We were lucky to catch up with Abigail Fernau recently and have shared our conversation below.
Abigail, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.
When it comes to my development of confidence and self-esteem my mind goes back to August 2020. In the midst of all the chaos, I created even more by deciding to move to Des Moines at 19. Freshly broken hearted from a young love breakup I was shoved into paying for a new apartment in a new city on my own. Although that year was a daunting and lonely year it was so crucial to discovering who I was. Getting away from my hometown as soon as possible was a wonderful decision. As I sat in my horribly outdated apartment, being creative was how I spent my free nights off work. Though I loved it I was so incredibly hard on myself about all of it. It would take me months to finish a small project due to just being consumed by shame and fear of ruining it because inside I didn’t feel I was good enough to be labeled an artist.
I started attending therapy for anxiety disorders and deeply masked autism and family trauma. After four years of working with my therapist through guilt, shame, inner child work and years worth of CPTSD development, I can happily say there is no more room in my life for me to be hard on myself. Art is supposed to be fun, I am beautiful, and I’m worthy of self-compassion. I’m capable of art forms that people drop their jaws at. All of these things have always been true, but it’s beaten out of a lot of people as they grow up. Self compassion can and always will get me farther than any kind of guilting and shaming my body has learned to survive off of. Coming into myself in the last couple years has been a complete transformation full of strong and growing boundaries, a wonderful partnership with my boyfriend Matt, and breathing life into myself as a confident being. I’ve finished a massage therapy program that rewired the way I think about the human body and self care, and I’m an ever changing independent artist who is eager to learn her next skill. There is really no other way to live on this earth, and have a unique human experience than to love the absolute shit out of yourself and pay attention to what makes your soul sing.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I’m currently pretty focused on developing my artistic career in both my personal business, Grey Cat Creations, and my plant life. For the past 5 months I’ve been working at a local plant shop in Des Moines to have a break from body work after graduation. It’s such a wonderful small group of people. I’m in love with learning about houseplant care and all of the creative aspects of it. My dream is to be a part and curate lively plant and art installations and create spaces where they coexist and compliment one another.
When I’m not taking care of my 50 houseplants I’m researching my next art medium. Starting with acrylic paint from a young age, I now proudly offer digital prints, handmade linoleum prints, crochet work, stickers, and hand printed clothing at my art booths. With the way my brain is wired I need to consistently offer new things, and bounce back and fourth between art forms. Since starting art shows in July of 2023 I’ve met so many people who support my artistic vision, and even want my things on the walls of their houses. Which is just the greatest feeling in the world to me. All I hope from now on is that I will grow as an artist by someday executing murals around the city. And of course, doing body and energy work to put life and movement back into people as they heal what they need to.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Definitely creating strong boundaries with people who didn’t align with how I wanted my life to develop. Of course loneliness is lonely, but the people you allow close to you is such a determining factor on the outcome of daily life. If you let people cross boundaries, it will effect your artistic life, your health, and happiness.
Another lesson that has helped me is to not be afraid to “ruin” a work of art. If you feel the need to change it,
then do it. It can never be ruined because every aspect of the creative process is part of the end result.
Lastly, pay attention to your body. Going through massage therapy school changed my life completely. It changed my view of every human body and what it’s capable of holding onto. And how nurturing it will absolutely change the way you see yourself and the world. I learned just how much bodies can tuck down and hold onto just to feel safe. And, unless you learn how to release that you won’t know how it feels to be free in your body and experience homeostasis. Take care of your body, eat things that it likes and keep it moving in all sorts of ways.
Any advice for folks feeling overwhelmed?
This answer is very short and simple. It’s just to hum. Throughout school I discovered how messed up my nervous system is. Nervous system dysfunction has so many people just trapped in a never ending cycle of survival and hyper vigilance. Whenever you’re feeling off just hum. Deep breathing and humming will completely reset you. Nervous system care is so fun and somatic I highly recommend!!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://Greycatcreations.bigcartel.com
- Instagram: Greycatcreations & abigail.normal
- Facebook: Grey Cat Creations page & Abbi Fernau
Image Credits
Jerrad Downer
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
