Meet Alissa Daire Nelson

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Alissa Daire Nelson a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Alissa, thrilled to have you on the platform as I think our readers can really benefit from your insights and experiences. In particular, we’d love to hear about how you think about burnout, avoiding or overcoming burnout, etc.

I’ve heard it said that the message you’re sent to put out in this world is often the one you need to learn the most. We help companies and individuals create work environments that care for wellbeing because I’ve experienced over and over again what it looks like and feels like when I burn myself into the ground.

Like many ambitious, purpose-driven professionals, the work we do is so important that it for a long time, it wouldn’t even occur to us to “turn it off” until we are in full burnout. For the record, burnout isn’t just being “really tired”, it’s a feeling of being completely emotionally and mentally drained. We become less productive, motivated, effective, and then our old friends Shame and Inadequacy come to take an extended vacation right in the center of our brains. We begin to become cynical, asking questions like “what does it matter anyway?” The end result is feeling numb and detached, or in my case, depressed and devastated.

I’ve nearly drowned in burnout three extreme times in the 10 years I’ve been in business, but I’ve dipped my toes in that awful lake more times than I can count. Each time, I learned better and better strategies for getting out and staying out, while also learning how to swim through tough times.

Here are the key strategies that I have found work for me (and for many of my clients):
1) Stop – Remind and Regulate: When I feel the signs of burnout creeping in—working longer hours, skipping meals, losing sleep—I hit the “pause” button. My body also signals me clearly: tense shoulders, sore back, interrupted sleep. These signs tell me to stop. If I recognize it early enough, sometimes a 10-minute break is all I need to reset. But in those three major times of burnout above, it took multiple days or longer to simply “stop”.

During that pause, I give myself the physical rest I need first, then I remind myself of some simple math – 10-15% of exhausted, frazzled me, even at twice the time, will NEVER be as good as 85-90% of rested, clear, happy me. I remind myself that no one, not even my own life’s work gets to have me more than 8 hours a day.

Next I regulate my body. There are lots of ways to do this, but my favorite are deep breathing, walking, humming, and a good, long hug from a friend or loved one. These are all evidence-based ways to get your body out of fight, flight, or freeze.

2) Honor my Strengths: Each of my Strengths has needs, just like humans need oxygen. Even though I live and breathe Strengths work, exhaustion can fog my ability to think clearly and I can forget these needs during burnout. So, I often pull out my Strengths report to remind myself of what my Strengths require.
“How can I put oxygen back in the room?” For me, that often means time to dream and be creative, to move around, or to connect with a friend. These aren’t luxuries to be “earned” after work—they’re essential needs that fuel my ability to stay in the race.

3) Set boundaries with compassion: I learned a long time ago that to protect our wellbeing, we have two choices: build and maintain boundaries or build walls. They both protect us, but walls will cut us off from others, further isolating us when we need support and connection most. Not only that, but creating boundaries puts me in the driver’s seat, proactively sharing what is ok and what’s not ok, while walls will always have us in defense mode, left to react to others.

When I feel resentment or bitterness rising up inside of me, I know a boundary has been crossed. Addressing it early allows me to communicate with clarity and compassion. “Clear is kind,” as they say, and accountability is a kindness we offer both to ourselves and others. In my experience, about two times out of five, the other person didn’t realize they were crossing a boundary, two times it was me who wasn’t holding it firmly, and one time, a conversation is needed to reinforce it. Tackling boundaries early is uncomfortable, yes, but far better than letting them build to a breaking point.

Surviving and recovering from burnout is not easy, but it’s far easier than suffering through it. If you’re anything like me, remember this: it’s not only ok, but the BEST thing for you and everyone around you to put the time and effort into is to “put the oxygen mask on your own face before putting it on others.” You will never be GREAT for others or your passions, if you’re not first taking care of what you need. I’m worth staying out of burnout and you are, too.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

In every business, leaders have people, processes, and product to manage and maximize. The most difficult and complex of those three is people, and we LOVE working with leaders on the “people side” of the business. People spend about a third of their lives at work, so when they are in an environment that builds them up and helps them thrive, it not only helps them feel and be more successful at work, their families and friends get the best of them as well. When people ARE well; they DO well.

Daire 2 Succeed delivers programs that produce impactful, measurable outcomes, driving long-term organizational growth and success. By employing research-backed tools like CliftonStrengths® (StrengthsFinder) and the PERMAH® wellbeing tool, we help teams, whether in-person, hybrid, or remote, improve in areas including employee engagement, turnover reduction, burnout prevention, and overall well-being.

Our suite of coaching services, including Executive, Leadership, and Team Coaching, are specifically designed to enhance professional growth and development, cultivating a culture of collaboration and innovation.

Our training and facilitation sharpens effective communication skills, self-awareness, and empathy, crucial for building inclusive, strengths-based workplaces and boosting staff well-being.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

Reflecting on my journey, three qualities have consistently made a difference for me: persistence, confident vulnerability, and the ability to learn from every mistake or so-called “failure.” For anyone early in their journey, here’s how I’d advise you to grow these qualities:

Persistence / Tenacity: The journey to building anything meaningful is rarely straightforward, so persistence is everything. There is no such thing as an overnight success and while we don’t need to create challenges, level set your expectations and don’t be surprised or panicked when challenges arise. There will be days when you’re exhausted, uncertain, or just plain discouraged. Rest and then get back up and keep going. Remind yourself that every single step forward, no matter how small, is a step closer to your goal. You don’t need a perfect plan, and you don’t need to have it all figured out—just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Consistency and resilience are what build the path to success over time, not sudden breakthroughs or overnight wins.

Confident Vulnerability: This one is a game-changer. We’re taught to “fake it till you make it,” but there’s immense power in admitting what you don’t know or sharing when you’re struggling. Confident vulnerability means showing up authentically, sharing your imperfections with courage, and knowing that this openness actually builds trust and credibility. Early on, practice being transparent with yourself and others. Ask questions, admit when you’re unsure, and remember that no one expects you to have all the answers. True confidence isn’t about perfection; it’s about courageously showing up as you are, which will open doors to connection, growth, and support.

Learning from Every Mistake or “Failure”: Failures and mistakes aren’t setbacks—they’re data. They’re feedback on what works, what doesn’t, and where you can improve. Failure isn’t something that can happen along the way, it’s literally a part of success. Embrace every stumble as a chance to grow. Instead of internalizing them as a reflection of your abilities, get curious: what can you learn from this? How can this experience make you stronger or smarter? If you can develop the habit of reflecting on each challenge and using it to adjust course, you’ll find that “failure” becomes one of your greatest teachers and tools for growth.

What would you advise – going all in on your strengths or investing on areas where you aren’t as strong to be more well-rounded?

Since CliftonStrengths is my favorite tool, it won’t surprise you to hear that I believe it’s better to go all in on our Strengths. I believe with every piece of my soul that we are “perfectly lopsided” and uniquely designed to fit into the puzzle of this world – with all our knobs, feet, and odd edges. If we file down those edges, we would all be well-rounded, sure, but the puzzle could never be completed.

When we lean into what we’re naturally good at, we unlock a unique power and potential that can’t be manufactured. Trying to become “well-rounded” by investing too much energy in areas where we struggle just leads to frustration and mediocrity.
Two thirds of our weaknesses are rooted in our Strengths, either overusing them or underusing them (shutting them off).

When we focus on refining and maximizing our strengths, we mitigate (or solve) two thirds of our weaknesses, AND we can perform at a higher level and with greater joy. So this doesn’t mean ignoring weaknesses entirely but rather being strategic about how to handle them.

My Turning Point:
For the first thirty years of my life, I dissected all the things that were wrong with me. It felt safer to pinpoint my own flaws than to hear them from others. I believed that “failing” or making mistakes exposed my “not enoughness”.

While I was very high achieving, I was constantly trying to find and fix my weaknesses, and the perfectionism and self-criticism was crippling. I found myself drained, unhappy, going through a divorce, and wondering if this was the life I wanted to model to my two young daughters.

When I discovered CliftonStrengths (then called StrengthsFinder 2.0), it changed everything for me. The extensive research behind it began to crack the belief that “everything was wrong with me” and opened me to the possibility that there were things RIGHT with me.

I shifted my focus to what I was great at—connecting with people, building strategies that empower others, and creating environments where teams thrive. This shift allowed me to contribute more meaningfully to my work and led me to where I am today with Daire 2 Succeed. When I encounter areas where I’m not naturally strong, I seek to collaborate with those who excel in those areas, allowing each person to bring their best. Naturally, I love to ask, “how can I do this?”, but often reframe it to, “who can help with this?”

For those of us who are juggling ambitious goals, the choice to go all in on strengths isn’t just a utopian ideal, it’s practical, effective, and efficient. This approach has allowed me to stay energized, creative, and passionate, which I’ve found to be critical for my long-term success. In my view, cultivating Strengths is the key to building a life and career that doesn’t just check boxes but truly fulfills and inspires us.

Contact Info:

Image Credits

Two photographers:
Laine Torres Bartley – pics 2,3,6,7,8
“Big Chris” Christopher James – pic 1
Pics 4 and 5 are candids.

Suggest a Story: BoldJourney is built on recommendations from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems,
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
Productivity
Where do you get your work ethic from?

We’ve all heard the phrase “work hard, play hard,” but where does our work ethic

Productivity
Tactics & Strategies for Keeping Your Creativity Strong

With the rapid improvements in AI, it’s more important than ever to keep your creativity

Productivity
From Burnout to Balance: The Role of Self-Care

Burning out is one of the primary risks you face as you work towards your