Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Amanda Jefferies. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Hi Amanda, appreciate you sitting with us today to share your wisdom with our readers. So, let’s start with resilience – where do you get your resilience from?
From a very young age, I learned quickly I was going to need thick skin if I was I was going to put myself out into the world. I learned life is effing hard and I knew I had to pull myself up every time I was knocked down. Growing up in a low-income family quickly taught me that it was my responsibility to look out for myself and if I wanted something I needed to work as hard as I could until I achieved it. Recently, my outlook on resiliency has greatly changed. In March 2020 my life was completely turned upside down as the COVID-19 pandemic hit. At the time I was working as a manager at a community health center and overnight my professional life changed. I became deployed to the front lines of the pandemic and spent 18 months helping screen and test patients for the virus. I spent the first few months reacting to a PPE (personal protective equipment) shortage. I luckily had some N-95 masks from doing home renovations and shared those masks with my teams because they were the only ones we had access to. It was terrifying and not only was I participating in a global collective trauma I was having to directly respond to it. I will spare you the details, but the pandemic basically broke me completely down as a person and I have since been trying to rebuild myself. During the pandemic all we heard as front-line workers was “you are so resilient”. I remember I didn’t feel resilient, I would cry on the car ride to work because I didn’t want to spend another day working the front lines. I always saw myself as being resilient but this took things to a whole new level. Over the last few years I learned that resiliency can mean a lot of different things. To me, it means having the courage to continue to fight and persist, even if there are moments of darkness along the way. Pushing forward when you have repeatedly been knocked down is truly an art form and requires courage. It can be really scary to continue to move forward when life keeps throwing hurdles your way. I’ve learned that in order to be resilient there has to be a lot of self-love and compassion. I always thought being resilient meant being tough and hard. And when I was forced to dig deep I had to meet that with a lot of kindness and grace. The biggest thing I have learned over the last few years recovering from the pandemic is that each day all you can do is try your hardest. Somedays this will look different than others and as long as you are trying your best that’s okay. To be honest, I am still recovering from the pandemic and my mental health has required a lot of work. But I know as I move forward each day I am allowed to be compassionate and gentle with myself. You have to refill your own cup in order to give from it.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
Hi!!! I’m Amanda Jefferies, plus size model, community health worker, and I’m so excited to be back talking with Voyage Denver. I have been a signed model for the last 7 years and consider myself an artist and a creative. Modeling is the way I express myself, release emotion, and the place I feel the most like myself. It’s the only job I have ever had where I feel energized after working. On the flip size, I have been working in community/public health and the nonprofit space for 10 years. Community health has allowed me to work with so many different people and expanded my mind in ways I’m grateful for. These two careers have been a nice balance to each other.
With modeling, I get glamorous and artistic satisfaction. I am allowed to express myself and I can be whoever I want behind the camera. It helps me feel empowered and confident. It scares the shit out of me every time I do it in a way that leaves me wanting more. And I am so proud of myself when I finish a job and know I can do anything I put my mind to. There are also days when it’s not so glamorous and I take blows to my confidence because someone doesn’t like the way I look. Often times I am the only plus-size person on set and on those days I have to remind myself that I’m just as worthy as the smaller models. I’ve faced more rejection than I have approval. But it still fuels me in a way like nothing else does.
With community health and nonprofit work, I get to see the true pain and beauty in humanity and work with people on some of the worst days of their lives. Helping another person see their worth and feel empowered to take action to improve their lives is the most rewarding feeling for me. It has taught me compassion, and humility, and taught me how grateful I am for the things in my life. It has also crushed my soul, made me question humanity, and run my cup dry. It’s really hard work. It’s draining work. And it’s thankless work. People don’t go into community health and nonprofits for a career that is going to make them rich. We do it because we genuinely want to help people and give back to society.
I am currently working on blending the two into something I can do full-time. I have so many aspirations and my desire to give back to people and help will never go away. I want to inspire others to be themselves, be kind, and help as much as they can. I want to remind people that no matter what they look like, where they are from, or what size they are valid and deserving. Right now I am open to what the universe is planning for me. I am open to collaborating, creating, learning, and sharing. I am leaning into the unknown and look forward sharing where I end up with you all in the future.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that have been most impactful on my journey: 1. Trust your gut – it usually isn’t wrong. You know deep down what the best decision is and you have to trust yourself enough to listen. When I was younger I tended to ignore my intuition. A lot of times the universe had its own plan and I was trying to fight that. Trust yourself, you have all the answers you need, you just have to listen.
2. Be yourself! For many years I tried to force myself to fit into spaces that weren’t meant for me. Often this meant I wasn’t being authentic to myself and was changing who I was to meet the standards of somebody else. For a really long time I hated myself, I wanted to be literally anyone but me. As I’ve grown older I have learned the importance of truly being who you are. When you start living your life as authentically as possible it opens up this sense of freedom and empowerment. I find the more I’ve been myself over the year I have attracted people and opportunities in my life that turned out to be some of the biggest blessings.
3. If one door closes, go in through the side door. Sometimes the best answer is the unconventional answer. I truly believe if it doesn’t scare you, your dreams aren’t big enough. Have the courage to chase those dreams. There are always going to be roadblocks along the way. Instead of letting those roadblocks stop you, reroute, change course, and try another way. If something is meant for you, you will find a way to make it happen.
If you knew you only had a decade of life left, how would you spend that decade?
I’m writing this response at a very weird point in my professional career. Two days ago, I quit my public health job and resigned on the spot. This was something I have never done and I have to say I’m proud for standing up for myself. I started a new job a little over 7 months ago and from the beginning I could tell something was just off about it. I spent months constantly receiving negative feedback and being scrutinized for every little mistake I made. I’ve never had a job in my life that made me feel this bad about myself. I started doubting myself, my confidence, my intelligence, and my work ethic. Each day I was trying my hardest and it never felt good enough. I finally reached the point where I was brave enough to say “no, I will not tolerate being treated this way”. It took a lot of courage to walk away from this situation. To be frank I kind of feel like a failure. I feel like I disappointed so many people, including myself. But I’ve been reminding myself that my mental health and self-esteem are worth so much more than a paycheck and a job I was miserable in. While I wouldn’t recommend everyone goes out and quits their jobs, I will say have the courage to put yourself first. Have the guts to take a stand and remove yourself from situations that aren’t serving you. I have no idea where my community health journey will go from here. But I hope this new opportunity allows me to come back to myself and reignite my love for creating. I feel like I haven’t had the space emotionally to do photoshoots and pour myself into the fashion and creative scene like I did before the pandemic. With all this spare time I now find myself with, haha, I plan on allowing myself the space and resources to reignite my love for fashion. I am going to lean into my modeling career and explore ways I can move that career from part-time to being a much larger part of my life. I am feeling optimistic and hopeful.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: @amandajojefferies
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=514296605
Image Credits
Jason Espinoza @jasonespinozaphotography
