How did you develop your confidence and self-esteem?

Confidence can open doors and is at the heart of so many amazing success stories across industries and disciplines and so we’ve always been interested in learning how we can help our readers and community members increase their confidence and self-esteem. Below, you’ll find highlights of some of the great conversations we’ve had on this topic.

LaKeisha Pope

1. How did I develop my confidence and self-esteem is such a loaded question for me, yet interesting. From my childhood into my young adult life, I was not sure what the words confidence and self-esteem truly meant. I believed that I needed validation, pats on the back, and being told I’ve done a great job by family members or friends; that was my degree of confidence and self-esteem. Read more>>

Megan Wilder

I think the main thing that helped me to develop my confidence and self-esteem, especially in my career, was doing a lot of introspection and really figuring out exactly what I want to say, how I want to say it, and what that looks and sounds like. There’s such a sense of clarity and empowerment that comes from getting to know yourself really well again and being true to who that person is.  Read more>>

Charlie Mato-Toyela

My confidence and self esteem come from several places, some within and some without. You are told when you’re very young to always be honest, what people don’t tell you about is how far that really goes. If you can be completely honest to someone you care about and not feel fear of hurting their feelings, then you can be completely honest!  Read more>>

Nick Chase

That’s easy. You just fake it until you can convince enough people that you know what your doing. Then try to learn some more and figure out if you actually know what you’re doing. I was a chef before I became a butcher so I had an idea of what breaking beef is like, just not on the scale that I was going to do when the shop opened. But once you break one cow, all the others are the same, it’s just a matter of practice.  Read more>>

Aviram Spies

When I was in 5th grade, a few friends and I decided to start a band together called “Fata Morgana,” which refers to a mirage one sees in the desert. Even at that young age, we took ourselves very seriously: we rehearsed together for hours every week, we performed in festivals, and we even recorded various singles together.  Read more>>

Briana Norman

For me, I struggled with self esteem during high school because I was getting bullied a lot. To make myself feel better I start to do makeup on other people. I thought that if I made other people feel better, it would in turn make me feel better. Well, it turns out I was right! When I did other people’s makeup, I started to see their beauty which made me recognize mine.  Read more>>

Shoko Yanagisawa

Living in a new country as a young adult was a turning point for my confidence and self-esteem. At 20, I left Japan for Malta, wide-eyed but utterly speechless. Ordering food was an adventure, and introductions were a blur of smiles and nervous laughter. Read more>>

Chantelle Douglas

It’s crucial to acknowledge that each of us is uniquely designed with our own special purpose to fulfill in life. Through my personal journey, this truth has been consistently reaffirmed, leading me to be fully confident in my identity without feeling inferior to anyone else. Read more>>

Amanda Crocker

I think both confidence and self-esteem building are evolving things — something that I’m always working on. For me, the process looks something like this: getting an idea in my head that I want to try at something, being brave enough to actually take the action steps (even really small ones at the start) to try that thing, trying to remind myself that if I “fail” I have actually just learned what does not work — and that I need to realign instead of quit, getting little glimpses of success, and continuing moving forward and growing. Read more>>

Sara Rossi

I developed my self esteem by starting small in my career. I asked a lot of questions and got a lot of good teachers on set. I accepted my mistakes and always worked on changing my inner dialogue and negative self talk , that is still a work in progress for me….meditation really helps. Read more>>

Tahj’ee Smith

Since as early as I can remember, I always challenged myself. Anything I could find measurable of some sort, I challenged myself in and worked to be the best. That unintentionally drove a competitive mindset in me as well. When critical thinking became more prominent in my everyday thinking, I knew that if I can control my mind to believe what I want it to; only thinking of the best outcome, who could possibly tell me otherwise?  Read more>>

Tye Threats

Confidence and self-esteem are qualities that I believe are developed through experiences and introspection, rather than traits we are simply born with. Contrary to the idea that you either have confidence or you don’t, I see it as something that must be actively developed. Read more>>

Tekla Taylor

My parents were always incredibly proud of me, and encouraged me to be confident. They had high expectations, which can cut both ways – but my ability to delight, astonish, and impress them showed me that I could do the same wherever I went. Read more>>

CJ Greco

I think a lot of my confidence has truly come from being able to live as my true self. For the past 6 years, I have been out as a trans person, and I’ve only grown happier and more confident every day since. I remember a time when even doing the bare minimum felt terrifying and exhausting; but ever since being able to express myself in a way that feels euphoric, my self-esteem has never been higher.  Read more>>

Emily Sloan

I love this question. 🔥 This is the question for so many of us. I know it was something I struggled with for many years. I often doubted myself, second-guessed my decisions, and was exhausted from indecision and insecurities. It took time, but building my confidence came from knowing myself, liking myself, and ultimately, trusting myself. Read more>>

Elyn Kazarian

I have developed my confidence and self-esteem over time by pushing myself to do or say things that I would otherwise think in my mind to be too hard or fearful of. The more I have put myself in those positions, the more my confidence has grown, and the more I have grown as a person. Read more>>

DeNesha Moss

This is a GREAT question. I’m going to try to be as transparent as possible because I know a lot of people struggle in this area. Whether it is a struggle for you or not, this is an area where I believe 100% of people would find beneficial in their efforts of living successful and productive lives. Life has its way of knocking us down over and over and over and over again.  Read more>>

Amanda Maxwell

It was no accident; it was a choice. Confidence never came naturally to me. Growing up, I perceived confident individuals as off-putting, perhaps egocentric, but that viewpoint was colored by my own trauma. I relied on the mantra ‘fake it till you make it.’ It required an honest self-assessment and a journey towards self-confidence and self-esteem. Read more>>

Maura Lightfoot

My sense of self and confidence in who I am stems from both my upbringing and my lived experience choosing to step out of my comfort zone. When I was growing up, my parents consciously sought to raise strong women. My father regularly asked me and my three siblings if we loved ourselves and it wasn’t enough to say, “yes” – we had to emphatically say, “I love myself!” I have come to appreciate how simple and strong this foundation of love and confidence was in how I saw myself. Read more>>

Leslie Aghoghovbia

Ohhhh mannnn! What a question! I’ve been obessed with the concept of confidence for the longest time. Growing up, I never understood what exactly made people be, or appear to be, confident. Was there something they knew that I didn’t? And where can I find this thing so that I can feel confident too. Read more>>

I developed my confidence and self-esteem through a journey of self-discovery, embracing both my strengths and vulnerabilities. By setting ambitious goals, pushing beyond my comfort zone, and persisting through challenges, I learned to trust in my abilities and value my worth.  Read more>>

Sam Swartz

Sometimes circumstances don’t care about your “readiness” and you just get volunteered into a situation that you must face. And the great part is, you can surprise yourself in your ability to deal with what is thrown your way! So in this way, our response to life and how we deal with it instills, albeit surprisingly, an inner confidence because you just DID that!  Read more>>

Arch Jamjun

My confidence and self-esteem really didn’t begin until I started performing. One day, when I was in my mid-twenties, my father asked what I wanted to do with my life. I’ve always struggled with this question because I’ve always wanted to write and perform. That isn’t something that’s feels reliable and when I was young it felt like an all or nothing proposition.  Read more>>

Chloe Mares Cox

I love this question because this is an area that my clients and I spend a lot of time working on. I think through evolution that our brains were wired to have self doubt so that we won’t think we’re invincible. The thing is in our world that doubt has been fanned like a fire so now most people are walking around with no self love. Read more>>

Michael Momoh

my confidence and self esteem comes from my acceptance of who I am, accepting my insecurities, reviewing past experiences that made me who I am and also my ability to face challenges and be bold. Read more>>

Bianca Moscia

It took a long time to truly develop my confidence and self-esteem and it’s still an ongoing journey for me. I’ve come a long way from where I once was though and I realized that the more I challenged myself to do the things that scared me, the more confident I was becoming. Whenever I noticed some fears come up when an opportunity arises or I’m in an unfamiliar space I view it as an opportunity to grow. Read more>>

Tijen Petersen

I started dancing at the age of 3 and trained for thirteen years in classical ballet. Identifying as a dancer from a young age, I have always been aware of my body. I have felt beautiful. I have felt imperfect. I have felt strong. I have felt uncomfortable. Growing up, I found that most of my thoughts about my body were focused on how to make it better, thinner, stronger, more desirable in the eyes of society. This train of thought was on a continuous feedback loop and impacted my overall self worth. Read more>>

Bosky Mukherjee

This has takes lots of learnings and unlearnings in life and career but one experience very early in my career made a huge impact on how I built my confidence every day for the last 23 years. My first manager consistently belittled me. Every interaction left me questioning my worth. My self-confidence was low, and I wondered if I was even fit to work in a company. Read more>>

Bob Bradley

I’ll be forward in telling you that my self-esteem was lacking while growing up. I was thankful to eventually find my way by surrounding myself with friends, peers, and mentor figures who excelled at whatever they were passionate about. As I got older, I realized that maintaining confidence and great self-esteem comes from putting your ego aside, keeping an open mind, being a great listener, and asking lots of questions when possible. Read more>>

Nathan Peck

From the time I can remember up until I was 23 years old, I moved at least once every 3 years. I wasn’t a military brat, but a construction brat. My father worked for the same construction company for 40 years and we moved to wherever the next project was located. It was exciting to live in four different states and at least 10 different physical residences. I learned that home wasn’t a physical location, but wherever my family and loved ones were located. Read more>>

Lacey Newhard

In my experience, the key to confidence begins with accepting a rather counterintuitive notion: no one cares about you, or what you’re doing. It sounds pessimistic, but I promise, it isn’t. It’s a lovely, humbling, and freeing reminder that you can do whatever you want, and that the perceived judgement from the world around you is all in your beautiful little head. Read more>>

Koa Kuroda-McCormick

Skateboarding is one of the most vulnerable, emotional and mentally stimulating sports I have ever done and still do. And in order to keep skating, I have to have a strong foundation of trust in myself. I have to be comfortable with the uncomfortable and be ok to fall. And from these falls, I view them as lessons. Read more>>

FEDLEINE JEROME

I was always a naturally a very confident kid when I was younger, but after years of bullying and ridicule from kids at school and family, i became a shell of myself. I was often reprimanded for speaking my mind and questioning the status quo. I soon learned to hide that part of myself, stay small and stay quiet so that people could like me. I learned how to be invisible so that i wouldnt get picked on. Read more>>