We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful A.M. Walters. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with A.M. below.
A.M., thank you so much for joining us today. Let’s jump right into something we’re really interested in hearing about from you – being the only one in the room. So many of us find ourselves as the only woman in the room, the only immigrant or the only artist in the room, etc. Can you talk to us about how you have learned to be effective and successful in situations where you are the only one in the room like you?
As a transgender person, I am aware that I look different from everyone else. With that, I feel it takes an extra level of will power to keep your head up high and push forward. Entering public spaces can be quite intimidating. I have eyes on me trying to “figure me out”, sometimes it feels like judgement, sometimes admiration. Whether I am working on set, lifting at the gym, or running errands I am hyper aware of my differences from those around me.
Masculinity has expectations to behave or look a certain way, and comes with pressure to always be physically strong, brave, and a leader. I have always been masculine growing up, but since becoming an adult and starting my transition I dove deeper in how I can improve these factors within myself.
I push myself harder than a regular person would. I do the heavy lifting, climb up tall heights to set up a light, and volunteer to take action when no else does. I do not stop working until instructed, but sometimes even then I will still find a way to be productive. The confidence I carry to each project or place has given me more opportunities working on film sets, higher job positions, and overall respect.
I mentally, emotionally, and physically lock myself in to not only prove to others but to myself that I am becoming the man I am meant to be.
My looks, which ties into my identity, has helped me grow for the better, it landed me current success and will continue to in the future. Being transgender makes me hyperaware of myself and I work hard everyday to improve that. I don’t see it as giving into the stereotypes of what masculinity is, this is just who I am. I don’t do it to “fit in” because self identity determines on the person, but for myself, living this way keeps me feeling alive, confident and standing out to everyone.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I am in independent filmmaker. My emphasis is on-set production work. I am a writer/director, I work in the grip&electric team, the art department, and a production assistant. I grew up making silly horror short films with family and friends growing up, but ever since entering college at California State University Los Angeles to study TV/Film in 2018, I took my career more seriously and made connections with talented filmmakers and found myself working on sets from feature films, short films, commercials and music videos.
Other than future film gigs coming up for me this year, I am excited to share that I have been writing up a couple of horror stories, and plan to turn those into films to submit to festivals and share with the public. Horror movies are my safe haven, and I am excited to show what kind of horror I can bring to the table. We are currently in pre-production for one of them, and will hopefully start filming this year! I will thankfully be in connects with Walt Perez from Verloren Productions for these projects, who have helped me with my first feature film, The Stationary Bike, a Stephen King adaptation, which will hopefully soon screen live at the Indie night Film Festival and posted up to YouTube later this fall!
I see everyday as a step closer to where I want to be. Regardless of my busy schedule, I make time to keep my creativity alive and execute the visions in my head to life!
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
When it comes to working on film sets, there are high expectations of focus and energy when entering the space. There is a lot of physical labor, especially in the grip&electric department.
I grew up athletic and always keeping active. I exercised at the gym, played sports, and performed for the dance and color guard team.
For the past few years, I have intensely dedicated my fitness journey to weight lifting. With that comes heavy discipline, building strength, and perseverance. I have learned how to properly lift, and how to work through a heavy beating heart due to adrenaline. Pushing my muscles even when they’ve reached fatigue, I realized my body is more capable than what I think. The weight I can lift and push has drastically improved overtime. My perseverance does not let me give up, it reminds me of what I am doing this for, to better myself and become a physically and mentally stronger person. I feel my natural fitness lifestyle kept me well afloat when working 12+ hours on film sets. I have trained my mind and body to keep pushing, which has very much helped me survive this industry.
You do not need to be the strongest or fastest person ever, but practicing positive self discipline and being able to keep going even when its hard can get you very far. Personally, staying fit and keeping active with a well balanced diet and sustainable workout routine has helped me achieve success.
Awesome, really appreciate you opening up with us today and before we close maybe you can share a book recommendation with us. Has there been a book that’s been impactful in your growth and development?
“It Came From The Closet”, edited by Joe Vallese, is a book I recently finished reading that I cannot stop thinking about.
This book is about queer reflections on horror, that contain twenty five marvelous interpretations about horror films written by fantastic LGBTQ+ writers. Each chapter talks about one horror film, and this person discusses how this film shaped and scared them. They explain the queerness from the film, whether it was intended or not, then they tie it in with their own personal queer experience. The films in this book are not unheard of by the way, we enter the world of our all time favorite classics from Psycho, The Exorcist, Jaws, Sleepaway Camp, Halloween, Hereditary, and many more record breaking horror films.
As a trans person myself, reading this book unleashed a side of me that was once lost but now found. These people connecting their queer life to my favorite horror films made me realize why I love horror, it was right in front of me the whole time. Horror is unique, I am unique. Horror is queer, I am queer.
Horror is filled with all emotions in one, it fills one with fear, disgust, excitement, and for many, peace. I feel that ever since reading this book I have never felt more connected to horror. My brain has expanded on how to point out and execute these themes, which has me more inspired to write awesome LGBTQ+ horror content!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.amwalters.work/
- Instagram: https://instagram.com/amwalters12
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/a-m-walters-b7aab3261/
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
