We recently connected with Abigail Jensen and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Abigail, so happy you were able to devote some time to sharing your thoughts and wisdom with our community. So, we’ve always admired how you have seemingly never let nay-sayers or haters keep you down. Can you talk to us about how to persist despite the negative energy that so often is thrown at folks trying to do something special with their lives?
Talking about sex on the internet doesn’t always rub everyone the right way. I started Vibe Slut with the mission to help women and people with a vulva feel confident in their sexuality so they could focus on and embrace their pleasure.
I was late to orgasm, not even knowing about the clit until I hit 24 and not discovering what a vibrator could do until 25. But once I found it, oh gods, I really discovered it. I was in my room whenever there was a free second, exploring new ways to feel good in my body, which was a confidence booster because:
1. I could do this. I could provide myself pleasure without anyone else.
2. It gave me a kind of appreciation for my body I’d never known before. Even though I still struggle with body image, like so many women who grew up in the early 2000s, this went beyond the usual worries about how I looked. It was about truly appreciating what my body could do—how much joy it could bring me, regardless of how I looked or whether I was having a “bad hair day.” My body could make me feel like this? That’s pretty damn cool.
I decided then that I was going to devote time to learning everything I could about women and pleasure. Why did it take me this long to experience bliss like this? Why had I never come with a partner before? Why, despite learning about sex education in a pretty liberal public school, did I have no clue what a clit was until the year prior?
Hungry for answers, I dove into books like Becoming Cliterate, Come as You Are, She Comes First, Mating in Captivity, etc, devouring as much information as I could, determined to talk to friends, sisters, friends’ moms, friends’ moms’ friends about orgasming in case they hadn’t experienced this life-changing pleasure for themselves.
But it wasn’t until 2022, when I left my TV industry job, that I had time to devote myself to this mission fully. TV writing had been my dream, but after grueling hours and a lack of personal life, I left and decided to reevaluate what was important to me, what got me excited to wake up in the morning. With time to finally see friends again, I would talk to them about what I loved most — orgasming. And the more I talked to people, the more I realized no really knew anything about it. So, I decided to spread the good word: a disciple of clit with the mission of helping vulva owners orgasm and feel confident in their sex life.
I started sharing my knowledge on TikTok, then eventually made my way to Instagram. My early videos attracted the wrong crowd—men who were outraged to see someone talking about sex so openly. The comments were harsh, filled with things like, “Wow, people will do anything for attention,” “Her dad must be so proud,” and “If my daughter did this, I’d disown her.” I ignored it, chalking it up to the usual internet trolls, and pressed on.
II believed in what I was doing. I knew that if I’d had access to this kind of information when I was 16, I would have walked through the world more confidently—in my body, in dating, and maybe even in my career.
Eventually, my videos started reaching the right audience, and the voices of satisfied women drowned out the noise from angry men. If these guys weren’t going to satisfy a woman, well, damn it, I would—lol! But as my following grew, so did the attention. Most of it was overwhelmingly positive, for which I’m incredibly grateful. However, I wasn’t prepared for the negative comments from people I actually knew. It’s easy to brush off internet trolls as miserable, but hearing that family friends were making comments to my parents? That hit differently.
These were real people whose opinions I did care about because for as confident as I am I’m still human and society has trained us to be ashamed of sex. It’s the whole reason it’s so often bad, if we’re not talking about it how’s it going to be good? I had a moment of self reflection, trying to understand why I was embarassed and if VS was still a route if I wanted to take. Was I disappointing my family or were people talking about me behind my back (my biggest fear as a people pleaser)? But as I journaled through my feelings it hit me… this embarasment and this shame was exactly what made me start in the first place. Exactly why women so often go through their thinking penetration is the solution to good sex— the fear to talk meant we will continue to naviagte sexual relationships the way a patriarcal society would want us to. Queit except when we’re faking our orgasms. So I reminded myself of my mission, why I was doing it, and continued onward knowing that this wasn’t gonna be for all people. and those people were probably having bad sex. What a sad life.
These were real people, and their opinions mattered to me. Because, as confident as I am, I’m still human—and society has conditioned us to feel ashamed of sex, our body, basically, anything out of the norm. I had a moment of self-reflection, wondering why I was feeling embarrassed and whether continuing with Vibe Slut was the right path. Was I disappointing my family? Were people talking behind my back (my biggest fear as a people-pleaser)?
But as I journaled through those feelings, it hit me: this embarrassment and shame were exactly why I started in the first place. It’s the same reason women often believe that penetration is the answer to great sex—because the fear of talking openly about it keeps us silent. And that silence is exactly what a patriarchal society wants: women navigating sexual relationships quietly, except when we’re faking orgasms.
So, I reminded myself of my mission: to break this cycle. I knew this wasn’t going to be for everyone—and those people? They were probably the ones having bad sex. What a sad life.
One of my biggest heroes in life has been my granddad. In his later years, he transformed from a strict, straight-laced man who barely expressed his feelings into someone incredibly open-minded and open-hearted. His opinion meant the world to me. A month before he passed, he found out about Vibe Slut and my goal. Now, I know some people might worry about their 93-year-old granddad discovering they’re on the internet talking about a “taboo” subject. But his response only confirmed to me that I was on the right path.
My mom works for a tire company, and when Grandad saw my post online, he texted her: “I’m so proud of my family. My daughter sells tires and rims, my granddaughter sells pleasure and whims.” That moment was everything to me. The people who get it, will get it. You keep going and fuck everyone else… not in the fun way.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I provide sex education in a fun way that’s not intimidating! I will never make you feel ashamed for not knowing something, and instead encourage the questions, guaranteeing there is no such thing as a dumb question! I share my knowledge on TikTok and Instagram but also provide workshops on my Patreon on things that, despite being educational, would get flagged on social media. The workshops I’m most proud of our “How to orgasm” because I love providing vulva-owners with pleasure but also “how to be on top” because everyone deserves to feel confident in their bedroom skills! It’s crazy we are all expected to be good in the bedroom without ever learning how. So, I provide the how.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Confidence. While self-doubt is a natural part of any journey, my unwavering belief in my mission has been a powerful anchor. Even if I only make a difference for one person, that’s more than enough to keep me moving forward.
Curiosity. Creativity thrives on asking questions. If I had pretended to know all the answers, I would have stopped growing long ago. It’s the insights and perspectives I gain from friends, fellow creators, and sex educators that keep me inspired and help me build a page that’s both educational and engaging.
Not taking things too seriously. One of the keys to my success is not getting weighed down by pressure. Life has its ups and downs, and it’s important to remember that a bad day doesn’t define a bad year, and a rough year doesn’t determine the next decade. Trust the process, stay grateful, and keep moving forward.
Any advice for folks feeling overwhelmed?
My biggest strategy for handling overwhelm is simply taking a break. It may seem counterintuitive at first, but stepping away allows me to reconnect with the bigger picture. There’s more to life than your business, and by focusing on that joy, I return to my work refreshed and energized. You can’t tell compelling stories if you’re not living them. Entrepreneurship is just one part of your life—it’s important to remember it’s not your entire story.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://patreon.com/VibeSlut
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vibeslut/?hl=en
- Other: TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abigailjensen_
Image Credits
The photo in the green shirt is from Kendall Brockett
That is all 🙂
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