We recently connected with Alexander Carstoiu and have shared our conversation below.
Alexander , we are so appreciative of you taking the time to open up about the extremely important, albeit personal, topic of mental health. Can you talk to us about your journey and how you were able to overcome the challenges related to mental issues? For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.
Throughout my life and career, I have struggled with mental health challenges and creating greater mental health awareness is a huge emphasis to my purpose as an artist. The first step that helped me persist through these issues was embracing/accepting them. I let myself feel what I was feeling and have worked on not villainizing myself for it. I have slowly learned(and am still learning) to accept that no high will stay high and no low will stay low. That’s what makes life great and interesting. It is what makes us human. With this as the general principle, the three biggest tools that helped me overcome mental health challenges are acting, therapy and action-taking. When I decided to become an actor, at the wise and old age of 13 years old, I was lost and had no idea what life had in store for me. I was a kid with a lot of heart, but also a big chip on my shoulder to prove myself to the world. I felt like an outsider and never good enough for anyone. Acting helped me find my purpose and was the first community I felt I truly belonged to. It allowed me to explore the human condition and all different kinds of circumstances and emotions. At the time, I thought it allowed me to escape myself and my problems, but in reality, it continues to help me find my higher self and who I really am. As important as acting, therapy has played a huge part in overcoming my mental health struggles. In my life, I have gone to on and off therapy. It became crucial for me during my parent’s divorce in high school as well as my move from Boston across-country to LA. My therapist has been the support I need and sometimes the tough love I need. She helps give me a good objective eye on myself. She helps me see where I am not giving myself enough credit and also where I am giving myself too much credit. The hour of therapy I have a week allows me a really wonderful reset and reflection to keep me on a path to remain open to growth and challenges that come my way. Lastly, action-taking is the most recent tool I have found that has helped me overcome my challenges. Truthfully, it is an issue I still struggle with, yet I find insanely helpful. Being able to take action, whether it is reaching out to that director, asking that girl out, or asking to join in a two-on-two basketball game, I have always found helpful in overcoming mental health issues, no matter the result. It may not always feel good in the moment, sometimes quite the contrary, but I always come out of it with an experience and heightened intuition. It gives me more confidence to make quicker decisions and trust myself more. It allows me to step outside my own personal rabbit hole of what could happen/what could go wrong and just live. The biggest thing I have learned from action-taking is no rejection is more painful than the pain of wondering what could have happened if I had taken the risk.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I am an actor. I have been acting since I was 13 and professionally since 19 years old. I find actors to be some of the most badass people around. They take on multiple complex human conditions, circumstances and emotions to bring their characters to life. It is truly a study of humanity and a beautiful art. For me, I love the roller coaster it brings me on. It allows me to learn about so many different things, different kinds of people, different types of jobs, experiences, etc. One of my biggest goals surrounding acting is to have a large range of roles I play so that, no matter who you are or what your life experience is, you will be able to relate to my given character. For those going through trying times or struggling mentally, I hope to help them feel less alone. Movies and the actors in them have done this for me ever since I was a little kid and I hope to return the favor to as many people as possible. Currently, I have acted in many projects, including the Amazon Prime film, “Magnolia Flowers” written/directed by Colin Charles Dale, and “The Gateway Drug” written/directed by Andy Chen on Youtube. I have four upcoming projects to be released in 2024. These titles are “Can You Drink a Grape” directed by Nicholas Jensen/written by Caleb Brunman, “DOG” written/directed by Ben Tan, ” An Encounter on the Street ” written/directed by Colin Charles Dale and “October Falls” written/directed by Elijah Howard. I look forward to the release of these projects. In the meantime, I go to a weekly acting class and continue to develop my art.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Three areas of knowledge that have been the most impactful on my journey are who I surround myself with, having good film knowledge and being in a great acting class. Moving to Los Angeles was a tough transition for me. I went from loving LA, to hating it, to loving it again. I felt this all came down to the people I surrounded myself with. There are a lot of people in LA who have ulterior motives and who do not have your best interest in mind. They will be your friend if you have something to offer and then leave you when they find no use for you. The first couple years of my LA experience, I learned all this the hard way. As much as I hated a lot of moments at that time in my life, I have come to be grateful for it now. It led me to the people I have in my life now. Having a great group of friends, even if only one, has allowed myself as a person and artist to flourish. They respect me for myself and challenge me when I need to be challenged. Most importantly, they remind me how to have fun in it all. Surrounding yourself with good, genuine people is essential in this industry. The second area of knowledge is watching great films. I have gone through many moments of despair and not feeling good enough as an actor to go on. In these times, I find watching films so important. They are an easy source of inspiration and a great way to connect with your art. I have learned so much from watching the performances of so many great actors, such as Jack Nicholson, Heath Ledger, Leonardo Dicaprio, Florence Pugh, Daniel Day Lewis, Daniel Kaluuya. I could go on and on. When in doubt, even if you don’t want to, put a movie on. You will always take something from it. The last essential is a great acting class. I have been in many acting classes throughout the years. Some are better than others, but a great class allows you to really thrive and grow as an artist. It allows you to challenge yourself and to push your comfort zone. It allows you to fall flat on your face and has a great support system to pick you back up. It allows you to be truly free. There are many great acting classes out there, but the important thing is finding the right one for you. A great acting class will consist of three things: a great teacher, great classmates who support and challenge you, and great scenes to choose from. I am beyond grateful to have found a class with all of this at Stuart Rogers Studios.
Before we go, any advice you can share with people who are feeling overwhelmed?
When I feel overwhelmed in my daily life, there are a few different things I do. Sometimes, I will go to the gym and get a good sweat. This helps take me out of my head and puts me in my body. It allows me to take an hour to reset. Plus, it’s good for your health. I find playing guitar or listening to music to have a similar effect on me as well. Another thing I will do is read a good book or watch a movie. It’s helpful to disappear into another world and look through someone else’s eyes. It allows me to zoom out and come back to my issues with more of a clear head and a better perspective. The hardest yet most effective strategy is taking whatever action I am procrastinating or resisting. If I am dreading sending a text because I’m anxious about the outcome or to start working on a script because I don’t know if I’ll be good enough, I push through it and do it anyway. I find it to alleviate the overwhelming feeling almost instantly. Despite what the outcome is, I can at least say I did it and with that comes greater confidence and less anxiety. My therapist describes this as moving forward with “plan-based behavior” vs “emotional-based behavior.” Lastly, a quick phone call or sit down with a friend always helps. Even if you don’t talk about what’s overwhelming you, talking with a good friend helps me to take a step back and allow myself to embrace what I’m feeling.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm9703772/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexander_carstoiu/
- Other: Email: [email protected]
Image Credits
Photo Credits: Matt Stasi Isaak Morin Nicholas Jensen Ben Grant Jig Reel studios Lexi Piepmeier
