Meet Amanda Haro

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Amanda Haro. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Amanda below.

Amanda, we’re thrilled to have you sharing your thoughts and lessons with our community. So, for folks who are at a stage in their life or career where they are trying to be more resilient, can you share where you get your resilience from?

Both sides of my family are full of badass women. Women who developed resiliency through domestic abuse, drug addiction, abandonment, homelessness, immigration, and poverty. Resilience is wired into my DNA; my mind, body and soul evolved to alchemize hardships into strengths.

My grandma on my mom’s side put herself through nursing school while being a single mom to 8 kids. My grandma on my dad’s side came here as a dirt poor immigrant and put herself through certification programs while raising 4 children to become a CPA. My mother put herself through nursing school when I was in junior high, after surviving sexual assault, domestic abuse, and 2 divorces.

Because I had these amazing women as examples growing up, I have never doubted the power of a patient, resilient woman. You see, when a woman sets her mind to something, there is nothing she cannot achieve. She doesn’t need a man, or for life to give her hand outs, she just needs herself. I may be a single mom, but I am thriving. My life has never been better; I have never felt such deep peace and contentment.

And the best part? My happiness has nothing to do with my circumstances and everything to do with the love and validation I have created for myself. This is true resiliency. I’m not afraid of anything life may throw at me, because I know that I will always have my own back. This is true confidence. And a woman who is both truly confident and resilient is unstoppable.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

My brand exists to serve one of the historically underserved groups of people: moms. I was a stay at home mom to 4 girls for nearly a decade & I got completely lost in the process. Please do not misunderstand–I love my kids & I loved that time I got to spend with them. But I didn’t know how to take care of myself, I didn’t have resources available to me to show me how to find that balance, but the number one thing holding me back was my mindset. I truly believed that a good mom should sacrifice her whole self for her kids. But I was dying inside, and I came to the realization that my kids would be better served by a mom who was fully alive. So I began what turned into a 5 year journey of liberating myself off the backburner. I now know exactly who I am, I do not live in a constant state of overwhelm and burnout, and it’s made me a better mom. Now I am on a mission to make sure that every mom has these tools to liberate herself off the backburner.

I chose a bold name for my company: F*ck It Mothering. I get 1 of 2 reactions when I talk to people about it. Either they love it and want to be best friends or they clutch their pearls and let me know I might be losing clients because some might take offense (as if I hadn’t considered that…). But I chose this name for my business and podcast because if a woman is going to go against the grain and put herself first, she’s going to have to say ‘f*ck it’ to all the external expectations that have been put on her her entire life.

It is a bold choice to be a woman who loves herself fully, is her unique self always, and who always has her own back. So my company name reflects that. I’m going first, forging a path, to prove that it’s possible for her too.

My podcast F*ck It Mothering is available anywhere podcasts are streamed and releases new episodes every Thursday. I’m doing a special holiday series beginning mid November called “Merry F*ck It Christmas” where I interview moms and we talk about how to let go (say ‘f*ck it’) of the holiday expectations that they hate without feeling guilty about it so they can ENJOY the holidays instead of being stressed out the entire time. It should be the most magical time of the year for the kids AND the moms! I also have a recurring series called ‘F*ck It Friday’ where I am joined by two other mom coaches and we say ‘f*ck it’ to all of the annoying parts of motherhood. That releases the first Friday of every month.

I work with clients in a unique way. Typically life coaches schedule weekly Zoom meetings with clients. But moms are busy and the last thing we want to do is figure out how to squeeze one more thing in our overflowing calendars. So I work with clients through Voxer, which is a free walkie-talkie app. Right now I am offering a mini coaching package for people who would like to try coaching without a long term commitment. It’s called, “Stop Snapping at Your Kids”. 4 weeks, 4 audio lessons sent straight to their inbox, and 4 weeks of on-the-go Voxer coaching. Clients can go into the app whenever they find pockets of time, and I get back to them on a specific day of the week. It’s the perfect coaching container for the busy mom, designed by a busy mom. And all for the price of eating out with their family once. https://fckitmothering.ck.page/products/stop-snapping-at-your-kids

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

1. Confidence. No matter what we choose to do or where life takes us, having a strong sense of self is the most important skill we can develop, especially for women. Women are socialized to be people pleasers, to prioritize other people’s emotions always, to not trust ourselves, to always look OUTSIDE for the right answers. But the truth is that there’s never really a wrong answer or a wrong choice. There’s just the right choice for you, but you are the only one who can say what that is. This world will swallow you whole if you don’t know exactly who you are and make the daily choice to always have your own back.

2. Resourcefulness. The only guarantee in life is that it will change. The idea that anything is forever is a lie that gives us a false sense of security. But if you remember that you are resourceful, you don’t have to be scared when things change again, because you can trust yourself to learn what you need to learn, to pivot however you need to pivot, in order to get through it.

3. Love. It wasn’t until I learned how to fully love myself, and all parts of myself, that I was able to fully love others. To fully love this crazy adventure that is life. If we don’t love our lives then what the fuck is the point? Don’t ever get too busy that you forget to love.

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Image Credits

Lydia Bjorhus

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