are grieving loved ones, I continually realize that we each have our own lives, loves, and struggles. It’s hard to assume the worst about anyone when you see this every day! Read more>>
