We’re looking forward to introducing you to Kelly Wong. Check out our conversation below.
Kelly, really appreciate you sharing your stories and insights with us. The world would have so much more understanding and empathy if we all were a bit more open about our stories and how they have helped shaped our journey and worldview. Let’s jump in with a fun one: What is something outside of work that is bringing you joy lately?
Recently, I decided to give dating a chance, which has been on my mind for a while, but I won’t lie I have been afraid of dating for years now, and I have been so scared since my last relationship ended over a 10-second phone call. It traumatized me for a while, but I am thankful it happened because if it hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have met my current boyfriend. I have had a difficult past with dating, stemming from a habit of being okay with things that weren’t okay. It took time to realize it wasn’t a good habit, and I learned that there is a difference between being nice to someone and just swallowing unnecessary drama. After getting dumped over a 10-second phone call, along with many abusive relationships, both emotionally and sexually, I was at a point of wanting abstinence from dating because I felt like I could only fight for so long without wanting to die internally every time. It was 3-4 years of abstinence from dating, and it was needed because I finally set my boundaries in place, and when I met my current boyfriend, I was really firm with what I was okay with and not okay with, and if he accepted it, then awesome, and if he didn’t, I was okay as well. But 1 year later, and we are going stronger than ever, and he never once disrespected my boundaries and always asks to make sure I was okay with plans before they happened. It was as if everything I had manifested in a relationship came into the light, and he checked off every single thing I wanted, and even more that I didn’t know I wanted. We always make sure we go on a date 1-2 times a week, and on a date, we always make sure we spend 7-12 hours together so we always maximize our time together, which was something I wanted in a partner for a long time and I didn’t think I would get that. Definitely, my dating life has been a 180 from everything that I have dealt with in the past, and I couldn’t be happier.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
Today I am a cancer researcher, and I have been involved for 2 years now, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. This work is important because cancer varies and everyone is different and responds to treatment differently. That is what makes research special and interesting because we are constantly learning something new.
Amazing, so let’s take a moment to go back in time. What did you believe about yourself as a child that you no longer believe?
I admit I was a pushover to the point of being very mellow and letting everything slide. I did it for the sake of not inconveniencing the other person but then it eventually got to the point of it being out of control, and even then I let it slide. Yes I admit it was my fault for constantly letting things slide but at the same time, i was told for years to let the guy take control but then it was getting to the point of me losing my mind and that was when I realized the lesson I learned. Those people who I have realized took advantage of me still come back today to ask me for those same favors and are now surprised I have said no. I basically tell them, ” I have realized you took advantage of my kindness and I am not letting it slide anymore because I am no longer happy being in your life because of what you did to me in the past”. Then I leave it at that, has it ended friendships, yes, but I have filtered my friends, which brings more peace into my life because I now know what it truly means to have internal and external peace.
Was there ever a time you almost gave up?
Yes, many times, and I won’t lie, I have had dark thoughts. About 3-4 years ago, when I was broken up over the phone after being together for so long, that was when I thought everything was against me because I was stuck in a situation I didn’t want to be in. The person that I relied on the most was gone, and that was when I realized I had built a codependent relationship, which made it sink in why it became so toxic. However, I was having issues navigating through it all because I was forced to put on a smile every day due to the work I was doing. I was a teacher at the time, and I needed to smile every day because my students needed me, and I couldn’t help but feel guilty that they were seeing me at my worst. I felt like I wasn’t able to give myself a break, and all I wanted was to disappear, and of course, some days were harder than others of either no sleep, no eating, or just purely focusing on work because I had three part-time jobs at the time and one full-time job. All I wanted to do was escape, but something constantly reminded me that no matter how dark things get, it will be worth it at the end, and I am happy it did because if I didn’t go through that, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.
Sure, so let’s go deeper into your values and how you think. What’s a belief you used to hold tightly but now think was naive or wrong?
I used to think that being a scientist, you need to be smart and know everything. But that is 100% a lie because technology and new discoveries are constantly coming out, which opens doors to discoveries and opportunities. There is never one to discover something it takes multiple discoveries to prove something. It doesn’t take being smart; it takes skills, discipline, practice, and constantly learning. No one is expecting one to memorize everything it isn’t realistic at all I have learned that the number one skill a scientist needs isn’t being smart, it is being passionate about what you’re doing. If you’re not passionate about what you’re doing, there is no point in continuing. It is fundamental when it comes to careers but especially important for being a scientist because it takes a long time to make discoveries and there will be good days and bad days with a million thoughts and opinions shot at you.
Okay, we’ve made it essentially to the end. One last question before you go. Are you doing what you were born to do—or what you were told to do?
I feel like I was born to be a scientist. All my friends envisioned me being a teacher, but in reality, I hate grading, and it is the biggest nightmare for me. But at the same time, I love science and I love making discoveries, and I love working together with people, and I love working alone, which I feel like I am in the best of both worlds.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kellwo548/?hl=en
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