We were lucky to catch up with Alicia Hilsher recently and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Alicia, thank you so much for opening up with us about some important, but sometimes personal topics. One that really matters to us is overcoming Imposter Syndrome because we’ve seen how so many people are held back in life because of this and so we’d really appreciate hearing about how you overcame Imposter Syndrome.
I think I’ve been working through imposter syndrome since the day I decided to pursue creative careers. There is something very vulnerable about sharing something you personally created with the world.
I started my journey ten years ago as a photographer, running a wedding photography business with my husband. From there, I branched out to other forms of photography. It was my first experience in the creative space and as I gained experience I also gained confidence.
Years later, while waiting in the adoption process, I turned to writing when the wait started to weigh on my heart. I channeled my emotions into the idea for a children’s book about adoption and began taking steps to share it with the world.
When I first wrote this story I never imagined that I would share it publicly. Then the voice in my head that said I should share this story with other adoptive families started getting louder and louder.
It took a lot for me to get to a place where I felt comfortable sharing. I felt like an imposter. I felt that I had no business publishing a book about adoption when I was not yet an adoptive mom. It added to the feelings of inadequacy you develop when you struggle with infertility. I wasn’t able to successfully carry any of my pregnancies and I wasn’t yet picked to parent a child through adoption. I told myself that I wasn’t a “real” author, I was a childless woman who wrote a story for a child she may never have.
With encouragement from a friend, I found that extra motivation to move forward with publishing. She helped me to remember my “why” for doing this. I wrote this book for my future child and genuinely hoped that other families could use the book as a resource for introducing the topic of adoption to their children. I led with my heart and hoped it wouldn’t steer me wrong!
Even then I was hesitant about going public on social media to market my book in its pre-sale period. I was still holding out hope that I’d be an adoptive mom before the book released. That didn’t happen, but here’s what did: other independent authors reached out to me with compliments about my marketing strategy, other illustrators started following me to see more of my illustrator’s work, other adoptive mom’s shared positive reactions to the book and other hopeful adoptive moms added the book to their collection.
Looking back, I believe there was a reason why I published this book before I became an adoptive mom. The reason hasn’t been revealed to me yet, but I hope in time it will. This book continues to take me to unexpected places where I have the honor of meeting other adoptive families and hearing their stories. They have welcomed me into the community with open arms and that has been incredibly special for me. Now I feel grateful that I took the leap and sent this piece of my heart out into the world.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I wrote my book, “Written in the Stars: An Adoption Story”, during my season of waiting. I was waiting to be a mom, hoping to adopt and trying to stay positive during an uncertain time. Most of the time, I was failing at staying positive. When the wait became too much, I started writing down things I wanted to remember, or release, or share with my child one day. The book came to me in bits and pieces over the course of a year. It was a labor of love and a piece of my heart, written for a child I didn’t know at the time, who now brings so much joy into my life.
While we were waiting to adopt, I would often find myself imagining the moment when we met our future child. I saw it as a universal alignment bringing two families together for this special relationship. This led me to choose the stars and night sky as the backdrop for my story.
Since publishing this book it feels like the universe has continued to guide me. While out in the community on a book tour this year, I had the privilege of meeting other adoptive families who have trusted me with their stories. And I was honored to meet many non-adoptive families who shared they are reading my book to their children to teach them that families can be formed in different ways. All of this has led me down a path to where I am now using my author platform to raise awareness about adoption and adoption-related topics. I’ve also started to speak more openly about infertility and the journey that led my family to choose adoption. My hope in sharing is to make connections with other families along a similar journey so that they know they are not alone.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
1 – Vulnerability – sharing a story that you created takes courage. It can feel intimidating to put your heart and soul into something and set it out into the world for all to see. My best advice would be to lean into the fear, remind yourself why you are writing in the first place and take the leap. You may be pleasantly surprised where the road leads you.
2 – Determination – for most independent authors writing is only the first step in a long process to publication. You have to become a publisher, distributor, agent, marketing firm and the list goes on. I had to research and learn at every stage of this process. It’s completely possible to do it yourself if you have the determination to figure it out along the way. You don’t have to take it on all on at once. Take it one step at a time. The beauty of doing it yourself is that the timeline is yours. Make it work for you!
3 – Authenticity – just be yourself! Your story, your imagination, your ideas are all YOURS. Show up honestly, write from the heart and you won’t go wrong.
And remember, there isn’t just one right way to become an author. Many of us come to publishing a book because of an idea, not because we studied it in college. Once you have created something you are proud of, then you are ready to move forward. Take it from me – don’t listen to the critics – especially the one in your head!
How can folks who want to work with you connect?
Yes! I would love to collaborate with others in the adoption community! Whether it is around adoption awareness or providing my book as a resource for families, I would love to connect.
You can find me on social media (@authoraliciahilsher) or through the contact form on my website (www.aliciahilsher.com).
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.aliciahilsher.com
- Instagram: @authoraliciahilsher
- Facebook: @authoraliciahilsher
Image Credits
Happy Little Life Photography
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
