We were lucky to catch up with Aaron Engel recently and have shared our conversation below.
Aaron, so great to be with you and I think a lot of folks are going to benefit from hearing your story and lessons and wisdom. Imposter Syndrome is something that we know how words to describe, but it’s something that has held people back forever and so we’re really interested to hear about your story and how you overcame imposter syndrome.
Imposter syndrome can impact all therapists at one time or another. Clients don’t always get their ideal outcomes from any counselor, so focusing on those exceptions (as the mind often does), can make one feel like a failure. One thing that helped me overcome my imposter syndrome is reframing what it means to “fail.” Past jobs have helped me realize that perfection isn’t attainable and if I learn from these supposed “failures”, it means I did my best, I knew something, and will possibly adapt if necessary.
Another item that helped me overcome imposter syndrome is (as boring as this may sound), data. Data that clients want to see me for multiple visits. Data from surveys show high satisfaction. Information from objective consultation groups. It also helps to have consultation groups to learn that others in my field experience imposter syndrome from time to time as well.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
As a relationship counselor, I help couples to meet their relationship goals. Often this involves working with married couples who want to restore their marriage. It’s exciting to see a couple on the brink of divorce mend disagreements and grow stronger (if that is their goal). I’ve started a relatively new form of couples therapy that involves two days of long sessions to help people get to the root of issues and work on them right away.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
One impactful quality has been my work ethic. I believe having the energy to enthusiastically do my best not only leads to better outcomes but also a more fulfilling career. A key skill in counseling is empathy. Empathy is my number one skill on the Gallup StrengthFinder assessment and has served me well as a counselor. Knowledge of attachment theories and Emotionally Focused Therapy has been a game-changer (I could write for a while on this topic).
I don’t necessarily think one needs to improve on what I mentioned, but can instead identify their strengths and build off of strengths as opposed to potential weaknesses.
Okay, so before we go, is there anyone you’d like to shoutout for the role they’ve played in helping you develop the essential skills or overcome challenges along the way?
A peer consultation group has been the most helpful in allowing me to develop essential skills and knowledge. I am in a profession where continuous learning is important, and this group has helped with continuous learning tremendously.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://cardinalpointcounseling.com
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