Meet Alex Antonucci

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Alex Antonucci. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Hi Alex, thank you so much for opening up with us about some important, but sometimes personal topics. One that really matters to us is overcoming Imposter Syndrome because we’ve seen how so many people are held back in life because of this and so we’d really appreciate hearing about how you overcame Imposter Syndrome.

This is a topic that I’m very interested in talking about. Many of us have it. And therapists often suffer with imposter syndrome for years after graduating and beyond becoming fully licensed. In my line of work, it is a given that I come across elements of human experience, levels of suffering, and logistical hurdles that I simply have not learned about or experienced myself. This can give rise to seeds of doubt about whether or not I’m capable of supporting an individual through those challenges. To be fair, my imposter syndrome has decreased over my time in the field, strictly because I have been exposed to so many things. Also, I have had the distinct pleasure and honor to have had a handful of generous and top-notch supervisors and mentors. I still do. Without them, I am unsure how it is that I would’ve found my way.

All of this considered, my process of overcoming imposter syndrome has hinged on one major attitude: I don’t expect myself to know anything – I work hard at fighting against the embarrassment of not knowing. I try to embrace my ignorance and use it as a way to connect with people. If I don’t know what a word means, I ask. If I have an opportunity to share about a difficult case, I take it. I open myself up to feedback, and I often visualize myself as a sponge in situations when I am surrounded by people who have so much to offer. I hope to maintain this attitude throughout my life. I don’t see myself as particularly special. I’m just a guy that still has so much to learn about what it means to be a caring, skillful, and genuine presence. Plus, I’m surrounded by absolutely brilliant friends and colleagues. Not needing to be a big deal and constantly looking for things to learn brings a lot of joy and freshness to my life.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

I am a psychotherapist in private practice. I don’t know how I got so lucky to do the work that I do. Every day, I step into a sacred space with people. I have the opportunity to build a kind of trust with individuals and couples where they share things that they may never have said out loud. This vulnerable space of shared humanness is the emotional and spiritual reason why I do what I do and what excites me most about it.

But it can be pretty taxing. It is a lot of people, with a lot of emotional experiences, and a tremendous amount of information that I hold onto constantly. For this reason, I also take great joy in teaching continuing education for therapists, running workshops and customized intensives for couples, and clinically supervising and mentoring therapists. These other activities give me a 30,000 foot view of my work that keeps me interested and motivated.

Having started private practice just about a year ago, I am delighted to have partnered with Tree Pittsburgh. I donate 1% of all my proceeds to this amazing nonprofit. The ability to make an impact for the people in the city I love is fantastic.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

I already mentioned the most important thing. I try not to be a big deal. I just try to be better than yesterday. And I try to constantly put myself in rooms with people who are smarter than me.

Secondly, I have refined the skill over the years to be with my own angst. I owe this to my training in mindfulness practice, the guidance of my supervisors, and my own personal therapy. I try to be deeply aware of who I am and how I move through the world. This includes being in touch with some very tender, vulnerable, and painful parts of my life experiences. This is crucial for me because it helps me stay grounded and steady in the face of other people’s pain. When I have a map for that darkness in my own self, I can say “I understand” and mean it.

Lastly, I have worked hard over the years to build and maintain important boundaries that protect my time and energy. I strive to end sessions on time so that I have space to do the administrative tasks necessary to support my work. I have proactive and meaningful conversations about the financial components of my work with clients so that I can work hard and support my family at the same time. I also try to be mindful to work outside of work hours as little as possible. This protects my time that is meant for my personal relationships and fulfillment.

My advice to beginner therapists is to know that you can use your time with your supervisor to discuss personal matters in the context of how they affect your clinical work. Embrace this and take the opportunity to take an honest look in the mirror about how you make things harder for yourself.

Alright, so before we go we want to ask you to take a moment to reflect and share what you think you would do if you somehow knew you only had a decade of life left?

When I sit with this question, I notice a profound quietness and space in my gut. So, honestly, I’m not sure. But if I had to guess, I think that I would do almost all of the things I currently do, but in different measures. I would still work, but less. I would still spend lots of time with my kids, but with a better and more patient attitude. I would still spend lots of time with my wife, but I would focus more on my appreciation. I would still plant trees, but lots more of them. I would still run and climb and do all the things that help me feel the edge of my ability, but more often. I would still think about the financial health of my family and the future of my kids, but not as much. I would spend less time on my phone. I would spend more time outside.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.waxwingwellness.com/