Meet Abi Linhardt

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Abi Linhardt. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Abi below.

Hi Abi, thank you so much for opening up with us about some important, but sometimes personal topics. One that really matters to us is overcoming Imposter Syndrome because we’ve seen how so many people are held back in life because of this and so we’d really appreciate hearing about how you overcame Imposter Syndrome.

I discovered imposter syndrome while pursuing my MA in rhetoric and writing at the University of Findlay in northern Ohio. I had been a writer for some time by that point and had even written a handful of books, poems, short stories, and lots of essays. For some reason during my younger years, I never questioned my worth or the quality of my writing. Perhaps that was the hubris of a young, dreaming writer. What a time that was!
It wasn’t until I was writing essays for publications (something we had to do for the program) that I started to doubt my writing, my thoughts, and even my beliefs about what it meant to be a writer. I remember sitting in the Mac lab one day, staring at this website page we had to create for a journal, and thinking, “You know what? I do not understand the piece I was assigned to review and I think it shows.” My professor might agree with me and even shake her now and say, “I knew it…” But i played it off, stuck to my guns, and published the piece. I soon heard other writers in my program talking about how they weren’t so sure either. This is when my professor gave us a talk about imposter syndrome.
Sadly, I don’t remember the exact words that she said. But I do remember her saying that we are all professional writers. We are master’s degree students. We know what we’re doing and we wouldn’t be there otherwise. That was all it took for me. I suddenly knew I was a great writer and that I was where I needed to be.
Until the thesis defense came around. My thesis was different from the others in my program. While they were writing about society, modern rhetoric, and other smart ideas, I tackled Michael Ende’s book “The Neverending Story” and wrote about how it was truly not just a novel, but a manifesto for writers. You see, I believe writers have a duty and a role to play in our world and the responsibility to the things they write and the people who read their writings. That was my whole stance. It was not what the school was looking for in its master’s students. So once again, I doubted myself and my ideas. I doubted my beliefs as a writer.
It took a lot of back and forth with my committee, but eventually, they okayed the thesis and I was ready for my defense. I wish I could remember how I defended my thesis. That day is a blur. I remember getting a peanut butter and chocolate coffee before the defense in that small room in the library, but that’s it. I was so nervous the night before, I hardly slept. I doubted my words, my thoughts, and ideas. I doubted my editing.
But soon they emerged from the room and handed me a paper with my title on it and three signatures. I had passed. My thesis was accepted. I nearly died then and there. But I still doubted myself. I was still an imposter. I was not a real writer.
That feeling has followed me almost ten years later. I have written over 25 novels and still I doubt myself. I get hired as a ghostwriter and I still I fear I’m not good enough. People tell me they love my series, and something says, “Don’t listen to them, they’re lying.” I have won awards and I still doubt. No amount of validation from others will ever push imposter syndrome away, I am sorry to say. The only way to get rid of it, is to ignore it.
I have worked as a professor of English, I’m a freelance editor and ghostwriter, I’m a novelist. I’ve done these things for years and have become adept at ignoring the bad voice that says. “You suck.” Do I always win and shove it away? Not at all. in fact, I was feeling doubt just this morning as I checked my book sales and saw they had stagnated. The smallest thing can bring back that imposter syndrome and it’s not fair considering how hard we have to work to keep it at bay. How do you keep it away, you might be asking? How can you help yourself? The answer is this: keep writing. Keep doing whatever it is that you have imposter syndrome about. If you keep going, then that spits in the face of the bad voice that tells you you are failing, you are not a professional. Yes, you are! Look at you, doing the thing!
It’s not easy and there is no easy fix. But so long as you keep writing, no one can say you are not a writer.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

I am an author. I am also a writer. I have a day job that takes lots of time away from that, but writing is what I was put on this earth to do. Writing gives me life and keeps me going. I don’t make much (sometimes none at all) money from my books, but that’s not the payment that sustains me. The joy of writing is what feeds my soul. I love typing at my keyboard, even as I am doing right now. I love words. I love how they paint images, can make us smell things, can produce emotions in us. And words make my favorite thing on this planet: stories.
I love books, reading, collecting books, listening to audiobooks, watching movies based on books–everything! My favorite is my genre; I write dark fantasy and horror under a pen name. My books are often dark, gritty, and (as my brother so lovingly reminds me) depressing. As someone who suffers from depression and bipolar disorder, I feel like I do this genre justice. I understand it. But more than that, I see the beauty and life in it. I embrace the darkness.
You can actually find me and my books in Wichita, KS in August at the public library. I’d love to see you there as I sell my books. I also have the last book in my series coming out in November. I am sad to see the series end, but happy to finish the project I set out on almost five years ago. I’d love it if you after you read one of my books, if you could leave a review. Embrace the darkness with me!

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Three qualities that have gotten me this far are: stubbornness, hope, and faith. I know, so corny.
I am the most stubborn person I know. I never give up. I will do something over and over again, expecting different results. If I had a catchphrase, it would be “Fine, I’ll do it myself.” Which I have! With that stubbornness comes a dislike of authority as well. This is what drove me to self-publish. To start my own imprint. I didn’t want anyone telling me what to do. I had a small experience with a traditional publisher and I didn’t like it very much. I wanted to be the author of my own destiny. It hasn’t been an easy journey and the payout hasn’t been what others would call success, but I can’t give up.
My hope in my talent and abilities is what keeps me going. I hope I can make it. I hope my books sell well. I hope someone likes me books. I hope I become someone’s favorite author. Backed up by my ape-like stubbornness, I see myself going far. If I can overcome my personal demons. I hope I can. I think I can.
I have faith that I will make it. Not make it in the way others think, perhaps. I won’t be the next JK Rowling (though, that would be nice!). I won’t be Brandon Sanderson, teaching creative writing in a university (though, I’d die for that opportunity). I have faith that whatever my endgame is, I will be satisfied. My journey might look like a struggle (and at times it is) but it’s all an adventure to me. I have faith that something will work out. I’m too stubborn to quit, anyway. But I will get some success out of this, no matter what it looks like.

Alright, so before we go we want to ask you to take a moment to reflect and share what you think you would do if you somehow knew you only had a decade of life left?

I am an introvert. I am basically agoraphobic. I have an anxiety problem. I suffer from depression and bipolar disorder. This makes getting out in front of people hard. I can’t even do TikTok videos without hyping myself up for hours beforehand. This makes marketing my books hard. I don’t know anything about marketing and I have a hard time learning because I am afraid of failure. Afraid to try. I face this challenge every day and think about it every time I see my book sales flatline. I know it’s my fault. I am to blame. I should figure out marketing and make it big like I see so many authors around me doing.
I also live in a very isolated town. There is nothing around me. The nearest city (Wichita) is two hours away. This mental and physical isolation makes selling my books extremely hard. Not to mention the day job takes up 8 to 10 hours of my day. This all is such a challenge.
But I can’t give up. I do what I can. It’s not much, but it’s better than nothing. I can’t do nothing, no matter the valid excuses I have. Which is why you can find me in Wichita in August! I overcome this obstacle by finding places as near as I can to sell books at. I love author fairs and find as many as I can. There’s not a lot, and I can’t afford to do many (buying books to sell costs a lot). But I can’t just do nothing. I am even driving about three hours away later this year to do an author event at a local bookstore! Those are the hard ones.
The easy part to overcoming this obstacle is ads on line. I run ads on Facebook and Instagram every month. When I don’t I tend to not sell any books. My ads are small, but they reach some readers and every month I sell a few dozen books. That way, I don’t have to put my face out there. Just the book covers on the ads. I don’t spend much as I’m not the wealthiest person, but again, I can’t do nothing.
What I do to market is very little, but it’s something. I always say you cannot edit a blank page and the same goes with overcoming obstacles. You don’t have to do everything, but you have to do something. And small things count.

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