We recently had the chance to connect with Lori Fertel (Cox) and have shared our conversation below.
Good morning Lori , we’re so happy to have you here with us and we’d love to explore your story and how you think about life and legacy and so much more. So let’s start with a question we often ask: What are you most proud of building — that nobody sees?
What I’m most proud of building isn’t a product, a brand, or a strategy — it’s the inner foundation that all of those things come from.
People see the designs, the products, the photography, the brand growth, and the momentum… but what they don’t see is the alignment, the clarity, and the inner work that makes all of it possible. I’ve built a mindset and an energetic foundation that supports everything I create: trusting timing, listening to my higher self, following inspired action, and choosing joy as the path — not the reward.
A big part of that has been learning when to hand the reins over to my higher self. I’ve come to understand that when I let go, when I stop pushing, and when I allow, something better ALWAYS comes through — in delightful and exciting ways I never could have orchestrated myself. My personal alignment is everything. If I know that things are always working out (and they truly are), my only job is to stay as joyful and as open as possible.
Along the way, I’ve built resilience, faith, and a deep connection to my own creativity. I’ve built the ability to pause when something isn’t aligned and to move quickly when it is. I’ve built the inner confidence that the right opportunities always reveal themselves, even when the path looks unclear.
Because without that inner foundation, none of the visible success would feel meaningful — or sustainable. What I’ve built on the inside is the part that gives everything else its magic.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I’m Lori, the founder of Extremely Stoked® — an eco-luxe surf & beach lifestyle brand rooted in vibrant, feel-good design, sustainable materials, and pure aloha vibes.
My brands are truly a labor of love and something I feel I was born to create. Extremely Stoked® was inspired by the success of my first company, Surfer Bedding™, and the deep knowing that my purpose is to bring the coastal aesthetic I adore into apparel, home goods, and beyond. The designs I create — from bold Hawaiian prints to surfy plaids and clean, coastal classics — are intentionally timeless, always fresh, and always fun.
Right now, I’m developing new organic bamboo apparel and bedding collections while expanding into wholesale and licensing. Everything I create is guided by alignment, joy, and inspired action — and that energy is woven into every product, every pattern, and every part of the brand’s evolution.
Okay, so here’s a deep one: What breaks the bonds between people—and what restores them?
In my experience, the bonds between people usually break when someone stops seeing you clearly and starts projecting their own fears, expectations, or limitations onto you. It happens when someone tries to tell you who you should be, what your path should look like, or what they believe is “realistic” for your life. Doubt, judgment, and misalignment can create distance — not because of lack of love, but because someone is speaking from their own unaligned perspective.
But what restores those bonds is always the same:
knowing your own self-worth, clarity, compassion, love and forgiveness.
Once you know who you are — once you stop seeking external validation and stand firmly in your own alignment — the hurt loses its power. You can see that everyone is doing the best they can from the level of understanding they’re operating from. You realize that their doubts weren’t about you at all; they were about their own fears.
Forgiveness becomes easy when the story shifts from “they should have known better” to “they were learning, just like I was.”
And ironically, the stronger you become within yourself — the more you choose love over resentment, alignment over reaction — the more your relationships naturally harmonize. Sometimes that means reconnection. Sometimes that means peaceful distance. But the bond that truly matters is the one you restore within yourself.
Because when you restore you, everything else either restores or releases in the most aligned way.
Was there ever a time you almost gave up?
There have been times when I felt like giving up — not because I didn’t love what I was creating, but because I couldn’t see how it was all going to come together. I remember feeling tired, unsure, and wondering if the universe had forgotten the vision it once gave me.
But here’s the surprising part: the moment I reached that edge — the moment I emotionally “gave up” — something shifted.
It was as if the universe said, “Perfect. Now that you’ve stopped trying to control this, let me take over.”
What I thought was giving up was actually me letting go of resistance. I wasn’t quitting; I was releasing the tight grip I had on how things should happen. I was handing the reins to my higher self — the part of me that sees the entire path, not just the piece right in front of me.
And once I did that, the most delightfully surprising things started happening. Opportunities I couldn’t have planned for showed up. Ideas started flowing again. The right people came into the picture. Moments of clarity dropped in exactly when I needed them.
Looking back, those “I can’t do this anymore” moments were never the end.
They were the reset.
They were the space where something better could slip in.
Now I understand that feeling like giving up is often the universe’s way of nudging you into surrender — trusting, allowing, and letting the bigger plan unfold. And every time I’ve let go, what came next was always more aligned than what I was trying to force.
I think our readers would appreciate hearing more about your values and what you think matters in life and career, etc. So our next question is along those lines. What’s a belief you used to hold tightly but now think was naive or wrong?
A belief I used to hold very tightly was the idea that I needed something — or someone — outside of me to feel happy, loved, or fulfilled. I thought my joy depended on circumstances lining up just right, or on other people behaving a certain way.
Now, I know that couldn’t be further from the truth.
What I’ve learned is that happiness is something you cultivate from within. You can be unconditionally happy — or at least lean toward happiness — no matter what is happening around you. And when you do, it’s pure magic. Life starts unfolding in ways that feel aligned, uplifting, almost magically orchestrated, and always far beyond anything I ever imagined.
There’s a Bible verse about being joyful in all circumstances, and so many spiritual and universal law teachings say the same thing in different language: choose joy first, trust that something good is always unfolding, and let your inner state lead the way.
I used to think that was unrealistic. Now I know it’s the most powerful thing you can do.
Once you cultivate the belief that something wonderful will come from whatever is happening, everything works out — and the experience becomes genuinely fun. And the best part? I’ve learned I can be completely happy on my own. I love people deeply, but I can have a party with me + me anytime. That inner fullness shifts everything.
We’re conditioned to feel sad or upset when life doesn’t go as planned. But I’ve learned that staying aligned, centered, open, and willing to be happy anyway is the real superpower.
Choosing joy under any circumstance isn’t naive.
It’s freedom.
And it’s changed everything for me.
Okay, we’ve made it essentially to the end. One last question before you go. What do you understand deeply that most people don’t?
That circumstances don’t matter — only your state of being does.
Your vibe, your mood, your alignment… that’s what shapes your reality. When you consciously choose your mood — and if you’re not there yet, simply lean toward it — things begin to shift. It’s the practice of being unconditionally aligned/happy/joyful that changes everything.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.ExtremelyStoked.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lorifertel
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lori.cox.22/
- Other: https://instagram.com/extremelystoked
Image Credits
Provided by Extremely Stoked®️
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
