Freya Graf on Life, Lessons & Legacy

We recently had the chance to connect with Freya Graf and have shared our conversation below.

Freya, so good to connect and we’re excited to share your story and insights with our audience. There’s a ton to learn from your story, but let’s start with a warm up before we get into the heart of the interview. When was the last time you felt true joy?
On a dance floor, throwing shapes with reckless abandon and full of expression, humour, and creativity. Usually at a camping music festival where I can dance under the sky, with my feet on the earth. Nothing beats it!

Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I’m Freya, a Holistic Sex Educator & Coach and Yoni Mapping Therapist with a passion for holistic health and personal development.
I keep it real, raw and relatable when it comes to talking about sex, relating and bodies, and I’m on a mission to dismantle the shame, taboo and stigma shrouding these important topics by having open and vulnerable conversations about them through my work with women – and on my hilarious podcast The Labia Lounge.

My early journey with sexuality has been fraught with challenges, trauma and deep patterns of shame, insecurity and shut down. Once upon a time I even used to wear bathers in the shower with my long-term partner due to crippling self consciousness around my naked body, wrap my fingers in clingwrap if I touched my genitals because I was so repulsed by them, and would almost burst into tears when faced with a close-up cock!

My own self work to heal and transform this area of my life was what set me on a path to specialising in supporting others in this realm and why I’m now so passionate about helping others liberate themselves sexually and heal their sexual shame and wounding.

Because of my personal experience with how my sexual “stuff” severely impacted my life, relationships, and how I moved in the world, I now have an incredible level of compassion and empathy for those battling with difficulties in this area and am therefore in a unique position to support those who struggle with orgasm, self love, body image, sexual trauma, and lack of confidence in the bedroom.

I have a deep understanding and respect for what it is to be a human in the patriarchy and am continuously amazed and filled with gratitude for the opportunity to work with folk in such a special and important way. At the same time, I believe in never taking myself too seriously and find great pleasure and playfulness through my reverently irreverent sense of humour.

With a background of study in Kahuna massage, internal pelvic release work, facilitation, early learning, yoga teaching, tantric bodywork and sacred sexuality, I work to inspire, educate and empower, supporting you to cultivate a fulfilling and life changing relationship with your body and sexuality!

I offer one-on-one Yoni Mapping Therapy (YMT) and Internal Pelvic Release Work (IPRW) sessions for vulva-owners, as well as online sex coaching and education programs for the whole gender spectrum, the world over. I’ve launched an epic 3 month online course called Queen Out and pour my heart, soul and lots of laughter into my podcast where I interview incredible guests about all things womanhood, sex, vaginas, relationships, holistic health and self development!

I believe that sexual empowerment is the most potent path to a deeply embodied and fulfilling life, and that nobody deserves to settle for crappy sex, toxic relationships, shallow connections and a lack of intimacy.

I’m committed to helping people level up their sex life, transform their relationships, enhance their intimacy and learn to access more pleasure, self love and confidence in their body than they knew they could feel!

Appreciate your sharing that. Let’s talk about your life, growing up and some of topics and learnings around that. What relationship most shaped how you see yourself?
Having a narcissistic parent enormously shaped me – and handicapped me. I’ve spent my whole adult life trying to heal and reprogram myself after growing up being manipulated and groomed to feel unlovable by an immature and toxic father. Though I wouldn’t wish this upon anyone, and it’s an ongoing battle to overcome the deep-seated beliefs and insecurities that were instilled in me, I must attribute some of my head-strong qualities, self awareness, and firm boundaries to this relationship. I had to develop these parts of character to protect myself and survive from an early age.

If you could say one kind thing to your younger self, what would it be?
You’re doing the best that you can with what you’ve been dealt and you deserve better. Don’t let your parents or experiences dictate how you feel about yourself because you are lovable and you are amazingly resilient, creative and unique. This isn’t celebrated where you come from, but it should be and it will be.

I think our readers would appreciate hearing more about your values and what you think matters in life and career, etc. So our next question is along those lines. What would your closest friends say really matters to you?
Always putting myself out of my comfort zone in order to grow and improve myself. It’s important to me to do the scary thing, even though I don’t want to, because I’m committed to always growing and evolving as a person, and leading by example. I’ll put myself on the line and take the risk, in order to show others what’s possible.

Okay, we’ve made it essentially to the end. One last question before you go. If you retired tomorrow, what would your customers miss most?
The listeners of my podcast, The Labia Lounge, would miss the safe space I’ve created on that platform for the facets of humanity that’re usually relegated to the shadows. There’s a community of die-hard listeners who regularly write to me to let me know that the podcast has changed their life, saved their relationship, or helped them heal or grow in all sorts of empowering and incredible ways. The feedback I get is phenomenal and the permission that I give people to just be real and raw and unfiltered/unmasked is something I think people would miss.

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