We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Alina Dolitsky a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Alina, we’re thrilled to have you sharing your thoughts and lessons with our community. So, for folks who are at a stage in their life or career where they are trying to be more resilient, can you share where you get your resilience from?
My resilience comes from love, which I believe to be the foundation for any kind of existence. If love is the foundation of our existence then resilience is one of the pillars supported by that foundation. We can do a lot of difficult things for love, and often for that we need resilience, which I believe, like a muscle gets stronger with each experience. It is not a word I thought about while building up mine, but it is ultimately what got me through some very difficult moments of my life. None of that would have happened if it weren’t for my love for my children, however imperfect and sometimes hurtful that love was at the time. Looking back at my life I see how dysfunction, running in tandem with love, built up my resilience to prepare me for the turbulent times ahead, as I went through my divorce, which meant a new home, a new school, a new domestic rhythm, now split between two homes, with each one finding its own routine.
Before my divorce, I often felt that I was at the end of my rope and giving up would allow me to disintegrate and float through the daily trenches of misery, but my kids deserved better. I needed to change the language and the generational pattern of dysfunction. This was a monumental task to undertake, for I knew this would be a long and painful process, but it had to be done. I started by getting myself into therapy, where I had to admit a lot, and learn to speak a new language: a language of empathy, and support and loving my children on their terms, not mine. None of this would have happened without resilience and resolve, and of course, love.
Another building block in my resilience is being a child immigrant. In either situations, divorce or immigration, the child has no say in the choice made by the adults. And while, in the end, both may be beneficial, the brokenness experienced by the child must be acknowledged. Such experiences build resilience but often at a great and unacknowledged emotional cost to the child. I was ten years old when I came here with my family from the Soviet Union, over 40 years ago. We came as refugees, people without a country, but now legal residents of another superpower. Learning a new language, making new friends in both languages, going to school, adjusting to working parents, all those experiences build resilience, while also ushering in doubt and insecurities. I was in my thirties when my parents divorced. Even though I was married and a pregnant mother of a three year old, the collapse of my life’s foundation has left some parts of me broken to this day. Some of the brokenness closes with time, but some cracks remain. And that’s okay because resilience often lives in those spaces and we can draw on it when we need it.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
Some people change professions often and easily. I had been doing the same work as a certified medical biller for most of my life, while keeping my passion for photography and writing sidelined and simmering, though longing for a chance to explore my creative potential. In 2024 alinadoliart.com was created as a space for me to share my photography and poetry with the world. Now I am in the process of creating my brand and business Alina Doli Art. My art is photography, writing and photopoetry, which is my photography combined with my poetry, sometimes as one piece of art. I have been taking pictures most of my life, but started writing poetry as a challenge for myself about ten years ago. I love the rhythm I find in the process of writing, with each poem having its own. This April, I will be exhibiting my artwork, with three other photographers in an art gallery in Philadelphia. This is my first exhibition and I am very excited. I am also participating in local craft fairs and looking to enter in more such events, as well as photography and poetry competitions and exhibitions. My poem, We, Immigrants, was published with my photograph in the October 2024 issue of Beyond Words magazine. So far, 2025 is a transformational year in which I am reaching out to tap into our collective energy to share, and to connect through art.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
As a professional, as a parent, as a new artist, listening is one of the most important tools we can have at our disposal for growth and engagement. In a world longing for connection, listening to yourself and to others, in order to learn and understand (not necessarily to respond), can help meet the moment to determine how to continue on your chosen journey in spite of the obstacles and challenges ahead.
One of the things I often tell my kids and myself is, you can’t cheat the truth. When you operate in truth, to yourself and to others, you have less obstacles to face, because facing the truth can be one of the most difficult but also empowering steps to take. In truth you can admit your flaws, and your virtues, and such acknowledgments allow you to move forward. I am not saying it is easy, especially in an age that thrives on disinformation, but it is possible and liberating, and facilitates growth.
And most importantly have fun. Learn to enjoy the journey itself. Magic happens on that journey. Through curiosity, travel, and the ability to meet the moment, you can experience the best moments of your life. Sometimes, the right thing to do is to disengage from the world, but it is very important to re-engage. Begin on the light and fun side. In other words, create opportunities to have fun. Be kind to yourself. Go out with friends, who build you up. See a funny movie, do something that gives you joy. That joy can turn into creativity and/or productivity, and that is fun. It will be one of the best things you will do for yourself.
Alright so to wrap up, who deserves credit for helping you overcome challenges or build some of the essential skills you’ve needed?
That credit goes to my husband David, who taught me the basics of owning and running my medical billing service, especially after my divorce. David and I were old childhood friends, who eventually lost touch only to be miraculously reunited decades later while we both were going through our respective divorces. The old friendship returned at the right time, and we helped each other through the unknown obstacles and losses of divorce. As we healed, we fell in love.
David’s experience and business acumen allowed us to expand and grow our medical billing and medical equipment company to a full time business.
Today, as I build and grow my brand, David is once again managing the business part of it, while I develop the creative side of Alina Doli Art.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://alinadoliart.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alinadoliart/
Image Credits
David Dolitsky
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
