Meet Abeeb Oki

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Abeeb Oki. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Abeeb below.

Abeeb, we are so appreciative of you taking the time to open up about the extremely important, albeit personal, topic of mental health. Can you talk to us about your journey and how you were able to overcome the challenges related to mental issues? For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.

The concept of overcoming or persisting, to keep moving forward despite the many shapes and sizes adversity takes, can easily be described as my life story. From the very beginning, I have always dealt with insecurities that have internalized themselves into my core being. I was an extremely skinny child growing up, and I was constantly told how much I needed to put on weight, how much I needed to eat, and how much I looked like a twig. Furthermore, being Nigerian and going to a predominately White school, I could not even accept my legal name until I was in college because I simply grew tired of being made fun of during roll call, when we had a substitute teacher who butchered my name while hearing everyone burst out laughing in anticipation, or when negative stereotypes would be thrown my way because of how “foreign” my name sounded. I believe a combination of these things and more contributed to the depression I deal with in my adult life. There are some days when I don’t have the energy to do anything, and I feel horrible during that because I know there are so much more I can be doing, but then that raises the original question, how have I overcome or persisted despite these challenges. The simple answer is, because I am still here. I believe my life calling is to help others, and by knowing that, I have to continue pushing forward because it is never just about me or what I am going through. I can make room for myself when needed, but I am not the only person to ever experience mental health issues, and there is always someone who is dealing with something far worse. Because of this, I continue to push forward because I want to take my experience and knowledge in the therapeutic world and help people begin their healing journey. It does not matter if it is early or later in life because as long as they begin, the chance for the change they are seeking will always be a possibility, and all I want to be is a pillar that supports their bridge in their journey. That is my resolve and how I continue to persist. By being able to empathize, and by genuinely wanting to help, I am able to feel better by knowing that the knowledge I have gained is serving to help others. In short, I treat people the way I have always wanted to be treated.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

Well, my name is Abeeb Oki. I am 26, and I am currently into three things that have made up my adult life so far. I love working out, I love to write poetry, and I love being a therapist. As far as profession goes, I am a licensed professional counselor-associate under the supervision of Saharah Shrout and Celeste Osborne. I currently work at OATH Therapy in the Houston area serving the OCD population predominately while working with other presentations. As I’ve mentioned, I love being a therapist and believe this is my life calling. I utilize several therapeutic modalities, including, but not limited to, Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Narrative Therapy, and Exposure Therapy. If I had to pick the most exciting part about my work, it is definitely when I noticed the shift for my clients. That shift, to me, is a moment when they become aware of their own progress and capabilities, and it never gets old seeing those realizations come true for my clients, as the ultimate goal is to always help them get back to a place in there life where they feel as if they have more control and autonomy over their behaviors and emotions. When I think about what makes this job special, it is simply that I am able to help people with their trauma. Trauma comes in several shapes and sizes, and not one story is ever the same despite similarities being possible. I get to learn each client’s unique story, and by the end of treatment, I got to know not only who they were, but who they have become through therapy, and that alone is one of the best feelings as a therapist. I also want people to know, you don’t need to be in a “certain stage of life” to start therapy. It does not need to be rock bottom, or when something traumatic happens. I always encourage everyone to give therapy a chance because it is a chance to learn more about yourself, learn coping skills that may be beneficial in the future, and heal from things you potentially were never aware of.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

When thinking about three qualities or skills that were the most impactful in my journey, I think the first one I have to list without question is being empathetic. Being able to understand emotions associated with situations you have not directly experienced and genuinely feel for someone is vital. This isn’t something where you simply read a textbook on how to handle a problem and then try it out with a client. Feelings are involved, and while it is important not to let your feelings disrupt the client’s therapeutic process, it can still be used to amplify it. This ties in with the next important skill/quality, which is balance. There has to be a balance with this kind of work. This kind of work can be emotionally draining, and while being empathetic is good, you don’t have to take on your client’s trauma outside of the therapeutic space and have that impact your own day. Taking care of your mental health is just as important as helping a client with theirs. You have to be able to identify burnout and find coping skills that work for you to be able to be regulated enough. This does not mean you have to be perfect, as we are only human at the end of the day, but we must be mindful of this with each client we see because the last thing we want to do is to show up to a session completely burnt out and not being able to be there for someone who needs us. If I can think of one more skill or quality that feels as equally as impactful, I would have to say that is the desire to learn. As a therapist, you never stop learning. Being done with school does not mean that is where learning ends. There are always new things you can teach yourself to stay fresh and grow more as a clinician. Being stuck in a one-track mind will only hinder one’s true potential, and this applies even outside of being a therapist. With that being said, the best advice I can give to anyone who is early in their journey, regardless of what path they are going down is to always be kind to others, keep an open mind, and listen to understand first, not to respond.

If you knew you only had a decade of life left, how would you spend that decade?

If I knew I had only one decade of life left, I would spend the first 9 years doing what I am doing now. I would continue to serve my client, pursue my gym goals, and continue chasing my dreams. As cliche as that sounds, I don’t think my routine would change until I reached that final year. In that final year, whichever clients I am currently seeing, I would inform them of this, and either refer or discharge them. Any fitness goal I had, particularly in the strongman world, regardless of where I was strength wise, I would put it all on the line and go for it and do my absolute best. I would spent the final portions of my life traveling the world, hopefully having my final moments by a beautiful moonlit beach, feeling the waves crash down on my feet. I would reflect on everything I have been through, and I would post and record one final message to the world: “I am Abeeb Oki, and I want to thank every single individual I have ever interacted with for my experience on Earth. I am grateful for my difficulties, my strengths, the ups, the downs, and everything in between. I love each and every one of y’all, and this is not goodbye, but see you later. Hopefully, that doesn’t sound too dramatic, but I would want my last ten years to be true to myself and what I do. Besides, by that time, my future children will have stories of their own, so I’d want them to know death should never be something to fear, but instead to embrace. It’s the end of the cycle, and time to be proud of all you accomplished while on this planet before transitioning to what comes next.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.oaththerapy.com
• Instagram: therapeutically_abeeb (therapist page) worlds_strongest_therapist (strongman/workout page)

Image Credits

For the lifting photo, credits to @ninjamrn on instagram.