Jaimee Jakobczak’s Stories, Lessons & Insights

Jaimee Jakobczak shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.

Hi Jaimee, thank you for taking the time to reflect back on your journey with us. I think our readers are in for a real treat. There is so much we can all learn from each other and so thank you again for opening up with us. Let’s get into it: Are you walking a path—or wandering?
I think I spent the greater part of my adolescence believing that I understood the path I was walking on and to a greater extent, where it led. It wasn’t really until a couple of years ago that I took a step off that path and realized that maybe it’s not that I was wrong about where it led, but if I was ever even really on it at all. So I spent a couple years wandering… backwards. At what point did I step off the path? Was there ever really a path at all? Did I invent the crossroads that I’d come to and did I make the correct choices when presented with alternative pathways? In wandering I found that I didn’t really have those answers and had to come to terms with the idea that perhaps I never would. These days, I wander with purpose. I understand that some directions lead to more favourable outcomes than others and by that I just mean ones that align better with my own values, but ultimately I’ve had to give way to the idea that any one of these pathways I come to are laid out for me personally. I think I was born to wander and wonder.

Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
My name is Jaimee Jakobczak and I’m a musician, technician and activist that runs a music and travel based blog called Crooked Forest. It’s always sort of hard to pin myself down to any one avenue because I dart in all sorts of different directions all the time – that’s deeply coded in my DNA as someone who lives with ADHD and something I’ve had to learn to appreciate about myself over the years.

With Crooked Forest I try to highlight artists that might get lost in the static of the ever-growing collection of bars and beats in the world. I focus on artists that have a message that aligns with my personal music goals which is to tackle difficult conversations to allow us the opportunity to feel understood and to heal from our lives greatest burdens and challenges. Due to the nature of the content we get into, Crooked Forest is also meant to serve as a resource for those who might need assistance narrowing down where to go or how to cope with things like addiction, trauma or abuse. We have a resources page because we understand that creative people like ourselves often use creative outlets as a sort of therapy, but sometimes it’s not enough to just create – we need to tackle the issues head on, too.

Right now Crooked Forest is working on connecting more with artists globally and those who work with mental health organizations in order to further bridge these connections. Ultimately when you spend time with us, we want you to know that you’re not in this – whatever it is – alone.

Thanks for sharing that. Would love to go back in time and hear about how your past might have impacted who you are today. What did you believe about yourself as a child that you no longer believe?
Growing up in Canada, I often believed the world around me and all those who helped run it – our governments and politicians, always had the best in mind for us. We had clean water, clean neighbourhoods, access to great schools and as I’d grow up I’d believe that there would be no real barrier to entry in anything I wanted to do; Surely the world would not work against me!

As a grown woman, I’d come to realize how hilariously naive it all was. The more my eyes opened to the world around me, the more I’d understand that this is just not true and many people don’t have access to things even as basic as clean safe drinking water. There are incredible barriers to success in Canada, and even more as a woman and even more still as I understand it for Indigenous peoples, people of colour and vulnerable and marginalized groups, like those with disabilities and those who identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community. While I no longer believe that there are no barriers to entry or these types of obstacles, I am increasingly empowered to work towards changing this and fighting for equal opportunity for all of life’s necessities.

When did you stop hiding your pain and start using it as power?
I have been holding in pain for so much of my life that for a long time I really didn’t know any alternative. I started doing it as a child and allowed things to just compound and compound for years. Slowly over time, I started to unravel and this often happened in unhealthy ways. I didn’t understand that a lot of what I was doing was only further masking the pain and trauma that I wasn’t releasing. Just before I turned 30 I made a conscious effort to allow myself to share the things I was most afraid of and most hurt by. It was incredibly difficult. With every admission, I’d unravel further, but this time I knew it was healthy. I was letting it out and not allowing it to constrict me in my life anymore. As I’d let go, I’d become more confident – I was understanding myself and my emotional responses better and understanding that this difficult path was the necessary one I’d been neglecting for so long and how it had impeded my opportunity to grow into the person I wanted to be. I did this with music – it felt safer to share my stories through songs because it provided a bit of a safety cushion – if I wasn’t ready to fully share the story, I could share the song which still allowed it to escape my system. These days I’m an open book and my most harmful vices are gone. I’m still working on some of them, though, of course – I’m not sure this kind of thing has a finish line.

I think our readers would appreciate hearing more about your values and what you think matters in life and career, etc. So our next question is along those lines. What do you believe is true but cannot prove?
I consider myself spiritual and I understand that that’s a pretty vague term that can mean a myriad of things, but when I use it what I mean is that I believe more than anything in energy. I can walk into a room and feel a certain sense of energy even when I’m the only person in it – sometimes it’s incredibly anxiety inducing and others it can be the most calming sensation in the world. When we as mortal people leave this Earth, I believe for an extent of time (and for some of us longer than others) our energy remains. It’s I guess what some people would consider a connection to the afterlife. Of course all of this is impossible to prove. If you’ve never had an experience that tested your faith in this type of mystery, you’d look at me like I have 17 eyes for suggesting it, but I don’t think anything would ever make me change my mind that we do have this incredible ability to connect with each other and the Earth in this way when we are open to receiving it.

Thank you so much for all of your openness so far. Maybe we can close with a future oriented question. What will you regret not doing? 
Trying.

I feel like I wasted a lot of years simply not putting in the effort and allowing myself to do something poorly out of fear or embarrassment that it wasn’t reflective of the output I wanted to give or believed I should be capable of. When you allow yourself the opportunity to simply do and fail, you allow yourself the ability to learn and succeed. You can make small steps towards progress once you understand your shortcomings, but you can’t progress at all if you don’t make a move.

I never regret failing. I always regret not trying.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.crookedforest.ca
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/crookedforestcanada
• Other: https://www.neithercoulddylan.ca