We were lucky to catch up with Amanda Rodriguez recently and have shared our conversation below.
Amanda, first a big thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and insights with us today. I’m sure many of our readers will benefit from your wisdom, and one of the areas where we think your insight might be most helpful is related to imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is holding so many people back from reaching their true and highest potential and so we’d love to hear about your journey and how you overcame imposter syndrome.
Imposter syndrome, to me, is a mindset that says, “You aren’t good enough. You shouldn’t be here. You aren’t doing it well so how could you teach others to do it well?”
When I read those words to myself, it stings. When I think about myself as a little girl, and an adult woman saying those things to her, it stings more.
I began to feel like I wasn’t good enough and wasn’t parenting as well as I’d like when my first child was about 3.5 years old. It’s around that age when kids enter the phase of being much more articulate and usually love to negotiate. They’ll do anything they can to get their way, while at the same time being so small – still beginning to understand the world, what it means to be a part of a family and just starting to have a bigger vocabulary to explain what they want. Not to mention, the giant waves of emotion that can overtake them along with the severely underdeveloped impulse control. Phew!
Many families, including my own, have a second child somewhere around this time, further adding to the complexities.
I began to wonder after a year though, why is my child still hurting his baby sister so often? This isn’t happening in the families I coach. Sure, they have struggles, but not to the extremity of what I’m experiencing – the daily aggression and intense outbursts.
Cue the imposter syndrome at its max.
It took me a whole year to figure out what was going on with my child. And when I did? I knew I wasn’t crazy. He had needs I couldn’t have pinpointed were going unmet without the help of several different professionals who helped me understand his neurodivergence and health challenges.
Of course I felt like an imposter when I hadn’t figured things out with my own child. But when I followed my mama’s intuition that told me there was something going on beneath the surface, looked for answers, hired professionals, and truly UNDERSTOOD what I was facing, I knew there was nothing wrong with my parenting. I was just parenting him as if he were neurotypical and he isn’t.
I’ve learned a lot through books and podcasts since then. It’s my nature! I knew I needed to be able to learn more about my son’s struggles to be able to parent him well so I could go back to being that positive example for other parents, especially my clients. I knew I needed to work even more on myself – the grief I felt, the loss, the heartache for my boy, the frustration, the lack of confidence – in order to show up for him how he needed it.
There were times I felt like giving up coaching because I wasn’t good enough. But, reading back through my reviews and really grounding myself into what was REALLY true about my family life was enough to take me off the imposter syndrome rollercoaster and back to being the confident leader I was.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I’m a Certified Parent Coach for parents and couples trying to do things differently than their parents did. My clients are those who want to break negative generational cycles of emotionally immature parenting, harsh punishments, dismissing, and violence. Sometimes, they’re couples who aren’t on the same page for the practical aspects for how to do that. Sometimes they’re moms or dads who are single parenting. I have a unique methodology and a road map for helping parents go from repeating the patterns of their past, understanding themselves more fully, understanding their CHILD more fully, and showing up as the parent they really want to be and are PROUD of. No more yelling, bribing, harsh punishments needed. I’m a coach who teaches you how to balance boundaries with love. A love that leaves your child not just hearing they’re unconditionally loved but TRULY feeling that way. That’s what I’m all about! Unconditional connections.
The road map I have is a system that works because I customize it to the unique needs of each family I work with. I’m also a mama of 2 myself, one who is neurodivergent, and I truly get what its like to be balancing a million things and trying to take care of myself at the same time. I see you, I get you, and I know I have tools, skills, and strategies to help you.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Confidence.
Growth mindset.
Sales.
The book, “You are a Badass” is one that changed my life. For me, it gave me the confidence and extra push I needed to start my own coaching business.
Here are two of my favorite quotes – “Because if you base your self-worth on what everyone else thinks of you, you hand all your power over to other people and become dependent on a source outside of yourself for validation. Then you wind up chasing after something you have no control over, and should that something suddenly place its focus somewhere else, or change its mind and decide you’re no longer very interesting, you end up with a full-blown identity crisis.”
“maybe, if you put your disbelief aside, roll up your sleeves, take some risks, and totally go for it, you’ll wake up one day and realize you’re living the kind of life you used to be jealous. of”
In my mid-twenties, I began to notice how easily I could blame others, or act like a victim to my own challenges. I needed the support of deep friendships to help me begin to see that I could choose to view my challenges as opportunities. My friends were the kind of people who encouraged me no matter what. They knew I could overcome my challenges and they believed in me more than I initially did in myself. That’s when I was able to develop more of a growth mindset, start reading more books, and listening to podcasts (obsessively). I didn’t do the journey alone and I have a great husband and friends to thank for it.
Sales was another big skill I needed to hone. I’m still working on this, as people’s needs are constantly changing. When I learned sales was service, that was a kicker. I want to serve, I don’t want to sell. But if people don’t know I exist, or know I can help them, how can I serve them? I needed to learn to be good at both of these skills to be successful. So I’ve read several books and listened to more podcasts in my usual fashion to keep learning and growing, failing, trying again, and improving each year.
One of our goals is to help like-minded folks with similar goals connect and so before we go we want to ask if you are looking to partner or collab with others – and if so, what would make the ideal collaborator or partner?
I love collaborating with others! I could always use more therapists in my network who have different areas of specialty. Sometimes, there are underlying needs clients have that aren’t being addressed and therapists have skills and tools beyond my scope.
I also love collaborating with daycare/childcare directors and schools. These places often are the hosts for my in-person workshops and care deeply about parent education.
If you’re a functional medicine practitioner who takes insurance and works with children, I also need you in my network!
If you’re a top-notch play therapist, I’d also love to connect.
Since I work with parents, not with children, it’s always great to partner with others who work with the kids while I work with the parents.
Anyone looking to connect can email me at [email protected]
I so look forward to collaborating and connecting further!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.unconditionalconnections.com
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amanda-rodriguez-a9422332/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@UnconditionalConnections
Image Credits
Catherine Rose Photography
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
