Meet Alexandra Montalbano

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Alexandra Montalbano. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Alexandra, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.

My confidence is very much a work in progress. But it has grown. I’ve spent much of my life being told I am “too” something. too loud. too direct. too much. I’ve only just begun to start uncovering all of the layers of how I would shrink myself, make myself and my voice smaller so that I could be just enough for people. But that was never enough for me. My confidence started to grow when I finally realized that making myself smaller never made me feel better. It started to grow when I started to really look at myself, my habits and tendencies ,with curiosity instead of judgement. I’m allowing myself to learn myself – what I need, how to ask for it, how I want to show up in a space – that way I can feel confident doing so. It’s when I am my most authentic that I am my most confident. It’s very much a journey but one I am very proud to be on.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

I am an NYC/London based actor, mover and writer. Born outside Boston, I started my journey as a contemporary dancer in NYC, unexpectedly fell in love with acting thanks to some introductory Meisner classes, and just recently graduated with my MFA from LAMDA, thanks to whom I owe my newfound love of writing.

I’m honored that this fall, my one person show CHOKE ME debuted in London. This multimedia one-hour show uses the 2025 world of finance bros and Blackmagic cameras to explore the age-old themes of silencing and hyper-sexualizing women.
This show felt like the perfect culmination of all my creative interests. Along with the obvious acting bit, we (myself and co-director Brock Looser) pulled from my experience as a dancer and movement director to shape all the different characters physicalities, (I play 9 of them) and the technological aspect of this multimedia show was a great game of logistical Tetris, as a writer and then the producer.
Along with my career as an actor, dancer and movement director, I am excited to revisit CHOKE ME, hopefully stateside, and am working on my first two-hander and pilot.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

I started working at my family owned hardware store when I was 14. My sister and I joke that it gave us essentially all the skills we ever needed and I do actually believe we are correct in saying that.

For me, communication is always paramount. I’ve always said everyone just wants to be seen and heard, so honing your ability to listen is vital as an actor and collaborator, but also as a human. I spent many an hour behind that counter at the store learning how to communicate with all kinds of different people. It taught me how to really listen to what someone needs, even if they’re not saying it, how to hold space for folks, and how to speak up for myself as well.

I think a sense of resourcefulness is vital. A curiosity when it comes to problem solving. Theatre making is constant problem solving, with many a math nightmare you never could have imagined. Being able to take a step back and find creative solutions is often where the magic in a show is found. I could never have imagined all of the crazy ways to fix some of the things folks brought up to that counter, but it taught me how to (at least try) to look at things from every angle, often missing many, but that’s where great collaborators come in.

An ability to ask for help is one I am still working on. Great theater is never made alone. It takes many brains, all bringing their different ways of thinking into a space to find that magic. I often forget that asking for help, especially in a creative space, can be a gift, and not a burden. Folks want to be involved and they want to help. I can’t begin to count the amount of times folks went out of their way to help the 14 year old kid who had no idea what she was doing in those aisles, and all of the hours I could have saved had I just asked any of the folks next to me for some guidance.

Do you think it’s better to go all in on our strengths or to try to be more well-rounded by investing effort on improving areas you aren’t as strong in?

There are many things I used to tell myself I could never do, I wouldn’t be good at them. I told myself I couldn’t write. Could never clown. Would never be able to sing. All of this was fundamentally false. I have a bit of a motto to myself and thats if my brain has ever said I can’t do something – I have to do it (safety and reason obviously coming into play here).

There’s many a thing I stopped because I wasn’t that good at it. I loved art but I wasn’t the best painter. I loved swimming but I was never put into the best swimming classes.
Who on earth cares.
I’ve come back to ceramics and art as an adult, knowing I may not be the greatest, but it brings me joy. I swim laps as often as I can, always in the slow lanes and probably with some shaky form, but as long as I am safe, I could not care less. It brings me joy.

There’s also plenty of things I am good at that I fundamentally do not want to do. When I started out in in NYC I had a great career in sales. I was very good at it but I have no desire to do it. It took me a very long time to realize that just because I am good at something and it may be a strength on my list of skills, doesn’t mean it’s what I am meant to do.

I think we all need to really sit with ourselves, what strengths are we most proud of and aligned with, what are areas we want to improve and why. Is the desire to improve within ourselves or something thats been put onto us? Why don’t we think we’re good at it? And honestly, throw it out the window and do what you want to do, even if you’re bad at it. You’ll find you have more skills in the area than you thought. Or you won’t and you’ll probably enjoy it and at least be able to know you’ve explored it.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://alexandramontalbano.com
• Instagram: @lexmontalbano

Image Credits

Kim Hardy
Madeleine Bloxam
Sam Taylor