Love Atiya of New York City on Life, Lessons & Legacy

Love Atiya shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.

Love Atiya, a huge thanks to you for investing the time to share your wisdom with those who are seeking it. We think it’s so important for us to share stories with our neighbors, friends and community because knowledge multiples when we share with each other. Let’s jump in: What do the first 90 minutes of your day look like?
Since I own a self care company, I think it’s super important to lead by example, that’s why I’m very vocal about self care and my relationship with self-love.

I’d definitely say I put a lot of effort into my morning routine since it serves as the foundation for my entire day and really sets the tone energetically.

The first thing I do when I wake up is try to remember to smile. I heard that smiling has a positive effect on the brain, so I like to make it part of my routine.

From there, I’ll usually do a mix of the following:

Meditate with a guided meditation, Om’s, or sound bowls

Pull an oracle card

Write in my journal

Vent in a voice note

Stretch

Drink water

Brush my teeth

Apply an Ethereal Face Masque

Take a shower

Think or say a positive affirmation (or two or three)

Text my parents before diving into work

And if I’m in a GREAT mood, I’ll probably start the day by cooking or making a cup of tea. If I’m in a janky mood, I’ll head to the gym to get my body moving and redirect my energy. I will absolutely say I see a difference in the way my day goes based on how it starts off which is why I’m VERY particular about my morning communications.

Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
My name is Love Atiya and I’m the founder of The Ethereal Pleasure Academy, a mission based brand focused on self care and self pleasure. At the heart of everything I do, is the belief that self love and pleasure aren’t luxuries, they’re a birthright.

One of the biggest influences on my journey has been my mom Traci who was very instrumental in my life when it came to helping me understand the importance in creating a relationship with myself.

When I was 16 years old, my mom gifted me with my first self pleasure tool for exploring my own body. At the time, it felt a little funny and maybe even a tad bit awkward but looking back, I see how powerful that moment really was. It wasn’t just a gift, it was her way of showing me that caring for myself, listening to my body, and embracing pleasure could and should be safe, natural, and free of shame. That experience planted the seed for the work I do today.

What makes The Ethereal Pleasure Academy unique is that it’s not just about products or routines. It’s about creating spaces where people can unlearn shame, reconnect with themselves, and cultivate a relationship with their bodies that feels nourishing and empowering. Through The Ethereal Pleasure Academy, I design courses, workshops, and workbooks that center self-pleasure as both a healing practice and a radical act of self-love for women.

My hope is that anyone who comes across my work feels seen, softened, and reminded that they are worthy of deep pleasure, just like my mom reminded me all those years ago.

Thanks for sharing that. Would love to go back in time and hear about how your past might have impacted who you are today. What was your earliest memory of feeling powerful?
My earliest memory of feeling powerful happened sometime around the age of 5. I can’t remember the exact age, but to give you some context, I’ve technically been a business owner since I was 4, selling fans in the backyard during my mom’s customer appreciation BBQ for her business Imani Jewelry. I’ve lived a lot of lives in these 31 years.

Before I became a pleasure activist, I was an animal activist and I still am to this day. If you know me, you know I’d almost always prefer the company of animals over people.

From early on, I knew my mission was clear: save the animals.

I honestly can’t recall exactly how or when I learned about petitions, but I was homeschooled at the time and exposed to a lot of radical, empowering teachings. So, me knowing about petitions at a young age wasn’t really all that surprising. My parents also taught me about Malcolm X and other Black freedom fighters when homeschooling me, so activism was never foreign to me.

One day, I became so fed up with deforestation and the fur trade that I decided to write two petitions for President Bill Clinton to sign. I’m not sure what exactly sparked my outrage. Maybe it was all the animal documentaries I watched that ended with, “Unfortunately, due to deforestation, this animal is now endangered.” Maybe I was just coming back from the store, exhausted from silently praying over every fur coat I saw. Or maybe it was a combination of all of the above.

Luckily for me, I had just met President Clinton a few months prior. My dad, a high school principal, had arranged for his school’s band to perform for Bill’s arrival at the airport in New York City. Afterwards, we got to meet him in person and even take pictures. I guess after that, in my young mind, he became my “homeboy” and was the one who could make sure my petitions got to the right people.

I still remember asking my mom how to spell “due.” I knew I wanted my petition to start with “Due to deforestation,” but couldn’t figure out if I needed “do” number one or “due” number two. You can imagine how confusing that was for a child’s brain. After she told me the right one, she gently asked, “Do you need help spelling deforestation?” But I didn’t… I was very clear on that part. I knew exactly how to spell it.

I felt so proud of myself. So powerful. And I even got a lot of signatures, including one from my cat, Little Sue.

That early memory of being supported in my activism blossomed as I got older. The older I became, the more radical I grew. And the more radical I grew, the more unapologetically I got things done.

Was there ever a time you almost gave up?
Fortunately, my spirit cannot be broken. Many have tried, and they did not succeed.

I have faced obstacles that were not only discouraging but sometimes downright petty. Still, my mission has always felt bigger than the problems at hand.

When I first launched my business, I was banned from receiving payments within the very first month of operating. My payment processor only gave me three days to find an alternative. And when I did start searching, many of the processors that were willing to work with me charged outrageous fees simply because my pleasure-centered business was considered “high risk.”

It has not just been financial hurdles. I was locked out of The Ethereal Pleasure Academy’s TikTok account for four months with no real support, only endless loops with an automated customer service bot. Even something as simple as hiring a website designer turned into a battle when one man I interviewed pulled up explicit adult content during our call, which forced me to call him out publicly afterward.

Then there is the constant shadowbanning and censorship of my educational posts, content meant to empower people with educational tools for accessing pleasure, while accounts with names like “thedickdoctor” post freely without consequence on Tiktok.

The list of obstacles feels endless, but for me, the fight to decolonize pleasure for women will always outweigh the difficulties. Every challenge is a reminder of how important and necessary this work truly is and it’s honestly what keeps me going.

I think our readers would appreciate hearing more about your values and what you think matters in life and career, etc. So our next question is along those lines. What’s a belief or project you’re committed to, no matter how long it takes?
I am committed to helping women reclaim pleasure not just sexual pleasure, but the fullness of experiencing pleasure in everyday life. Because in reality, a life without pleasure is a life of pain, discomfort, sadness, disconnection and DIS-pleasure.

One of the most alarming truths I’ve uncovered is that the word “pleasure” itself is censored on social media… unless it refers to men. Ads about erectile dysfunction are pushed onto our feeds daily, while posts about PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder), endometriosis, pelvic floor issues, or women’s pleasure are muted, deleted, or hidden.

The problem is systemic:

Miseducation

Religion

The patriarchy

Colonization

The solution begins with remembering. At The Ethereal Pleasure Academy, I help women recognize that shame was never theirs to carry, and I provide the healing and gentle tools to release it. Think of the Academy as an online Sanctuary.

When I say “pleasure is your birthright,” it is not a slogan, it is an affirmation. Shame may have been dripped into our veins like an IV, but I deeply believe it can be cleansed, released, and replaced with healthier, pleasure-affirming beliefs.

Okay, so let’s keep going with one more question that means a lot to us: Are you doing what you were born to do—or what you were told to do?
I am so grateful to know that I am doing exactly what I was born to do and then some!

I’m a Virgo, and if there’s one thing I’ve noticed from Virgos who’ve built extraordinary legacies, like Michael Jackson or Beyoncé, it’s that a Virgo will only do what a Virgo feels called to do. And when we create, we give it everything we’ve got. That’s why The Ethereal Pleasure Academy is the first thing on my mind every morning, right after my self-care routine.

I want to save and free animals, and I want to save and free women. I want to free both from captivity, whether it is mental, sexual, or physical captivity.

I was born with a deep knowing that I came here to create a shift, to make moves, to break silence, and to make noise. I’ve never been afraid of that, especially when it comes to fighting for others.

But this year feels different. After the transition of my fur daughter, Tam, I began fighting for MYSELF. I talk openly about this on my podcast, The Love Atiya Pleasure Podcast, and share my journey of self-discovery after grief.

I believe we are all born to meet ourselves again and again, yet the world tells us that is wrong. The world says we should stay the same and not take the time to learn who we are daily. That is why so many people walk through life feeling disconnected and pleasureless. How can we connect with others if we don’t connect with ourselves?

So, I’m finding balance in helping others, while also helping myself through my own teachings and discoveries.

For me, legacy looks like this: I came (literally and figuratively.) I helped free animals. I helped free women. I helped free the vulva. And, in the process, I freed myself, remembering and embodying the wild, free woman I was always meant to be.

Contact Info:

Image Credits
Enrique Carrión
The Lens Goddess

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