Joseph Frew-Miller on Life, Lessons & Legacy

Joseph Frew-Miller shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.

Joseph, we’re thrilled to have you with us today. Before we jump into your intro and the heart of the interview, let’s start with a bit of an ice breaker: What is a normal day like for you right now?
Waking up early, driving 75 minutes to work, preparing for my students, trying to get my students to understand the importance of learning and work ethics, driving back home 75 minutes, shower, dinner, bed, repeat.

Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I am Joseph Frew-Miller, PhD. I’m approaching the point in my life when I must decide what my retirement will look like. I teach film studies at a 9-12 college and career academy. I paint on the weekends when I can find the time. I recently retired from acting because of health reasons, which was such a difficult thing to give up.

I am interesting in that I have had so many experiences in my life. I worked in carpet manufacturing for 16 years and then went into education. I worked my way through earning a PhD in college administration only to discover that I would rather be in the classroom. The more marketable content area seemed to be mathematics, instead of my love for music.

After the death of my older son, I took a chance on learning filmmaking. I only wanted to get out of the classroom where I was told that my son had been in a fatal car crash. I just could not handle being in that space every day. My only option at the time was to change content areas. I did and it was a fantastic decision.

I have recently fallen in love with painting. I have now been painting for three years and have had a quite successful showing. My art is not of one specific topic, theme, or genre. I love to paint whatever I see that interests me. It may be sunsets, turning leaves on the mountainside, boats on a serene lake, flowers, birds, dogs… it doesn’t matter.

Thanks for sharing that. Would love to go back in time and hear about how your past might have impacted who you are today. What was your earliest memory of feeling powerful?
My earliest memory of feeling powerful was the moment I stepped away from a 31-yr marriage.

I got married knowing that it was a mistake. I was gay, but was too afraid to admit it. So, I got married thinking that it might “fix” me. I was miserable.

It wasn’t until after 31 years of marriage and the death of my older son that I realized that my life was miserable. I opened up to my then wife and we made the decision to separate. I love my sons, but the relationship was not healthy for me.

I stepped away to discover my true self. It was the most powerful, liberating, and empowering decision I ever made.

I am now happily married to my husband and living my best life.

What have been the defining wounds of your life—and how have you healed them?
The most defining wound in my life was the death of my older son. I’m not sure I have truly healed. There is not a day that passes that Sean is not in my thoughts. I just have to believe that he is in a happy place right now and I will see him again one day.

Alright, so if you are open to it, let’s explore some philosophical questions that touch on your values and worldview. Is the public version of you the real you?
It used to not be. I used to put up a front to most people. Only a few people knew the real me. Some encouraged me to be my true self, while others encouraged me to keep it all hidden. I have to say that being my authentic self has been the most powerful thing in my life.

Before we go, we’d love to hear your thoughts on some longer-run, legacy type questions. When do you feel most at peace?
I feel most at peace when I am at home, with my husband and fur-daughter, and painting.

Contact Info:

Image Credits
Valeria Tannuzzi [credit for pictures of me].
The other pictures are of my art.

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