Meet Adam Sholder

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Adam Sholder a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Adam, so good to have you with us today. We’ve always been impressed with folks who have a very clear sense of purpose and so maybe we can jump right in and talk about how you found your purpose?

This is one of those stories that exemplifies the adage, “It’s the journey, not the destination.” I never intended to work in mental health, yet perhaps it was meant to be. Mental health challenges course through my family lineage, with a lengthy history of relatives grappling with various conditions, including anxiety, OCD, schizophrenia, and addiction. Personally, I navigate my own experience with anxiety. It may sound cliché, but it truly feels as though my purpose found me. While I initially embarked on a career in education, I was increasingly drawn to underserved and at-risk youth. As my journey unfolded, I recognized two key truths: I thrived on being of service to others, and the skills I honed as an educator were incredibly applicable to those living with mental health issues. My mission, my passion, and my calling crystallized, as I acknowledged the pressing need for compassionate, individualized support through skills-building for individuals facing mental health challenges.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

Once upon a time there was a little boy who hated to color. He could not stay within the lines. His coloring books were masterpieces of chaos, despite his efforts to be meticulous. When his kindergarten teacher announced it was time to color, the entire class erupted in cheers, but the little boy sat silently, a wave of anxiety coursing through him. As the teacher unveiled shoeboxes filled with crayons, the other children eagerly grabbed their favorite colors, while he hesitated, taking his time before reluctantly engaging in the task

“Stay within the lines,” his teachers would advise. “Slow down, take your time.” Yet their words had little effect, and the sweat would bead on his brow as he tried to color a butterfly or a clown’s polka-dotted bowtie, only to find his hand uncontrollably straying beyond the outlines. It felt as if an unseen force guided his hand, propelling the burnt sienna or aquamarine crayon well beyond the boundaries. He envied his classmates’ artworks, proudly displayed on the classroom wall, and often wondered, “How do they do it? Why can’t I stay within the lines?” Throughout elementary school, coloring became a source of anxiety. Gifts of crayons and coloring books from well-meaning family members only intensified his panic. What should have been a delightful escape from the travails of kid-hood morphed into a stress-inducing task. Deep down, he understood it wasn’t of utmost importance, yet it felt monumental to him. Perfection eluded him, and he loathed coloring.

Of course, that little boy was me. As I grew older, I confronted my anxiety and acknowledged my creativity. I embraced various artistic pursuits, including acting, voiceover work, writing, filmmaking, and music. My confidence blossomed both personally and creatively, yet I shunned traditional artistic mediums, the haunting memories of my Crayola calamities never far from the forefront of my brain.

After graduating college with a degree in writing and filmmaking, I unexpectedly dove into education, working with at-risk youth. This was a truly amazing, rewarding, and life-changing experience, that eventually transitioned into working in mental health. Although this path was unplanned, my passion swiftly ignited, undoubtedly influenced by my personal experiences and a legacy of mental health conditions within my family. In my early thirties, I founded a company to provide mental health coaching, consulting, and mentoring for teens and adults grappling with their own challenges. I recognized a significant gap in our mental health care system, a need for more meaningful support beyond medication and therapy — guidance that helped individuals live independently and pursue their goals. This venture started as a personal passion, allowing me to work on my terms while impacting the lives of others. Over two decades, my modest initiative has flourished into a multi-city coaching organization, complemented by a non-profit branch offering free mental health services. Most importantly, we have empowered countless individuals to achieve their aspirations. What began as a job has transformed into a profound calling and vocation. 

Not that long ago, I unwrapped a birthday gift from my wife, only to find a paint-by-numbers kit. A pit formed in my stomach, anxiety resurfaced, and I felt the familiar tingle of dread. My wife noticed my anguished expression and I confessed my fears: “I can’t do this. I can’t stay within the lines.” With her characteristic grace, she simply replied, “You don’t have to stay within the lines.” In that moment, my half-century of anxiety began to unravel. My wonderful wife had unintentionally liberated me from my self-imposed limitations, revealing that I had always lived outside the lines. I have always prided myself on thinking differently, challenging norms, and a rebellious spirit. Embracing this revelation allowed me to explore painting freely, and I now find joy in moving colors across the canvas without the constraint of boundaries.

In my professional life, my company embodies the philosophy of coloring outside the lines. We strive to offer unconventional solutions and individualized support for our clients, which has become our distinguishing hallmark. Though it took me years to reach this understanding, and a simple yet profound insight from my wife, I transformed what was once a source of anxiety into a powerful strength. The little boy who once recoiled from crayons has evolved into a man dedicated to personal growth, and helping others do the same. With the recognition that so many of our challenges can be transmuted into opportunities, I am driven to continuously push boundaries and redefine success to better benefit my company, my staff, and the individuals we serve.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Being a good listener, having empathy, and wanting to make a difference in people’s lives are the three qualities that have been and continue to be of profound and utmost importance for me along my journey. These qualities and skills have truly led the way, allowing me to live a meaningful and purposeful life while being in the service of others.

The best advice I have for others is to be curious! Be curious about the world and other people, as that curiosity fuels perspective-taking, empathy, and acceptance. And, the cool thing about curiosity is that it is contagious! We have the ability to imbue these traits in others by simply cultivating these traits in ourselves.

We’ve all got limited resources, time, energy, focus etc – so if you had to choose between going all in on your strengths or working on areas where you aren’t as strong, what would you choose?

This is not about choosing one option over another; the answer encompasses both. Each of us possesses unique strengths and talents, and I believe it’s vital to cultivate these gifts and enhance our abilities. Simultaneously, we encounter challenges along our journeys—difficulties that can be reframed as opportunities for learning and personal growth. I believe it is essential for each of us to leverage our strengths fully while also embracing the chance for self-improvement, actively working to address the challenges we face.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.insightenrichment.com & www.agapintheforest.org