We were lucky to catch up with Alexandra Friedman recently and have shared our conversation below.
Alexandra, we’re thrilled to have you on our platform and we think there is so much folks can learn from you and your story. Something that matters deeply to us is living a life and leading a career filled with purpose and so let’s start by chatting about how you found your purpose.
When I moved back to my home city of Seattle at 36 I knew I was looking for something, but I didn’t know what it was. I thought that by coming back I could find the parts of myself that I had left behind or lost 18 years prior. But after living there a few months, a familiar feeling creeped back in: Loneliness.
While I was surrounded by new people, a hustling city, and adventures, I wasn’t experiencing the deep social connection I was craving. It was a familiar feeling, and after living in five different cities before coming back to Seattle, I realized I had been running away from the feeling of loneliness. So, in a city known for “freezing” out new friends, I decided that would no longer be my story, and I started inviting strangers to monthly-themed conversation dinner parties named, Connection Feast.
From a fellow passenger in an elevator, to the person next to me at the gym on the abductor machine, many cringe-worthy boundaries were crossed in an effort to invite new people to the next monthly Feast. It worked. Lonely-feeling people like myself were building meaningful relationships through the art of conversation.
What started as a potluck evolved into a ticketed, curated and facilitated social experience to support the mission of sparking deeper human connection. And with no small talk on the menu, Feasts started attracting open-minded people hungry to connect with themselves and others on a deeper level through meaningful conversations. The caveat was they didn’t know how. And people were attending and looking at me, the organizer and facilitator and curator, as a way to get there. And I liked it.
While I’m certainly no culinary chef, cooking up group experiences to help foster deep human connection for myself and others was nourishing. My loneliness wasn’t because of “The Seattle Freeze,” moving, or my age. It was because I was ignoring a part of myself that wanted more from relationships and how I was spending my time with others. I was hungry for deep connections and other adults were too. I realized I was excited to step up to the plate for holding and creating containers for adults to learn how to experience more deep human connection in their life, especially because I was no longer setting a table for one.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
While my purpose was born from my own sense of loneliness, I now deeply believe that deep relationships are one of the most central and healing paths of fulfillment. We get hurt in relationships and we heal in relationships.
It’s because of this that I’ve committed to curating deep connection experiences, education, and coaching for adults to support them in authentically relating to themselves so that they can experience greater freedom in their own life, while also embodying the social and relational skills needed to spark deeper friendships and connections.
In other words, I help everyday adults build a meaningful life with friends and community. Oftentimes that starts with befriending ourselves and what makes us unique, knowing what we want and initiating, and learning and practicing our relational and social skills so we can engage and connect with people in an aligned and meaningful way.
Since launching Connection Feast, I’ve supported 1,500+ adults globally learn how to connect deeper with themselves and others through experiential connection events, online friendship workshops, and online 1:1 friendship coaching, and group coaching. What’s different about Connection Feast is that “Feasters” not only go deep on self reflection, they get hands-on experience practicing their relational and social skills in fun and creative ways, which often feels like play! When they do this in a supportive environment and with a coach, they start to embody the confidence and awareness to take these skills into the real-world.
The group coaching program, Friendship Accelerator, has been very popular, and up until now has been in private cohorts that have hard start and stop dates. But, often people would want in and it was too late! So, starting fall, 2024 people will be able to join Friendship Accelerator on a rolling basis! I love this because it’s the group dynamic that makes this really impactful, and opening the doors year-round means more people can participate, learn, connect, and practice. Learning in group coaching communities is, in my opinion, the best way to learn and embody relational skills.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
The beautiful thing about “finding a purpose” that I’ve learned over the years is that it’s already within you, you already know it. And that might sound so annoying because you want to know it now, but I promise you that it will evolve at some point in your life. If you want it to evolve sooner, continue to reflect and allow yourself to crack open. One way you can do this is by experimenting and leaning into a problem you have. But, instead of focusing on how it’s impacting you, get curious on how you can support others with the same problem.
So, for example, I was lonely and was sad about it. I have/had a lovely family, therapists, coaches, hobbies, and even friends, but I still felt this disconnection and loneliness in everyday living. I thought going to Meetups and events and being more engaged in activities or people would help “cure” my loneliness. And while it did help me feel more social and meet interesting people, I often still felt very lonely and not deeply connected to most of these people. So instead of adding more things to my plate or trying yet another class (as much as I love and support this), I decided to focus the energy outside of myself and create deep connection opportunities for others. It was through this that I not only created Connection Feast and my successful friendship coaching business and community, I was able to come home to myself in the process too.
For context, I was 22 when I had a ping to become a coach and connector, and I followed it for a hot minute and then fell into the corporate world. I could be upset that it took me almost 20 years to realign with my purpose/calling, or I could look at those years as experience to help me become a leader in the friendship and connection space. I got there eventually, but I had to breakdown to breakthrough and you can get there too. IT’s the most beautiful homecoming.
Tell us what your ideal client would be like?
Most of the people who engage with Connection Feast are deep-thinking adults who want to build a fun life with meaningful friendships. What’s unique about the people I get to connect with and work with is that they’re excited to actually practice the social and relational skills needed for deep connection in their life. From the events I host in-person to online, to the more high-touch group or 1:1 coaching, the people I work with are craving hands-on connection experience, feedback, and guidance in a fun and structured way.
I’ve also recently been working with a lot more adults on the spectrum, from ADHD to Autism, which has come full circle for me personally, since I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD since I was 18.
And while I would agree that there is a loneliness epidemic happening in our culture, there is also a tremendous amount of adults who are ready to do something about it, and take it into their own hands. They’re investing in their social wellness through events, education, and coaching, and those are the type of people that I work with. The ones that are hopeful about the life they can create with others, and ready to take accountability and go deep to get there. I’m honored to be on this path with them.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.connectionfeast.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/connectionfeast/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexandrafriedman/
Image Credits
Photographers: Nicole Ryan, Jessica Jay, Juliann Itter
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
