We recently connected with Alexis Forteza and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Alexis, so excited to talk about all sorts of important topics with you today. The first one we want to jump into is about being the only one in the room – for some that’s being the only person of color or the only non-native English speaker or the only non-MBA, etc Can you talk to us about how you have managed to be successful even when you were the only one in the room that looked like you?
I wouldn’t say I’ve “learned” just yet the totality of this skill, because that would mean I’ve mastered this lesson. However, I can offer some wisdom I’ve gained on this topic because boy, has life really put me in some rooms that I feel I am completely unqualified for, and/or just different in general. where it makes me question my own identity.
The key to remaining effective/successful in rooms where I am the only one of my kind (and this goes beyond physical looks) is to remember this one simple truth: if I made it/was invited to these “rooms”, this means I belong here, and I am here to add something unique that only I can offer. Period.
Doubt, imposter syndrome, etc. can really become loud in our minds when we embark on new journeys that our gifts take us. But, in order to be, and remain, effective you must believe in yourself and know you’re worth being in spaces where you are different. So, I hope that helps someone.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
Well hello readers!
My name is Alexis Forteza, aka Lexi to some, and I am truly honored to share my story with you all. To give you an overview of what I do, I am the host and creator of the podcast called “Embrace The Journey Podcast”, where I showcase my guests, as well as my personal journey’s of life. I want to hear it all! I am also a mentor, and an author. But, most importantly, I am just like you: a human trying to figure this thing called “life” out , while embracing the up’s and down’s that come along. What I do does not define who I am. I like to say this because many times it can be very easy, and tempting, to place our identity in the things we do, rather than who we are internally.
Throughout all of my means of content creation, and services, my main overall goal is create spaces where healing, vulnerability, and love can thrive. The older I get, the more I believe that everything we do, to how we see the world, interact with others, and thrive truly relies on how healthy we are on the inside. Perfection really isn’t the goal; its about embarking on the journey within and getting a little bit better each and every day. Life proves to me time and time again, that no matter how great a person may appear on the outside, on social media, or behind a 90 second clip, the inner workings of people will always reveal itself to some magnitude.
My overall message to my readers is simple: don’t get so caught looking like you have it together; be the light that shows the truth of who you are, and love others along the way.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
You know, my first take on this question had me thinking about “skills” and “knowledge” only because isn’t that what most of us think we need to be successful in life?
“If I were only smarter, got another degree, read more books, got another certification, etc.”
I’ve caught myself in this loop many times of the “I need more to be more” mindset, and let me tell you what trumps all of these: your qualities
The qualities that will take anyone to where they desire are self-discipline, integrity, honesty, tenacity, and belief.
With the right qualities, anyone can gather the skills they need, obtain the knowledge required, and the work-ethic needed for whatever it is you truly want. So the qualities I have, and continue to utilize, are those listed. No matter what, if you want it, you will find a way to get it.
So the next time you get caught in the “I need more of x,y,z….” think about what qualities you need to have/work on to get after it.
How would you spend the next decade if you somehow knew that it was your last?
Out of all of the questions that were presented, I really wanted to answer this one because often times, people can “perceive” that I don’t struggle with things because I am so encouraging, and I go after my goals with such courage. But honey let me tell you I do! So time for me to get vulnerable…
The one thing I am facing right now, and it might come to a shock for some, is my extreme level of over-analyzing. On the surface, you might assume I am just a really organized and planned person. Which I am and that is not a bad thing. However, because I can’t fully see what is ahead me, and in this season I am faced with having to make a lot of big decisions with limited time, me over-analyzing is a way I try to self-soothe for the “unknown”. It has also been a method, that God himself had to reveal to me, that I’ve been using to give myself a sense of control because deep down I am afraid He will leave me.
Now, the crazy thing is this; I have always been ok! I’ve made big decisions before and they ended up working out, even if there were bumps in the road. But somewhere in my mind, and subconscious, there is still that little girl who see’s change as bad, and unsafe.
So there you have it: I am facing an inner battle that many wouldn’t know. Some days I got it together; other days I become so crippled by my over-analyzing that I lay in bed all day, and shed tears out of fear. So yes, leaders like myself do have challenges, and anyone who say’s they don’t might just be bluffing a bit to appear strong. Don’t fall for it.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://calendly.com/embracethejourneypod/1-on-1-life-coaching-strategy-cal
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lifewithlexiii/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCu4KhTImf0gZdP0mTWeBHLQ
