Life, Values & Legacy: Our Chat with Alyssa Bette

We recently had the chance to connect with Alyssa Bette and have shared our conversation below.

Good morning Alyssa, we’re so happy to have you here with us and we’d love to explore your story and how you think about life and legacy and so much more. So let’s start with a question we often ask: Are you walking a path—or wandering?
I actually love this question. I would say I’m walking a path that feels aligned to who I am and who I’m becoming. I really believe my purpose in life is to turn my pain into power and use my story to speak to the people who are struggling in silence. My mission has always been to make people feel less alone and remind them that being human and being messy and having mental health challenges isn’t something to be ashamed of.

But I also think wandering is a huge part of finding your path. For a long time, I didn’t know how to show up for myself or for other people. I didn’t know who I wanted to become or what I wanted my life to look like. The wandering was necessary. It taught me what I didn’t want, what didn’t feel aligned, and it forced me to grow.

I still wander. I think it’s important to stay curious, step off the beaten path, and keep rediscovering yourself. Sometimes the wandering is what brings you back to your purpose and reminds you why you started in the first place.

Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I am Alyssa Bette, the founder of Mindfull Mode and Milara. I am also a content creator and the host of the Full Minded podcast where I talk about trauma, healing, relationships, confidence, and the real side of being human. My life did not start easy. I grew up in a home with abuse, neglect and religious trauma. I carried that into my teenage years and early adulthood. I struggled with addiction for a little over a decade and lived in survival mode for most of my life.

Everything changed when I started telling the truth about my experiences. Mindfull Mode was born out of that honesty. It is a mental health jewelry and accessory brand that turns struggle into connection. I created it because I never saw mental health represented in a way that felt authentic, fashionable, or empowering. I wanted people to feel seen and supported in their healing journey instead of feeling shame or isolation.

My second brand, Milara, came from a different part of me. It is a hair accessory company built around creativity, fashion, and self expression. I have always loved style and I wanted to build something physical and beautiful that reflects confidence and individuality.

Everything I create comes from the parts of my life that almost took me out. My mission is to make people feel less alone, to normalize the messy parts of healing, and to show that your pain and your purpose can come from the exact same story.

Amazing, so let’s take a moment to go back in time. Who saw you clearly before you could see yourself?
My best friend Hayley. She saw me clearly long before I ever learned how to see myself. For some reason she always knew I was built for something greater even when my life looked like the opposite. She pulled strength out of me when I couldn’t find it on my own. She believed in the version of me I hadn’t grown into yet and spoke to the winner in me before I ever started winning.

Hayley showed me what real friendship looks like. She loved me with honesty. She called me out when I was spiraling and she never abandoned me in my darkest moments. She told me the truth even when it was uncomfortable because she wanted the best for me. She held space for the messy versions of me and reminded me that I was still worthy.

She was the first person who showed me unconditional love in a friendship. She helped guide me out of the eras of my life when I was doing reckless things or choosing people who did not choose me. She guided me out of places I did not know how to leave. I will always be grateful for the role she played in my life because she didn’t just see me. She helped me become who I was meant to be.

Was there ever a time you almost gave up?
Honestly, there were too many moments to count. When you live your life carrying that much pain, addiction, shame, and no self worth, it feels almost impossible to believe things will ever get better. When every emotion hurts and substances feel easier than facing yourself sober, it is so easy to feel like you are drowning in your own life. There were chapters where I did not think I had a future. I truly believed that the world would be better off without me. I thought I was doing myself and everyone else a favor by disappearing. Those were the darkest days of my life, and the fact that I am still here is something I never take for granted.

Alright, so if you are open to it, let’s explore some philosophical questions that touch on your values and worldview. What would your closest friends say really matters to you?
Honesty and loyalty. Those are the two things my closest friends would say matter the most to me. My life is very public and I share so much of myself online, so in my personal relationships I value confidentiality and trust more than anything. When I tell someone in my circle something, I want to know it stays there. I protect my people and I expect the same in return.

Honesty is just as important. I think when people are not honest with you they are limiting your growth. The most impactful relationships I have ever had are with people who were never afraid to call me out and tell me the truth, even when it was uncomfortable. Those who remind me that I was designed for more and challenged me to become it. I think bluntness and truth are one of the highest forms of love. I show up that way for my friends and I surround myself with people who show up that way for me. Loyalty and honesty are the foundation of every meaningful relationship in my life.

Okay, we’ve made it essentially to the end. One last question before you go. What do you understand deeply that most people don’t?
I understand what it means to crave love and also be terrified of it. Living with Borderline Personality Disorder and growing up without emotional safety wires you in a very specific way. You want connection, stability, and security more than anything, but your nervous system is trained to expect abandonment. So you end up fighting for the very thing you’re afraid of and pushing away the very thing you want.

Most people think relationships are only hard when you pick the wrong person. I’ve learned that sometimes they’re hardest when you finally have a healthy one. Your past becomes the loudest voice in the room. You start to question your worth, your safety, your identity, and whether or not someone can actually stay.

I understand the contradiction of wanting to be fully seen and also feeling the urge to run when someone gets too close. I know what it’s like to self-protect so intensely that it becomes self sabotage. I know what it feels like to crave a life you don’t yet believe you deserve.

But I also understand the transformation that happens when you stay long enough to let someone prove your fears wrong. When you let love in slowly and learn how to hold it. When you finally realize you’re not too much, you were just never given safety to begin with.

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